“Reunited and it feels so … Bad?”

Tis the season! No, not Christmas… the other season – the summertime – when people from all over the country (and even the world) travel far distances to get together for weddings, parties, and reunions of many kinds. “Pop the cork and grill the ribs – look who’s back in town!”

For some, seeing people from their pasts is an exciting prospect. They get to see family and old friends that perhaps they haven’t seen in a year, or five, or more! But for others, it is a nerve racking, hair-raising time because, well, because they are going to see family and old friends that perhaps they haven’t seen in a year, or five, or more!

See the dilemma?

Unfortunately, I see the dilemma, and I understand it all too well. It’s a nice thought to gather for reunions; but if you’ve weathered some of life’s storms, whether emotional or physical, or if your looks have changed a great deal (gained or lost too much weight), you fear that you’ll become the topic of conversations that you’d really rather not be the topic of. See what I mean?

I remember how hard it was for me, after having a baby born with a limb difference, trying to explain the story time after time, to people who were not yet familiar with what happened. And I remember when someone dear to me was going through a divorce. Seeing people he hadn’t seen in a long time, fielding questions like, “Where’s your wife?” It was pretty hard for him. Why, sometimes situations like these can make a person want to eat more than they should, drink more than they ought, or even feel sick to the point of not wanting to reunite with people at all!

I wonder how many times I’ve heard someone say, “We’re invited to a wedding! How much weight do you think I can I lose in six weeks???” I mean seriously, why should someone who’s recently had a baby (or even had a baby twenty-five years ago) worry about seeing people from their past? Pregnancy is a crazy experience, and affects us all in different ways, doesn’t it? It’s one of life’s biggest “WOW!’s” Right? It changes us – inside and out! Instead of feeling ashamed, shouldn’t we feel proud?

Not to mention that some have endured bad accidents, gone thru cancer or cancer scares, the diagnosis of Diabetes or MS, fought hard for life in some way… Why should they even be concerned about appearance, much less weight? Isn’t the “getting together” the main thing, the “seeing each other again” the whole point?

I’m sure there are many different ways to view this topic. It’s not that I don’t get it. I’m one of the people who received the wedding invite and began an immediate diet. Believe me. But at the same time, I’ve also very randomly bumped into an old friend that I haven’t seen in 30 years, and been thrilled to tears to see them again – and they seemed the same. So I ask, why all the fretting?

I propose this… If we all care enough to invite each other to weddings, and parties, and reunions, then let’s be kind to each other. Deal? We never know of the storms that people have weathered or the joys that they’ve experienced, until we’re privileged enough to discuss it with them. Let’s dust off our most sincere smiles, open our ears, and indulge in some good and meaningful conversations with the people we’ve traveled far and wide to reunite with.

What is it that Dr. Seuss tells us? “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Now there’s some reunion advice I can get on board with… Let’s change the title of this blog post back to its original intent, “Reunited and it feels so good.”

Tis the party season, so go have some fun out there!  

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

One Memmel's Memory...

My memory is a crazy place, let me tell you...

I remember strange details about events that other folks tend to forget. I’m not sure how it works – how I can so deeply process certain things; but sights, sounds, smells, and songs (DEFINITELY songs), can all play a big part in triggering a memory for me. Sometimes I reference a certain event by what I was wearing, and yes, even by what I weighed. (For example, my thinner years: 1977-81, 1983-84, 1989-90, 1997-1999, 2011-12, and so on.)

My family has learned not to even attempt correction of my details. We’ve placed a few bets, and enjoyed some hearty laughs when they dare say, “Oh that’s right, Mom, you remember because it was winter and you were driving in the blue car while wearing your red Badger t-shirt, with the picture of Bucky on the front???” Yes, that’s precisely how I remember, thank you very much…!) 

I suggest that if they don’t think I’m right, feel free to check a calendar J  (They don’t check…)

But seriously, I’ve found that my ‘good memory’ is both a blessing and a curse

As for the blessing - my recollections provide me with beautiful memories of dear family times - talking and laughing with my mom, vacations, graduations and weddings. My memory provides me with thoughts of people long in my past, picnics by lakes, school dances, nights at the symphony, amusement parks and festivals. I remember a boy who rode his bike to my house, and sweet letters of love. I remember conversations of deep importance and conversations of sheer ridiculousness (which is why we so often laugh). My memory served me well in the writing of my book… the days of the week on which my children were born, how it felt to be a mom, and the emotions (positive and negative) that I’ve experienced surrounding all of it.

