Two Months or Two Years? Jan and Feb, 2020

The other day, I was chatting with my son, Tony, when he asked me an innocent, yet provocative question. “Mom, are you working on a new writing project?” 

Oh boy… Am I? he’s got me there. A direct question. Now what? 

He rapidly followed up his original question with another – equally as innocent, yet equally as provocative. “Do you still want to be a writer?” 

Whew! The same questions I’ve been asking myself. What should I say? I decided I had no choice but to answer him honestly. “Sooo, ya know, I mean, ummm, well, with 2020 being what it’s been and all, I ummm, ya know…” After hemming and hawing, I finally answered his question, “I do still want to be a writer, but no, I don’t really have a current writing project in the works. There’s a project in my mind’s eye that I’ve been considering for quite some time, but haven’t delved very far into it yet…” 

My answer to Tony was true; there is a creative project in my future, but it has sat dormant for quite a while. Life, with all of its twists and turns, seems to have played a few tricks on me. His question made me stop and think; this year really has been a challenge - not just for me, but for Todd and me; for our whole family; for our friends and neighbors; for the whole country; and for the whole world. Am I right? And while all of that is true, there’s no real reason why I should have ever stopped writing. I should have documented everything as it happened! Unfortunately, I didn’t. 

I took a deep breath and mustered the courage to look back at my “Blog Log” (a list of all my posts on “Katie’s View”). I realized I hadn’t written a new one since January. JANUARY??? That cannot be right, it’s already the end of October!!! But… I’m sad to say that January is the fact. I decided to brush off my laptop’s cobwebs and get busy. I’ll continue to envision my new project, and for now, work on it as inspiration hits me. That said, I know we’ve all met with challenges this year. I figured what the heck, I may as well write out some of mine. Who knows…? If I catch up and post on my blog, maybe somebody out there will be able to relate to one or two of my stories; maybe I can even help someone, somehow. One thing I’m sure about; time will tell.   

I started to write. I wrote and wrote. I wrote some more. What I had to say was no longer the length of a blog post, but more the length of a chapter. I contemplated my next move, and decided to re-work the stories into several shorter posts. Today is the first of several more I’ll be adding over the next couple of weeks. 

Are you ready? Here we go! 

During the fall of last year (2019), I shared that I had a loved one with dementia (my aunt), living in a nursing home. Truth be told, things weren’t going very well. She started to fall a lot. The dementia kept her from remembering she could no longer walk. It became the norm for either my brother’s or my own phone to ring (at least once) daily, alerting us to another fall. We met with the staff, offering numerous ideas of how to keep her seated in her wheelchair. We learned that there are so many restrictions in place to keep the elderly “free” to live, that their safety is actually what takes a hit. Absolutely nothing makes sense. (Shaking my head) 

Somehow we got through the holidays, but in mid-January we received the call, saying our aunt broke her hip. This is always bad news for an older person, but for someone who’s 93, things don’t usually go very well. My brother and I couldn’t fathom allowing her to sit on an unfixed broken hip, so we consented to the surgery. It went ok, but… she was never the same again. 

I learned so much during that time; about hospitals, doctors and nurses, procedures, hopes versus realities, advocating for a loved one, life, and possibly most vividly, death. I think that my “being responsible” for another person’s every health decision, through all of these experiences, made me a different person. 

My brother was out of town, so when the time came, as her POA for Healthcare, I needed to decide whether to place her in hospice care. I consulted with him on the phone. I asked my dad and my other siblings what they thought. While my brain knew it was the right thing to do, my feelings about it all became complicated. After I signed the paperwork, she passed away within four days. I know that doesn’t sound like a long time, but it felt long. The process was relatively peaceful, but wasn’t “quite as peaceful” as I’d imagined. There are certain things we must do that nobody can ever really prepare us for. (Sigh) It was only the end of January, but it felt like a lifetime.   

As if there weren’t enough other things on my mind, planning my aunt’s funeral led to a few disagreements amongst extended family members. It was the last thing anyone needed at a time like that, but I’ve noticed that stress can bring out strange behaviors. When my mom passed away in 2003, my dad was in charge of the arrangements. We were there for him, but he made all of the final decisions. For our aunt, it was up to my siblings and me – the service, flowers, music (which Tony volunteered to provide – so beautiful), burial, luncheon, etc. If you’ve never planned something like this, there’s a lot to it. 

Once the actual day arrived, everything turned out well. It was that one, rare, warm, sunny, Wisconsin February Saturday. Todd was by my side and so supportive; both of my children flew into town to be with me (so special) and to say good-bye to their great-aunt. I courageously prepared a eulogy, and was able to speak it from my heart. I must say, all was well with my soul. 

