Saying Good-Bye to My Dad

Hello Dear Readers! 

If you have been active on Facebook over the past month or so, you’ve likely read that our family endured some sadness recently. My dad, the guy who turned 100 years old last fall, passed away. Some folks reminded me, “Well, Katie, he was 100. He couldn’t live that much longer.” I know, I know… Of course they are right. I know they are right. Yet, when it comes to your own parent, your own father, it doesn’t feel quite that simple. 

My dad was sort of “one of a kind”, you know? After my mom passed, he lived alone for 20 years. He golfed pretty well until about three years ago when balance issues got the better of him. He was still driving his car at 99 - just short distances, mind you - but was still able to get around. Unless he was at work, he drank two beers a day for probably the last 80 years, solemnly swearing they aided in his good health. His blood pressure was still okay, his breathing and pulse rates were still okay. But then, back in February, he fell. Nothing would ever be the same for our dad – or any of us - again. 

He hit his head and developed a brain bleed. Just as its name suggests, his brain started to bleed and began clouding his everyday functions. At first, we thought he might recover - get some rehab and live another couple of years. My brothers, sister, and I tried for a few weeks, watching as things were possibly, slowly (like turtle-crawling-slowly), improving. However, about two weeks in, his progress stopped, and he seemed to reverse, and went downhill fast. 

A final CT scan showed that the bleed was spreading and taking with it his ability to stand, walk, feed himself, and more. There would be no more rehab. Hospice is what they recommended. Within two days, I was signing the paperwork. We knew the day we’d thought about was now inevitable. Our 100-year-old dad was going to die. 

At first, we watched his every move. “Is that normal? Does he always do that? Is he talking the same? Is he happy? Is he angry? Does he know what’s happening at all?” We didn’t know, but he didn’t pass. My siblings and I read two books about hospice care, and the information they provided made us see that indeed, some of his behaviors seemed like “end of life” signs. 

Early in the hospice process, during one of his brief moments of alertness, he told me, “Kate, I feel like something is happening to me.” I perked up, and encouraged him to continue. “I had a dream where I saw the Lord – not his face, of course, but it was him.” Intrigued, I told him it was okay if he needed to go, and actually told him to “walk toward the light”. But he said, “No, the Lord’s not ready for me yet.” 

Dad’s dream was so clear to him, like nothing had been since his fall, or ever was again. If the Lord wasn’t ready for him yet, then what was all of this about? There had to be another reason this was happening to him. I watched him closely for every possibility, but I don’t think I’ll ever truly know, at least on this side of Heaven. 

Another week began with us asking the same questions. Two weeks. Three. “Did we do the right thing by admitting him to hospice? Maybe the bleed will clear. Could he ever live alone again?” Oh, how naiive we were. Maybe, maybe, maybe… We kept wondering. Week four, week five. We didn’t know if we should get our hopes back up or leave them abandoned on the ground. It seemed as though every time we encountered something positive, the next day, afternoon, or hour, his situation changed again. Nothing was certain. No timeframe seemed to be present. Week six, week seven… visit after visit… holding his hand, saying good-bye. Sometimes he’d respond coherently, appropriately. Those were good days. Many times, we’d think it was the end. 

His pain became more and more evident - not just verbally saying so, which were some of the most heartbreaking sounds I’ve ever heard – but visually, too. Lines on his face, furrowed brow, clenched jaw, visible weight loss. By week eight, we seemed to have no more choice. It was time for heavier pain meds. With that, he seemed more restful, more at peace. Then finally, during week nine, the inevitable happened. 

It was a Friday morning, exactly three months to the day since his fall. Todd and I got up and started our morning routines, planning what time that day to go visit Dad. My cell phone rang, interrupting our schedule-making. It was a woman from Hospice. She explained to me that earlier that morning, my dad had passed away. I blinked, not knowing what to say. 

Even though I knew it was time, that it was best, that it was inevitable… I was still shocked. My brothers, sister, and I were now parentless, sort of like orphans - in their 60’s and 70’s, mind you, but orphans, nonetheless. I cried. 

My siblings and I cooperated pretty well, and planned a beautiful funeral. Ten years ago for Father’s Day, I had written a short essay for my dad about his and my relationship. Back then, he asked me if someday I’d read it at his funeral. I told him I would… so I did. Tony was able to come to town and sang/played guitar for the service – How Great Thou Art, Beautiful Savior, and Abide with me. My daughter and her family drove up from Tulsa, Oklahoma to say “good-bye” to their grampa. Dad would have loved it, had he been there. 