This blows people’s minds, by the way – it really does. “How can you remember ALL of that?” they often ask. I believe that the majority of folks can barely remember what they ate for breakfast, much less what they did in June of 1977, am I right? But for some reason, I remember. The fact that I kept a journal (which has long since been destroyed) helped. But what I found funny about those early journals was that I often wrote things like: “Dear Journal: We had so much fun tonight – I’ll write more later.” But then I didn’t write more later. Go figure…

The few friends that I still have from long-ago high school days, know this about me and appreciate how my head operates. I’ve become something of the group ‘historian.’ “Katie, do you remember when we went (Fill in the blank here - camping, to the Brewers game, shopping, whatever) and then we …?”  and I answer, “Yep, I remember it – what do you want to know?”

For many of these exact same reasons I find having this good memory a curse. If I’m being honest, not all family times were pleasant or produced good conversations or laughs. Not all vacations were a blazing success. People want to ‘move on, and move forward,’ so remembering sweet old friends can be bittersweet indeed. Sometimes it’s painful to remember ‘the good ole days,’ especially if I’m the only one who remembers. I find that men, specifically, (even Todd -  unless it’s about cars, boats, trains, you get the picture) have terrible memories. My dad is the exception to this. He’s the same way as me, which is probably where I get this attribute from.  Sometimes people like to keep their past in the past, and don’t like to be reminded of previous blights, blunders, OR even past bliss, for that matter. Not everyone finds it fun or enlightening. Sometimes it hurts when I remember something meaningful that I found great joy or deep sadness in, but the other person doesn’t remember it at all. It almost makes me feel like it never happened – like it was a dream or something… which of course it wasn’t.

But having this memory is simply who I am. Most of the time I wouldn’t change it for the world. The many blessings outweigh the minor curses. I can make a roomful of people laugh so hard that they thank me later. (Of course the opposite is also true – minus the ‘thanks.’) Maybe it’s even what makes me a writer… who knows?

So, anyway, if you’re ever wondering where you were or what you were doing on the 25^th day of June in 1970-something, just ask me. I’ll probably remember because:  I was on a bus wearing my blue “Virginia is for Lovers” t-shirt, and listening to Fleetwood Mac; or another time wearing my blue jean cut-offs while washing the dishes during a thunderstorm while listening to Gustav Holst on classical radio; or on Memorial Day weekend of 1980-something, driving to the cottage in our blue pick-up truck, eating French fries and singing along to Alabama’s “Mountain Music…”

And my hope is – my prayer is – that no matter the memory, I’ll never forget.

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

A Whirlwind of a Week in Waukesha, Wis.

Now, before I tell you about my whirlwind week, allow me to first lay a bit of groundwork…

In the fall of 2013, Tony was asked to be the guest musician/speaker at a camp in Florida, April 11-13, 2014. “Hands 2 Love” has been hosting camp for 14 years. It started with seven families, all who were raising a child with a limb difference. This year they hosted 70 families. As positive comments about my book filtered out into the limb difference community, H2L also invited me to fly down to Florida, be with Tony, and share pieces of our family’s story with the other parents. After the camp’s organizer (Ruthie) read my book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” she thought that Todd had an interesting perspective as well – so she invited him to come to Florida too.

Our son-in-law (Joe’s) parents recently celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. The good news was that Megan and Joe were coming home to Wisconsin for a surprise party for Joe’s mom and dad. The bad news was that they were coming the weekend of April 11-13. Are you with me so far??? Why must EVERYTHING ALWAYS happen in the same week???  That d*rn Murphy and his law…!

I felt sad and disappointed that the two events criss-crossed. At the same time, I’d committed to this camp and its good cause, which is, as you know, very near and dear to my heart. Thankfully, Megan and Joe were able to add a few extra days to the beginning of their trip, and Todd and I got to spend a couple of days/nights with the kids, whom we hadn’t seen since Thanksgiving. From the time I picked the two up at the airport, we ran at full schedule. We visited extended family members, went out to dinner, went shopping (it wouldn’t be a reunion with Megan if we didn’t somehow go shopping!) drank a glass (or two) of wine, talked, talked, talked (did I mention talk?) Overall we had a lovely visit. So, though our time together was limited, on the day of Joe’s parents’ party, the kids dropped Todd and me at the airport, and then enjoyed quality time with Joe’s family – a win/win. His mom and dad were so surprised and excited to see the kids. Success!