All these months later, I do miss her, but would never want things back the way they’d become. In fact, once COVID showed up, and nursing homes went on lockdowns, I felt relieved (blessed, actually) that my aunt wouldn’t have to endure life there, unable to understand why nobody could come to visit. Instead… she was already home. Thank you, God…  

A couple of days before the funeral, I had started coming down with a sore throat, runny nose, and a cough. While it was wonderful to see Tony and Megan, I didn’t feel very good. On Sunday morning, the day after the funeral, it started snowing like crazy. Thankfully, both kids had morning flights scheduled. As we drove them to the airport, we felt hopeful that their planes would be able to take off without a weather delay, which they did. 

When I said good-bye to them, my voice was almost gone, but still audible. Those were the last words I spoke to anyone for over a week. I got so sick. I couldn’t talk at all. Todd is too much of a gentleman to admit if this was a good development for him (my “not talking” I mean) but the jokes certainly did fly. Every time I tried to speak, or even whisper, it came out in a croak. When I tried to lie down to sleep, I felt as though I was drowning. I slept upright in the recliner chair for many nights. It was such a miserable time. My first round of antibiotics did nothing. My second round finally knocked it (whatever "it” was), out of me. By then, it was already early March. 

While some of my symptoms were similar, I don’t think it was COVID. Nobody around me, including Todd, ever got sick. I think it was probably stress-related from everything I’d gone through leading up to Catherine’s death and funeral. I’ll never know for sure. 

Sooo… that was our January and February, 2020. I’ll stop here for now, but as I said, the saga will continue soon, so if you’re interested, please stay tuned. 

Until then, stay well. 

God’s Blessings!

Katie 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes… A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”; “From This Day Forward…”; and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” All are available through Amazon as both an electronic and paperback version. For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com  

From December to January... and Beyond

Hello, and (dare I say???) welcome to 2020!

No, I am not Barbara Walters, introducing you to my television show. Rather I am Katie from “Katie’s View,” welcoming you to my blog, and into a brand new year.

Over the recent New Years holiday, Todd and I had a lovely couple of days; first welcoming in 2020 at midnight on Tuesday, and then having a whole day off from work on Wednesday. It gave me time to reflect on a few things… and reflect I did!

I got to thinking about my “olden days” when I was a much younger person. Back in high school, and shortly thereafter, it seemed as though all of my New Years ambitions revolved around what I might do differently after January 1^st of any given new year. OR, if we’re being brutally honest, what I might do differently after January 2^nd because who really wants to make changes before the holidays are officially over? Am I right? I bet you can predict that no NY resolution I made ever stuck for more than a few days… maybe two weeks at the most. But... what about the rest of the year??? 

Since my weight has always been an issue, my resolutions usually included losing anywhere from 5-75 pounds, depending on the year. As time ticked by, I expanded my thinking and also included other resolution ideas. While these were noble attempts, my old behaviors usually returned somewhere around the 11^th of January, likely due to my extremely low blood sugar levels from all of that dieting.

I’m kidding, of course, but I bet I wasn’t alone in my thinking. This might sound silly, but did I really think that because the calendar moved us into January of a new year, all present problems (weight or otherwise) could be left in the previous December? That somehow, as if by magic, I could hang the new year on my wall, and that would bring enough motivation for me to become an entirely new person, inside and out? No more binge eating, no more negativity?  

I might have been a late bloomer, but I must say that in recent years (keep in mind I’m already 58, so it took me a while!) I’ve come to realize a few important things. True weight loss, and all other important life changes, only truly come about when I ask God into the situation, and revise my own thinking entirely. Everyone is different, but for me, I find that the more I try to control food and other situations, the tighter control the situations seem to have over me. I need to assess what practical action I can exercise every day, to make a lasting difference. If, by January 11, I haven’t yet lost 50 pounds (wink), then I’ll need to continue making changes into February and March, July and August; and as you can guess, to infinity and beyond, to look and feel better every day… well, certainly most days. Maturity has shown me there is no magical solution to anything, much less the flip of a calendar.

When I was young, I somehow perceived things as being “all about me.” Yes, it’s a narrow view and it’s certainly a natural human tendency, but as I grew in love and in relationships, I saw that’s not how things really work at all. A life filled with relationships such as marriage, children, grandchildren, friends, neighbors, and whoever else fills that bill, becomes quite wide. Many pieces (most pieces) of our lives follow us from December into January, follow us year after year, possibly even generation to generation. Much of what we live and work through has no expiration date at all! There are an ever-increasing number of life events I cannot quit after January 11, or ever.

I shared in a previous blog post (here’s the link) https://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2019/11/alzheimersdementia-long-goodbye.html that I have a loved one who entered a nursing home this past year. Moving from December to January did not (and will not) change that fact. My father is 97 years old, and though he’s doing well, things can change all-too quickly. My children's lives – their families and careers - are rapidly evolving, gathering steam, ebbing and flowing. Todd and I now have three grandchildren who are all growing into their own little people, trying out the world and all its offerings. As adults who’ve lived through, we know that some of their attempts will be good and some not-so-good. That’s life, but my mind does “go there” as I wonder about their futures. It's only natural, right?