Todd and I flew into Gainesville, Florida - a part of Florida that we'd never visited before. The camp was set on a lake’s shore with cabins scattered around the outskirts. It was a very pretty sight. Todd, Tony and I stayed at a motel. The number of camp families had grown so large that some of the attendees stayed at the motel too.

The weather turned out gorgeous – if you enjoy blue skies, temps in the low 80’s, and a light wind blowing thru the trees. On Monday, as I sat at my dining room table looking out at the snow swirling around in my back yard (again!), it was hard to believe we just experienced all of that beautiful weather the day before. Though I love my Wis. home, those warm breezes surely did call out my name…

Everyone at the camp welcomed us with warm smiles and hugs. It was such fun to finally associate faces and names to certain Facebook friends of mine. Every so often someone came up to introduce herself to me, and we’d smile and laugh as old friends – which of course we are! Oh, social media - how you’ve changed the world! Ruthie showed us around and explained what we’d be doing on Saturday. How strange it was for me to be back in a camp setting after so many years. It brought back wonderful memories of my own experiences attending 4-H and church camps. Isn’t it amazing how things ‘stay the same’ even as they change? Think about it…  

On Saturday morning I felt a little nervous. Todd and I planned to host four parent sessions throughout the day, while their kids attended a music clinic with Tony and a drumming specialist. The subject of our sessions was “Networking.” I remember so clearly being a young mom, trying to find other families to connect with who felt the same way I did. For many parents those feelings still ring true. Let me say this… the world is not always kind, as we all know. But when you are raising a child with a ‘difference,’ when you’re often on guard, watching for people’s reactions, listening for hurtful comments, it can be – well – it can be exhausting. This was a weekend where the parents felt peaceful, ‘at home,’ their children could simply ‘be.’ Since everyone attended for a united purpose, there was never a time for them to feel signaled out or alone. Everyone there was in it together. I hoped and prayed that Todd’s and my message would be heard and well-received because working with these young moms and dads is one of the joys of my life - truly.

Our outdoor location could not have been more fantastic. We sat high up on a hill, with mossy trees providing our shade. We looked to our left – lake. We looked to our right – lake. From the nearby rec center we heard the sounds of the distant drum clinic, and our son’s voice leading a chorus of children in “The Lucky Fin Song.” What a rough way to spend a work day, you know?  A tough job, but somebody had to do it… ;)  The beautiful setting seemed to remove any apprehension.

As I prepared at home the week before, I came across this statement about networking:

“Be amongst others who share your dream.”

I believe that all parents dream for their children – I know that I did and still do! We dream about their futures, what choices they’ll make, what line of work they’ll choose, who they’ll meet (and possibly marry someday)… These parents are coming from many miles to network with other parents who all share a similar bond. Every one of them shares their life with a person (mostly a child) with a limb difference. So as they network about their beautiful kids, as they share what works and what doesn’t, as they laugh or tear up, they know they’re “amongst others who share their dream.” The feedback I received was that, at this time in their lives, nothing is better than that. The date for camp is marked on their calendars already for next year. The countdown has begun.

Camp ended on Sunday morning. Tony spoke to all of the kids and adults, showed the captive audience how he “tapes up” with Gorilla Tape every time he plays. He talked about persistence in doing what you love to do. He sang a couple of his songs. And finally, at the end, he led the whole children’s group in “The Lucky Fin Song,” and all of the kids did hand motions. If there was a dry eye in the place, I didn’t see it. An emotional slide show ended the morning, showing all of the special things (archery, art, music, ropes course, etc.) the kids had done and accomplished throughout the weekend.  Click here to see the Lucky Fin Song video from August, 2013:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Q8pRO_4MI&list=PLAB4186F7073B844F

I want to personally thank all of those at Hands 2 Love who take their time, energy, resources, and love to host this camp each year. They’ve grown ten-fold since their beginning 14 years ago. Who even knows what the future may hold? All I know is that when I was a young mother, it was awfully difficult to find someone who understood what I was feeling. There is growing support out there for all of these parents who want to network, and “be amongst others who share their dream.”

…and there’s a message in there for us all...

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” The book is available thru Amazon. For more information, go to www.katiekolbergmemmel.com

The Sheboygan Symphony Orchestra and Chorus

So… here’s a question I never dreamed that I’d be asked:

“How does it feel to be the mom of a guy who wrote his own original music for / and performed with a professional symphony and choral group?”