Exciting times? Yes. Scary times? Ummm, about that… For me lately, it all boils down to this old saying I’ve been leaning into more and more often:

“One day at a time, sweet Jesus…”

On New Years Eve, when it came my turn to share any resolutions I might have for 2020, I left all ridiculous weight loss and similar ideas out in the cold. When I answered, I simply said, “Over the past few years, with God’s help, I’ve been attempting to ‘worry less and trust God more.’ I think I’ll continue doing that as I enter 2020.”

It’s as simple (or as difficult) as that. I’ve been putting everything from my personal weight loss efforts, to loved ones’ health realities, to relationship issues, into God’s capable hands, and watching how it all falls into place. Knowing I’m not alone in all of this has made me so much stronger. Realizing I don’t have control over anyone else, and can place all worry and burden into His hands, frees my thoughts and actions into doing only what I can (and should) do. I highly recommend this method.

Here’s to a new year, hopefully filled with lots of good things. But here’s also to a new year where we move with God’s help from December to January, and beyond!

God’s Blessings, Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – a Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”;  “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward”. Each is available as an electronic download as well as a paperback version. For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com  

#onedayatatime #trustGodmore #worryless #intheyear2020 #2020  

Happy Birthday in Saudi Arabia!

Hello Dear Readers!

I am writing to you with a full heart after enjoying a lovely Thanksgiving holiday with Todd, our children, their spouses, and our grandchildren. I always love the time we are able to share together - all of us in the same room together, since we live hundreds of miles apart. We take turns hosting, but this time we gathered at our daughter, Megan’s, home. She and her husband, Joe, and their two kids, Jacob and Annie, opened their home to all of us, and put out a beautiful Thanksgiving spread. Since it rained all day, we had no choice but to put on our “comfy pants,” light a fire in the fireplace, watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, along with a football game (or three), and feast. We had a really nice day together, as a family.

Our son, Tony, and his wife, Lesleigh, along with their son, Theo, had to leave the gathering early on Friday morning. They needed to drive back to Nashville (a nine-plus hour trip from Tulsa) so that Tony could report to the airport by noon on Saturday. For those of you who don’t know, “Tony Memmel and his Band” were invited to journey to Saudi Arabia on an Arts Envoy tour, which is in cooperation with the U.S. Department of State and its embassies and consulates. There, they will be meeting local youth and working in the differently-/disabled community. They are feeling joy-filled and thankful to have received the invitation, and couldn’t wait to represent our country as cultural ambassadors. They’ll be posting and sharing about their journey and all of the people they meet, on his website at: www.tonymemmel.com .  Please be sure to check for his updated blog posts regularly.

All of this is crazy timing because today, December 3, is Tony’s birthday! For those of you who’ve read my book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” you know how I felt 34 years ago on the day he was born. Todd and I had no “heads up” that our child would be born without his left forearm and hand. It came as a complete surprise to us in the delivery room.

I’ve openly discussed how worried I became, almost immediately. As a brand new mom of 24 years old, thoughts raced through my mind; thoughts that placed Tony far into his future. Would he ever crawl, play sports or music, have friends or be bullied, ever find love or get married? Yes, before he had a name on his birth certificate I’d negatively plotted out his entire life. Later that day, in my hospital room, I prayed to God to watch over our family, and our brand new baby son.

When I got home from the hospital, our pastor called, and asked if he could stop by for a visit. I didn’t want him to. Todd and I were not the “type of people” (whatever that means) who felt we needed counsel. Tony had been born without his forearm; we’d figure this out. But the pastor was so kind, and I figured his visit couldn’t hurt, and might even help. I finally consented that he could come.

That afternoon, he and I had a life-changing conversation. After listening to all of my initial worries about the things I feared Tony may never do, my pastor said to me, “Kate, God often takes what the world considers weakness, and turns it into strength.” Wow, I had never considered that God might use Tony’s arm for His greater good. Was it true? All I knew was that since Tony was only a week old, with God’s heavenly help, Todd and I had some important earthly work to do ourselves; we somehow needed to raise a strong, confident, independent young man.

My book spells out a number of struggles we faced, as well as so many joys along life’s way. As a fearful young mother, I had to learn to put any negative thoughts on the back burner, and focus on the job ahead. I still had sad feelings sometimes, but couldn’t let them win. The stronger I became, the stronger Tony became. By listening to Todd and me answer questions for him, he learned his own answers, and soon became his own spokesperson. Since he is now a traveling musician who shares his story publicly around the country and around the world, these were excellent skills for him to pick up!  

I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, but I’ll go ahead and ruin the surprise for you… yes, he crawled, yes, he played sports AND music, yes he had friends – more than we could count. To be honest, I think most of us face some bullying in our lives, but by instilling in Tony a way to use humor with the other kids, he suffered very little teasing. As for love and marriage… well, have you ever met my daughter-in-law, Lesleigh Memmel? She is the perfect woman for my son – beautiful inside and out. She’s smart, funny, compassionate, and a wonderful mother to their little one-year-old son, Theo. You can read more about Tony and Lesleigh’s love story in my second book, “From This Day Forward…” 

And so, when I think about Tony’s birthday, (he was actually born on a Tuesday, too!) and all of the initial frightened thoughts I experienced as a young mom… and then I think about how he’s in Saudi Arabia today, speaking and playing music for those in the differently- and disabled communities of that country, I think about my pastor’s words to me. I can boldly say that I do believe God has used Tony’s arm for His greater good. I do believe God took what the world (and what even I) considered weakness, and turned it into great strength!

I know I’ve shared this before, but it pertains once again. One of my favorite passages in scripture is Romans 8:28 (NIV). It says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Amen to that.

Happy Birthday, Tony!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes…”, “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”, and “From This Day Forward…” All are available in paperback as well as electronic versions. For more information about Katie, or to order a book, please visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com

Alzheimer's/Dementia - "The Long Goodbye"

It was a beautiful fall day here, in Waukesha, Wis. Though I had a lot on my mind, the gorgeous weather prompted me to pull on my Packers sweatshirt, and go outside to rake some leaves. As many writers will tell you, physical movement often jogs ideas to flow from within, and that morning’s chore did not disappoint.

Some of you have contacted me privately, and mentioned that you haven’t heard from me in a while. That is true. I guess I’ve been busy, possibly even consumed, with an issue that comes to many. Rather than remain silent, I’ve decided to share what’s been going on, and bring some light to a difficult situation. If someone who reads this is going through this too, maybe they won’t feel so alone after reading what I’ve got to say.

A loved one of mine has dementia, possibly even Alzheimer’s disease. Through trial and error, our family is making our way through… but it ain’t easy.   

Long before Facebook existed, and long before blogging was ever a thought, my mother suffered from Alzheimer’s. For years before there was any formal diagnosis of her condition, we began seeing personality changes and (what some might call) strange behaviors. She was only in her late 60’s at that time, which seemed way too young for us to even think about her having an “elderly issue” like Alzheimer’s… but we were wrong.

In the summer of 2000, my mom ended up in the hospital for Diabetic-related issues, but never went back home. Her confusion, which my dad had tried to skillfully hide, became evident to the doctors and nurses who cared for her. They said she needed more attention than my dad could any longer provide, and she was admitted to the memory care unit of a local nursing home. She was 72 years old.

My father became the main contact, and received all phone calls regarding my mom’s care. He made all of her decisions, and my siblings and I were simply there to support him/them. I thought my dad’s heart would break, seeing his sweetheart, his partner of more than fifty-plus years, in such a state. We scrambled to help him wherever we were needed. I mean, what does someone do, exactly? So… we simply showed up! Sometimes Mom slept through our visits at the nursing home, so the rest of us would just chat together. Sometimes she was sweet as pie and kind as could be. Those were good days. Sometimes she was the exact opposite. She lived there for 2 ½ years until one night in February of 2003, around midnight, she passed away. Though I’d been supportive throughout, I openly admit that I counted her passing as a blessing. It had been a rough few years, and I trusted in God’s promise that she was finally home. 

Fast forward now, 16 years. My mom’s sister is now being affected by the same disease. She’s much older than my mom was – already 93 years old – but otherwise in good health. Sadly, my aunt could not have children, and so our family, my three siblings and I, became closer to her than what might usually be the case. For 33 years, ever since her husband passed away in 1986, she has lived alone. She’s made her own decisions, paid her own bills, volunteered her time at a hospital - lived her own life. That’s all changed.

For a while now, we could tell she was becoming more forgetful, more repetitive with conversations. She admitted she couldn’t do everything by herself anymore. She still lived alone but with more assistance… until recently. See if this sounds familiar. Our aunt ended up in the hospital because of a fall, and will never go back home. Her confusion, which she skillfully hid, has become evident to the doctors and nurses who are caring for her. They said she needs more attention than her assisted living facility can provide, so she has been admitted to a local nursing home. That said, her mixed bouts of sweetness and kindness mingle with confusion, accusation, and sometimes even fury.

I can’t say this is surprising to our family, having lived through our mother’s situation, but it has definitely jolted us all into new mind sets. My brother and I, who consented to act as our aunt’s Powers of Attorney for Healthcare, are now the facility’s main contacts for her care. We receive all phone calls, day or night, regarding her care. We will make all of her medical decisions, while our dad and siblings, our spouses and children will be here to support us/her. Sometimes she sleeps through our visits, and we chat amongst ourselves. Sometimes she’s aware of what’s true, is sweet and kind as can be. Those are good days. Sometimes she’s the exact opposite.