Let me backtrack just a bit, for any of you who might be lost. Back in the fall of 2011, Tony Memmel (our son) worked with the Madison Youth Choirs as their “Artist in Residence.” Tony met and mingled with the various groups of kids, and worked with the directors to teach the children his own music.  The three concerts performed that day turned out to be inspiring, amazing and special.  

That day, Tony was approached by one of the dads who happened to be the conductor of the “Sheboygan Symphony Orchestra.” He loved what he’d heard and seen during the concert, and knew that his daughter had enjoyed the experience. He asked if Tony might be interested in someday working with his group as well. Tony said yes!

Tony had a lot of work to do. He needed to decide which of his songs would translate best into orchestral and choral works. After choosing five pieces, the challenge began – he needed to write the music - all of it. He wrote parts for violins, cellos, string basses, drums, piano, oboe, etc. He wrote vocal parts for sopranos, altos, baritones and basses. He submitted everything to the conductor (the dad from Madison) and he and Tony consulted together to ensure all the creations melded together.   

The concert date was set for March 15, 2014. Tony Memmel and his Band, which includes his wife, Lesleigh on piano and back-up vocals, and their friend/drummer, Brian Farvour, would play alongside the Sheboygan Symphony & Chorus.

On Saturday, Todd and I picked up my dad (Tony’s grandpa) and we drove the 75 miles north. The conductor held a casual coffee/dessert session prior to the concert. Almost 100 ticket-holders met to listen as he described the pieces of music that the groups would be playing/singing that evening. When he got to Tony’s pieces of music, he asked for Tony & Lesleigh to go up to the front. He interviewed them with questions like how they met, what their musical backgrounds consisted of, what inspires him to write good songs, their affiliation with the Lucky Fin Project and the work that the organization does, etc. Both of them introduced their families, and I felt so proud to stand up with Todd, and show the room that this handsome, talented young man was our son; and this lovely young woman our daughter-in-law.

During intermission, the stage was set with the choir’s risers, the grand piano, and Brian’s drum set. We socialized with so many who had come out to support Tony – family members, old friends, people from our church - even our (now-retired) pastor who had baptized and confirmed Tony, and married him and Lesleigh. One Lucky Fin mom even flew in all the way from the east coast to be a part of the weekend.

When we took our seats I knew that the moment had arrived - ‘this was it.’ As always, I lifted up a silent prayer for good health, strong voice, and confidence. My heart skipped a beat when the kids took the stage. They looked so good – Lesleigh in her red dress and black sweater, the cowboy boots on her feet from when we shopped in Nashville; and Tony in his black pants and vest, with a nice shirt (not plaid this time) and tie. The conductor raised his arms and began the Overture to “Here We Go.” The strings struck up their chords, sounding like a day dawning, a sun rising, and from there the music built. By the time they got fully into the songs with all of the instruments playing and all of the voices harmonizing, tears rolled from my eyes and I just sat back and enjoyed every minute.

For those of you who’ve read my book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” you know that in Chapter 53 I reference Tony’s ability to write music. Just like Todd can envision a construction project in his head, with every nail in its final place, Tony can envision in his mind, a piece of unwritten music – solos, harmonies, instruments, etc. The same gift, but different. Here’s the link:  http://www.amazon.com/Five-Fingers-Ten-Toes-Difference/dp/1478368055/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395179532&sr=8-1&keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel

In my opinion, the symphony/orchestra performance proved that theory a hundred percent. And this post would not be complete without a shout-out to the symphony's conductor, Dr. Kevin McMahon, who was able to share Tony's musical vision. He worked with his musicians and made the music sound amazing. Thank you so much...

I know that I’ve said this before, but I feel it bears repeating… when my son was a few hours old, I had his entire life in question. Without a left forearm or hand, how would he ever play sports or music? Would anyone ever love him? And of course, by now, you know the answers… In 2009, without a left forearm or hand, he married Lesleigh, the love of his life. She sings and plays piano in his band, she’s his biggest fan, and has his back in all situations. Without a left forearm or hand, he learned to play the guitar, has a beautiful voice, and has recently moved to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue more music. And last Saturday night, without a forearm or hand, he performed his pieces for an audience of 700-plus, with a talented group of 100 instrumentalists and vocalists.  

Suffice to say that yes, I cried all those years ago; but the tears I’m crying now are for a whole new beautiful reason. Now I ask questions like is there anything that he won’t do? And I think you all know the answer to that.

So let me go back to the initial question of this post:  “How does it feel to be the mom of a guy who wrote his own original music for / and performed with a professional symphony and choral group?”