As the youngest of my siblings, I find myself in an odd position. When my mother was going through all of this, I was in my early forties, raising young teens. Todd and the kids were my main priorities, so even though my mother was important to me, I had many other responsibilities as well. Now, I find my aunt to be at the center of many of my thoughts. I can’t help but wonder how she’ll fare, what’s next for her, and in reality, what’s next for us all?  

In the early 2000’s, as our family endured my mother’s illness, my dad often said how he leaned on his faith to get him through those difficult days. “Kate, what do people do who don’t have faith?” he’d ask. Though I’ve been trying hard not to, I find myself worrying sometimes. I know that none of us are promised tomorrow. I do have faith, and I want to trust God in all of this, so… why is it so difficult?

As Todd and I stood in church recently, singing along with the worship band, I thought about everything our family is going through right now. The songs brought me so much comfort. I thought about God as “the way” through, knowing he can (and has!) worked out every situation in our lives so far. He keeps his promises and never abandons us, while shining bright light into the darkest of places. That is what he does, and who he is! It made me think about one of my favorite passages in scripture, Romans 8:28 - “In all things, God works for the good of those who love him, and who have been called according to his purpose…”

Those words are so reassuring to me. We all experience difficult times, and God does bring us to the other side. Years ago, we watched our mother go through all of this, and are now watching my aunt. The familiarity of their similarity is both difficult for me to process, while oddly the same. Yes, my immediate human questions do arise as to how this will all play out. It doesn’t look as though our family will be experiencing a quick fix, but rather more of a journey. However, rather than simply plowing through the difficult, and quickly turning the page to the next thing, I’m looking for every ounce of good along the way. There’s no doubt in my mind this path will be packed full of lessons for us all. Will we, as siblings, grow closer? Will we find strength we never knew we had for something further down the road? None of us knows. But I do know this. I’m learning to truly trust God for it all.

Pray for us?

God’s Blessings, Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”; “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward…” For more information, or to order her books, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

#Alzheimer’sDisease #findtheblessing #lessonswelearn 

Reader's Rave Reviews - From This Day Forward...

Hello dear readers!

2019 is absolutely flying by, isn’t it?  I can’t believe it’s April already, and that Mother’s Day is only one month away. It makes me think back to last year at this time; my latest book, From This Day Forward… was in its final stages of editing, cover art, and ordering. Hopes were high, and so were my emotions. Very exciting!!!

Just to refresh your memory, I conducted eight interviews with individuals and couples who (through happy marriages) have lived, or are presently living out, their own real-life love stories. What do they do that works well? Did they ever veer off course? If not, why not? If yes, what did they do to get back on track?

These are folks of all ages. They range from one gentleman in his 90’s, two women in their 80’s, two couples in their 60’s, a 40’s, 30’s, and even a 20’s!

I want to make sure that everyone knows From This Day Forward… is available, and that it would make a wonderful gift for your mom, aunt, wife, daughter, or favorite woman, on that special day/weekend in May. Honestly, men will like it too!

It’s available through Amazon as either an electronic Kindle version, or as a beautiful paperback. Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=katie+kolberg+Memmel&ref=nb_sb_noss

You can also order copies of the book directly from me, and I can sign them for you. Just contact me personally through Facebook, or e-mail me at kkmemmel@gmail.com 

Those who’ve bought and read From This Day Forward…  seem to have really enjoyed it. Over the past 11 months, look at what some of my readers have had to say about it:

REVIEWS

In Chapter One alone, I cried FOUR times. What a wonderful love story. I love the format, and how Katie lets the story unfold so naturally. Her patience and intuition make it so unique and moving. Loved it!     Lauren G.

I read Chapter Eight first, and the tears just flowed. Such a beautiful story, and so wonderfully told. Katie, thank you for putting it down on paper to share with others. Your book will be a gift and a blessing to all who read it. I need another copy so that I can share it with my son and his fiancé.   Vicki T.

I’m loving Katie’s new book, From This Day Forward… She is such a gifted writer.   Laura G.

I loved Katie’s new book, especially since I know some of the couples she interviewed, personally. It was so fun to read about their love stories.        Shirley W.

The gentleman in Chapter One reminds me of my own grandpa. I’m really enjoying this book. Deb R.

I’m really enjoying From This Day Forward… except that I cry almost every day at lunch, while I’m reading it.    Ali C.

Katie’s new book is so well-written, I can almost hear her voice as I read along. I found that I could relate a piece of myself to each of the eight stories. The book has made me laugh, but there have also been parts where I’ve totally ‘lost it.’ Katie, be sure to thank the couples who participated in the interviews, for sharing their stories. Well done!    Sally W.

Katie’s new book, From This Day Forward… makes me smile, but has also made me cry – knowing what people go through with their spouse at the end of life, when death does them part. I guess that’s real life, for better or for worse. I need a second copy of the book for my son and his fiancé to read.    Cindy E.

I loved Katie’s new book. It offers a lot of good advice for newlyweds. I need a second copy for a wedding I’m planning to attend.    Nancy C.

I wasn’t very far into From This Day Forward… and I was already teary. The interview process must have been amazing. Well done, Katie!     Katie R.

I’ve loved all three of Katie’s books, and think she’s a great author. From This Day Forward… was wonderful, and so easy to read. It’s almost as though she is right here, talking with me. Barb K.

In From This Day Forward… Katie has such a charming way of relating the stories. It’s easy and interesting, yet thought-provoking. Her new book gets an A+ from me.

Beth D.

From This Day Forward… is such a beautiful read!    Robyn A.

Katie, who’s the guy in Chapter one? What a great storyteller!    Mike R.

I was so appreciative and humbled to receive these kind compliments, and am so thrilled that my readers are enjoying From This Day Forward...  Thank you to all of the contributors! 

Well, I guess that’s it for now. As always, thanks for checking in. I hope to hear from you soon, and hopefully get some of YOUR feedback about the book. Until then, 

Happy Reading!!!        #FromThisDayForward  #HappyMarriage  #ChristianMarriage  #IDo

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “From This Day Forward…”, “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”, and “Five Fingers, Ten Toes…”

For more information about Katie and her writing, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com   

Introducing (drum roll, please) Theo (and some other good stuff, too)

Greetings!

Here we are, post-holidays 2018, and already several months into 2019. When I sat down to write this blog post, I realized it’s been half-a-year since my last installment. Perhaps that gives you an idea of the kind of fall, winter, and (now) spring we’ve had.

I received a new calendar for Christmas, so in early January I sat down to transfer all of our family’s information – birthdays, anniversaries, highlights, etc. - to our new one. It was fun for me to look back through the past year, and remember some of the fun times we shared. I thought, why not share them on the blog, too?

For those of you who are connected to me via Facebook, you know that our family has a new addition. Tony (our son) and his wife (Lesleigh) found out last spring that they were expecting a baby. They could not have been happier or more excited. Throughout the entire pregnancy they avoided finding out the baby’s sex. They are (possibly) some of the last people on the planet who don’t wish to know this type of information, preferring to leave final verdicts as surprises.

In September, on one of Tony and Lesleigh’s trips back to Wisconsin, Lesleigh’s mom, sister, and I threw them a nice baby shower. Because we only had the one day to celebrate, both families, plus friends, all came together for one big party to celebrate “Baby M”, and shower Tony and Les with onesies and sleepers and diapers and strollers and… well, you name it. It was a special day, indeed.

Since none of us knew the day, time, sex, or potential name of the baby, it became a pretty exciting time for all of us. Every day, Todd and I would shrug and say, “Who knows… maybe it’ll be today…?”  In early November, Lesleigh gave birth to their SON. They named him Theodore Anthony Memmel; “Theo” for short. He weighed in at 8 lbs, 9 oz, and measured 20.5 inches long. All went well, and they could not be happier parents.

Joe, our son-in-law, needed to travel for work. We asked Megan if she and the kids would like to visit us during that time, so... ironically, Megan and her kids happened to be in Wisconsin when Lesleigh gave birth. It was so nice that we could all be "together," even though we weren't really all together. Tony and Lesleigh were in town when Megan gave birth to Jake, too. It was kind of a special time for us all, especially since they're all Godparents to each other's oldest children now.  

Lesleigh’s mom and dad were the first to visit/help the kids. Todd’s and my visit overlapped with theirs by a couple of days, so we all ended up celebrating Thanksgiving Day together. Lesleigh’s dad made a turkey feast, and we all “cheers-ed” (is that a word?), agreeing that our families had many blessings, and so much to be thankful for. 

Theo has been wide-eyed from the very beginning – very “alert.” He seems soulful, as though he often has much on his mind. Since he can’t yet talk, I guess we’ll have to wait and see if I’m right about that. In the meantime, he certainly has won all of our hearts.

Todd and I stayed for the weekend and helped the kids decorate for Christmas, but left early on Sunday morning to make the nine-hour trek back to Wisconsin. We had a lot to do! As some of you may recall, Annie Grace, our granddaughter, was born at the end of July. Our children spoke and decided to celebrate a double baptism for the babies, here in Wisconsin, on December 1^st. Megan and her family drove up from Tulsa, and Tony and Les drove up from Nashville. Tony asked a dear pastor friend of theirs to officiate, and the ceremony was held right here in our home. Joe’s, Lesleigh’s, and our family, along with some friends, all witnessed the most special day – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - a day filled with true joy, and God’s blessings.  