My answer is this: I feel that God is good and faithful. I feel proud that Tony has worked hard and doesn’t quit. But most of all, I feel blessed – blessed beyond measure.

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, go to her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com   

Life All Patched Together

You know, it’s funny… not haha funny, just interesting…

When I string together all of the snippets and pieces of my life, it creates quite a scene. I was going to say it makes quite a “Tapestry,” like Carole King used to sing about, and that is an amazing word and an amazing way to view life, for sure… patches (experiences) sewn together to make something beautiful and warm.

When I was a younger person, I never thought that where I was going or what I was doing, thinking, or feeling, was all that interesting. But now! Let me tell you that now, at age 52, I look back and say, yes, I have done that – yes, I have gone there – yes, I experienced that – yes, my heart broke, and yes, it mended because of someone or something… And I’m glad.

For this blog post, I’ll only go back as far as my marriage. I’ve been reflecting this weekend because me and ‘the old man,’ (a.k.a. Todd) met 34 years ago on February 28, 1980. My entire adult life is tied to him and him to me. That might sound sort of ‘dullsville’ to some; but I’ve come to realize that it’s actually pretty cool. We’ve seen each other through an awful lot: job layoffs, home buying and building, the births of two beautiful kids, overwork, underpay, vacations, deaths of parents, laughs, tears, bad arguments and great make-ups - and more.

Sometimes when we were deep into the thick of things it seemed like days droned on forever. But they didn’t. The sun always set, and eventually rose the next day – same 24 hour period. And now when we look back it seems that even those days flew. Isn’t that strange?

Sometimes it felt like we never went anywhere interesting. As a young stay-at-home mom I wished we’d vacation more often. Yet, when I think about it, we’ve been to so many places – Canada and Mexico - and at least 20 of the states between California and Connecticut – some (like Florida) – multiple times. As our kids grew up and moved away, (Megan east and Tony south) they provided us with locales and purposes to visit that we might never have seen or realized. We never know what might happen to provide us with a good memory, trip or story.

We’ve cheered for our kids at soccer, basketball and baseball games. We’ve cheered for the Waukesha North marching band in Pasadena on New Years Day and in New York City on Thanksgiving Day. We’ve cheered for our favorite professional teams at the famous Lambeau Field, Milwaukee’s own Bradley Center and Miller Park; and I even took in a Brewers game at Yankee Stadium once. Awesome!

 

We own a boat that has taken our family on adventures (some more fun than others, but always adventures nonetheless) that many only read about (and some only want to read about) – from the locks on the Mississippi River (from LaCrosse all the way to Stillwater on the St. Croix), to the eastern shores of Lake Michigan, to Green Bay and up into Door County. Todd and I went to the Apostle Islands in Lake Superior and explored the famous sea caves.

As a couple Todd and I went to the top of the arch in St. Louis, rode the Maid of the Mist at Niagara Falls, and observed the crazy/beautiful animals at the San Diego Zoo.

See what I mean? Over the span of 34 years, the experiences begin to really mount up. I don’t know if it’s age or maturity or experience or what – but I really believe the old Ecclesiastical teachings…  “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven. There’s a time to be born and a time to die, a time to sow and a time to reap, a time to cry and a time to dance.” And for us, there’s a time to travel and a time to stay home. There was a time to be active in our kids’ lives and there’s a time to let them go and be... and a time to re-create our own life.

And when you do that, when you string your life all together some day, even the days that seemed like they went on forever, I hope that your story makes a beautiful tapestry too.

Here’s to more smiles than tears!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

Using the Cold for Good

Just in case you haven’t heard (and I know that you have heard) it’s been a long, cold, snowy winter here in Waukesha, Wis. I could go on and on about the negatives of that reality, OR I could (and I will) tell you a way that this cold snap served to improve my quality of life.

Long story short – I’m getting organized!

Let me take a quick poll. How many of you have counter clutter? Raise your hands. Okay, good, so I see I’m not the only one. These past weeks of cold and snow-filled days served as a great time to shred old papers, file others, and hopefully not get the two categories confused ;)  (eeek!)

I took this frozen tundra time of life to wade thru old bank statements, statements so old that I will not be divulging their years. Suffice to say that I feel much better now, and much more “in control” of my bank statement life (wipes sweat from brow because finances are a HUGE issue and not one to be shluffed off for so long). It was interesting though, even with what I just said… most of my calculating has been very accurate. I’ll even go so far as to say I impressed myself with my bookkeeping accuracy. BUT (and here’s the interesting part) the places that I found a few errors in my accounting were during hectic and stressful times of life - a week before or after a major event – say a wedding or a funeral, a graduation or a move. This is good to know about myself. I need to be extra diligent at busy times, to ensure I don’t make foolish mistakes. Good to know now that I plan to account every single month! (at least until I get busy) (then every two months) (uh oh, this is how the trouble began in the first place!) lol

Another project I undertook was transferring all of our family’s names, addresses and phone numbers into a new address book. Do other people do this too? I’ll write down a name and phone number on a scrap of paper, and rather than enter it into the book, I’ll shuffle that paper around for a reeeeally long time. If I pick the book up in a hurry, those scraps of paper usually flutter to the floor and either get lost or stepped on. So I took this cold weather opportunity to go through all of the paper scraps and get them organized.

It was so interesting because I haven’t done this project in quite a while, and I realized that so many of our siblings, friends, nieces and nephews have moved around a lot. It’s probably best to write an address book in pencil because so many of the entries get crossed out and adjusted over and over and over again, until people finally settle into a spot where they remain for a long, long time. There were quite a few names of people we never see or hear from anymore. There are as many reasons for this as there are people, but due to moves, job changes, kids growing up, divorces, etc. there are people we may never see again. Strange, isn’t it? There were days that we sat in a living room, on our driveway, or around a campfire, watched our kids run around, exchanged stories and made memories; but sometimes people are only placed in our path for a short time. We remember them and the experiences we shared, but they’re not permanent. But on this cold afternoon, it was fun to think about them again - and smile.

Anyway, to be true to my project I got honest with myself, and eliminated some of those names from my new address book. It hurts a little, I’m not gonna lie. But I must say that my countertop looks better already, and seems lighter without the fluttering clutter.

HOWEVER, should those people ever contact me with new information, I promise they’ll be right back on a new scrap of paper, stuffed loosely into my new address book – just until I take the time to permanently add them in ink, during a Wisconsin winter cold snap – in 5 or 10 years, tops!  ;) 

Hope all’s well (and warm) in your necks of the woods.

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.”  For more information, go to her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com   

 

 

Happy Who (I mean New) Year! 2014

Happy New Year!

I’m sitting over here typing, wearing a pointy hat and blowing a party horn (OR, even better, blowing one of those curly-cue thingies!) I’m nothing if not festive at New Years! ;)

I know, I know, it’s already well into January. You’re probably thinking ‘where in the h*ck has she been, for cryin’ out loud…?’ And you would be correct to wonder that – in a way. But after all, I am a woman, and it was the holidays, and women at the holidays can be very very busy! (Yes, so can men, but perhaps that’s another blog for another day…)

I’ve got to say that many many moons ago, when the young Kolberg clan celebrated Christmas, my mother made it all look easy. It probably wasn’t easy, but I was just too little, busy or self-absorbed to notice. She cleaned the house, baked five or six types of cookies, taught Sunday School and participated in the Christmas program at our church, she sent out cards, she shopped and wrapped and … well… whatever else women do to make Christmas merry for their families, I guess.

When I got married I continued with those same traditions. Maybe I thought that it couldn’t really BE Christmas without all of the above. But I began to see that December became a very grueling month. For those of you who know me, you know that cleaning the house (in and of itself) is a feat for me. I baked some cookies (but more like two or three kinds), I sent the kids to Christmas program practice but didn’t teach for more than one year, I shopped and wrapped… and cards – oh my goodness – cards have become quite the project! By the time I sign each card with a personal greeting, find a worthy picture (this year we used a shameless ‘selfie’), create a dreaded Christmas letter for those who don’t know what’s what with our family… well, we’re talking HOURS, I mean DAYS, of work. (Well, not DAYS, really, but you know what I mean…)

Actually, I’m really kidding. I totally enjoy Christmas and all of its fun, secular activities. 

But my favorite part of the whole season is the quiet church service on Christmas Eve, when we all light candles and sing “Silent Night.” If every other tradition faded away, that’s the only one I’d want to/need to keep. It’s what it’s all about. “…radiant beams from thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace, Jesus Lord at thy birth…”

I think that Dr. Seuss had it beautifully and brilliantly right. If you took away all of the “presents and tags, packages, boxes and bags,” (including the roast beast), the Who’s would still gather together, join hands and sing…

“Fahoo Foray, Dahoo Doray, Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day…”

Anyway, here’s to a great year in 2014. I have high hopes!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, go to her website: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com