Throughout the fall semester, Tony had been contracted to work with the Madison Youth Choirs, so on December 8 and 9, they performed their concerts. Todd and I tag-teamed with Lesleigh’s mom and dad, and babysat for Theo so that the kids could perform, worry-free; that way, we could also each attend the alternate concert. Todd and I attended the Saturday night performance, which were all of the boys. It’s such a thrill for me to sit in the audience, and watch/listen as the impressive students sing and harmonize Tony’s music, bringing songs like “America to Go” and “Clenched Hands, Brave Demands” to new heights. On Sunday, Todd and I watched Theo in the auditorium’s “green room,” behind the stage. The live music was audible through speakers, so we technically heard the girls’ concert too. So much fun! Tony and Les hoped it might work out with Theo’s feedings that he make his debut, and meet some of their friends. Todd and I were happy to oblige, and took the baby to the lobby at the end of the concert for that purpose.

Over the course of the next week, we ended up purchasing a new (to us) car. Car shopping has changed considerably since 2009, which was the last time we actually bought. Browsing online certainly does save a lot of time. It’s also much easier to be sure you’re getting a price that’s “in the ballpark” of reasonable. We are now the proud owners of a 2016 GMC Acadia – charcoal color – 33,000 miles. It’s really (REALLY) nice, and has made a nice addition so far.

It was time for our attention to shift completely toward Christmas – shopping, wrapping, you name it. We spent Saturday (the 22^nd) packing up (to the ceiling!) our Acadia. Todd and I were able to attend an early Christmas service at our church that evening, then head home and give our gifts to each other. Early on Sunday morning (the 23^rd) we headed out for Nashville, where we’d all spend Christmas together at Tony and Lesleigh’s new house. Megan and her family arrived about five minutes after we did, and we all felt really excited to be there together.

One of my favorite parts of Christmas this year was when we all left the house, late in the afternoon on Christmas Eve, and attended church together as a family. We arrived early enough to secure seats for all nine of us: one set of grandparents, two sets of parents, a pre-schooler, and two infants. We sang some carols and heard a good message. I know this is going to be hard to believe, BUT… when we got back to the house, SANTA had come, and WOW! Was that ever exciting, as you can imagine!

As we opened gifts, the babies did their baby things: oooh’ed, cooo’ed, cried, ate, and slept. I must say it was pretty cool though when Todd and I gave Jake a Paw Patrol sweatshirt, and he wore it for the rest of the week. It’s a grandparent’s dream, isn’t it, that a child will like the clothing they’re given? Fun. The next day, as Tony and Lesleigh prepared a delicious Christmas meal, Tony pulled Jake aside and explained that Aunt Lesleigh had worked hard to make a nice dinner for us, and he would appreciate it if Jake would sit and eat nicely. The pep talk worked. The babies napped, and we all got to share good food and quiet conversation on the holiday. 

Some of you have traveled to Nashville, and have seen Tony perform in various clubs. Some of you have even waited on a Sunday night in that long line outside the Bluebird Cafe, hoping to make it through the door. But on December 27^th, Todd and I were able to attend a truly awesome event at the Bluebird – one that allowed us to walk right in, and get seated at a table. Tony was given the opportunity to host a show, and could ask three other musicians to join him on stage for a “writer’s round.” For me, it was a night to remember. Tony opened the evening, and then each writer took a turn, explained their song, and then sang. Each one probably performed four or five. The whole room was laughing at times, clapping, singing… To be honest, I could not wipe the smile from my face, it was so much fun! Plus, Todd bought me a new t-shirt to commemorate the experience!  

We drove home in time to spend New Year’s Eve with our usual group, but then shortly after that, I came down with a terrible cough. It really never was a “cold,” but man, did I cough… for a month! It was really obnoxious because I felt “okay,” but became hesitant to leave the house because the cough was so harsh. February was brutal. Oh man… we thought it would never end; between the snow, the below-zero temps, the torrential rains that ended up freezing, and created literal ice-rinks of everyone’s driveways and yards. So many people fell and broke bones. My dad actually took a few tumbles himself, but did not get hurt. We teased him, saying he must have angels on each shoulder, but seriously, he MUST! The whole thing became scary - unreal. So glad spring is springing!

So now, here we are! Tony and Lesleigh had more work here in Wisconsin, so they visited us last week (mid-March). Theo is growing into such a little doll. He’s so wide-eyed and curious, and has such a sweet smile. The only time that the big, beautiful, wide eyes become a problem is when it’s nap or bed time. Sleeeeep, Theo, Sleeeeep….! Haha… Anyway… Tony worked with middle school children for part of last week, and Todd and I were able to attend the concert. Theo had just been fed, and sat on Todd’s lap throughout the whole hour-plus event. He made one little noise, so Todd stood up with him in the back of the auditorium, but never had to leave. All I can say is that Theo seems to truly have music in his soul. It quiets him and holds his interest, even when he’s fussy. Lesleigh always said that the baby would “dance” in her womb. He’s a mover and a shaker to this day – no doubt about it.

Our family hopes to all reunite again around Easter. Annie will be nine months, Theo will be six, and Jake will be (almost) four years old!!! We’re so enjoying watching our family grow and change. Grandparenthood seems to be suiting us juuuust fine…

Well, that explains a bit about where I’ve been. I hope to share more posts soon. My goal is to not let so much time lapse next time. Sooo… until then,

God’s Blessings!

Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “From This Day Forward…” “Five Fingers, Ten Toes” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” To order her books, or for more information about her writing, visit her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com

      

You Are Enough

My Dear Readers…

Hello, and welcome to “Katie’s View.” You’ll be interested to know that today’s blog post is actually part of a writing contest. It’s hosted by “Positive Writer," and the theme is, “You Are Enough.” Here’s the link, in case you want to check it out:   http://positivewriter.com/writing-contest-you-are-enough 

“You Are Enough.” Hmm… I needed to give this topic a bit of thought. As most of you know, I am a 57-year-old woman, and in some ways, I’ve never felt more “enough” than I do right now, especially in regard to my writing. Why, at this time of life, do I feel that way? Have I always felt I was “enough”? Maybe most importantly, are you “enough”?

First, I’d like to say that I believe we all have it in us to be “enough” - you, her, and him, too. However, we don’t always believe it to be true of ourselves. There seem to be stages in our lives that no matter where we are, or what we’re doing, we poke holes in our self-worth, both as writers, and even more fundamentally, as human beings. We allow people’s opinions or critiques of us to measure our value. We begin to believe that nothing interesting has ever happened to us, we have nothing of consequence to contribute, and that nobody will ever be compelled to read anything we have to write.

When we are young and beautiful, we wish we were older, wiser, and more advanced. When we are older, we long for those youthful days we wished away. Every phase of life brings its own challenges. The good news is that each phase brings joy, too. No matter where we are in our personal journeys, we can be “enough.” Speaking from a writer’s perspective, those of us who write may be the best (or dare I say only) resource to relay certain pieces of life’s journey to the rest of the world. Really!

While I believe that we can be “enough” at all ages and stages, I don’t believe I saw my own full potential until I was in my late 40’s. Yes, I’d been (mostly) happily married for many years, and had successfully raised two great kids to adulthood. But during all of those years, I probably never elevated myself to an “enough” status. Somehow as I stepped back and watched the kids marry, leave home, and live on their own, I realized many pieces of my own life had come full circle… and it felt good - "enough" even.

Our home had become an empty nest, so I decided to do something for me. I signed up for a non-credit Creative Writing course at a local technical college. To say I felt a little nervous on my first day of school would be a gross understatement. However, I faced that fear, said a prayer, and marched myself through the hallways and into the classroom.   

As the weeks and months ticked by, I took on each new assignment. I had more to say than I’d ever dreamed possible. I’d kept a journal during junior high and high school, and have always had a good memory, but who’d have ever thought those old thoughts and notebooks could contribute to my starting a career in writing? Certainly not me.

I scribbled and typed. I signed up for the class again and again. As I wrote out snippets of my life story, it was becoming more than mere exercise; I was actually writing a book. I hadn’t set out to do it, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. The process required me to reminisce my life’s happiest moments, and wipe away tears of the most sad. It took me a couple of years, but by the time I’d tossed my last tissue, my book had a beginning, a middle, and an end. I felt so grateful. God had been so good, so faithful.  

Finally, at the age of 51, I self-published my first book: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” The benefits of writing and publishing it have been too numerous to count, but they begin with a new-found confidence, and unexplainable deep peace. When asked, I now speak publicly about my experiences. Beyond any and all expectations, the book has reached readers throughout the United States and many countries worldwide.  

I would never have been able to write this book without living through all of what life had to offer. The story wouldn’t have been complete when I was 25, 30, or even 40! I needed to be able to look back through accumulated knowledge, as well as develop a certain maturity. My story needed to come full circle.  

While youth is wonderful, and some young people find their writing stride early on, others of us need time to see what might come next. Sometimes stories need to be lived out to completion before they can be written. All I know for sure is that once mine was written, I’d never felt more “enough.” 

That’s me… now how about you? What’s holding you back from writing the story that’s inside of you? Are you ready to tell it? If not, are you ready to take a step? Maybe you could sign up for a class that would help you try. If you’re scared, please don’t let fear hold you back. Take the chance. Say what needs saying. Write what needs writing. You may be the only one who’ll ever be able to share what the world, or even one person, needs to hear. Think about it. When the time is right, you’ll be ready, and (more than) “enough”.

Have great days!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”; “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward…” For information about Katie, her family, and her writing, visit www.katiekolbergmemmel.com