Our father was a retired fireman, so the city for which he’d served, provided him/us with an honor guard ceremony. As the visitation time began, about every 15 minutes, three guards ceremoniously rotated in and out of their post near where our dad lay, one of them always at attention, near him. I’d never seen that before. It was really cool… and emotional. 

Dad was a WWII vet, so he received a military honors burial, complete with the three gunshots. After they folded the flag that had draped his coffin, they handed it to me. Such a somber moment. My jaw quivered and my eyes misted. I swallowed hard, trying to be brave. Then, after 100 1/2 years of living, our dad was gone from this earth and out of our sight. 

He had been a Christian throughout his life. We know he is now at rest with the Lord. some of dad’s favorite scriptures are in John 14. There, the disciples are told that Jesus is going away to prepare a place for them. As much as we’ll miss our dad, we know he is now pain-free and perfect, living with the One who prepared his place. Oh, how that vision brings me peace. 

Three months doesn’t seem like a long time, yet it felt like an eternity. My siblings and I each had time to say what we wanted to say to our dad, even if he wasn’t always awake or comprehending. I hope they each took those precious moments and used them. I know I did. 

And so… we now move forward. Here I am, blogging about the experience, hoping that someone who is reading these words will know that they’re not alone - that our family has also endured something hard.  

That said, we do know our dad’s okay. Better than okay. Actually, he’s finally home. 

Both in good times and hard, I wish you God’s every blessing, 

Katie 

Katie Kolberg Memmel has written three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference” (Ten-year anniversary edition, now with photos); “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward…” All three are available through Amazon - paperback or Kindle edition. Visit her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com for more information about her, and for links to her books.

A Wonderful Wisconsin Whirlwind

Sooo… I had a new experience recently, and I wanted to share the details with all of you. 

I don’t know about you, but I’d never been to a birthday party for someone who was turning 100 years old. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever even met anyone who was in their 100’s. I know they have (or used to have…?) a segment on the Today Show for those entering that stage of life, but I didn’t know anyone personally… until now. 

My father turned 100 this week. My sister (Cheryl) and I started throwing around the idea of hosting a party for him, several months prior. We decided to make it a surprise, not so much to really “surprise him” exactly, but more because we thought he’d worry himself silly with negative scenarios of why we shouldn’t have a party, or how it might not work out because of… well…whatever his reason might be. 

Me, my siblings, and our spouses

She and I brainstormed potential dates, and then ran the idea past our brothers, who both thought it was a good one. The four of us decided we’d split the costs equally. We settled on Sunday, October 16^th, during the afternoon, and would incorporate the Green Bay Packers game into our day. Sure, the date we chose was two weeks before Dad’s actual birthday, but at the same time we didn’t want his big day to arrive, and then not have a party until much later. 

The guest list would consist of more than 50 people, including a fair amount of children. That’s a LOT of people to party with in a house. For that reason, I started making some inquiries about renting a room at a restaurant. We decided to use a local pub/eatery called “Club Paragon”. We’d attended parties there in the past, and agreed they’d done a nice job. 

I created a flier with all of the who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s, why’s and how’s. Cheryl addressed all of the envelopes and got them into the mail. RSVP’s started to roll in, and believe it or not, almost everyone could make it! Amazing! Initially, my daughter (Megan) and her family didn’t think they could come. Now that she’s a teacher in the public schools, taking off on school days didn’t seem like a real possibility for her. Two weeks before the party, she contacted me and asked if it was still possible for them to make the trek. She’d worked things out with her principal, and their family’s attendance could now be a “go”. “YES!” I said. “Of COURSE!” That news made me very happy. 

Theo, Jake and the cake

Cheryl, her husband (Jack), and I drove over to the venue, and met with the planner. She suggested some of their best party foods for our shindig: pizza, wings, pretzel bites with cheese, taco dip, a veggie tray… and also said that we could bring in our own cake. Cheryl and I thought that would be a good idea. She ordered (from Sendik’s) the most delicious chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. I often find that people merely tolerate big cakes, but this one was a hit! I took care of ordering helium-filled balloons and picked up the crepe paper and "Happy Birthday" signs. 

Cheryl also arranged for her son (John) to call our dad a few days before the party, and invite him to a little Packer gathering at his house the day of the event. John and his wife often host get-togethers of that nature, so it wouldn’t seem odd at all. My dad accepted. We had decided that if Dad called and said he didn’t feel up to it, or didn’t want to go, then we’d have to tell him about our scheme, but… that never happened! On the day of the party, Jack and Cheryl picked him up as though they were going to their son’s house. Little did Dad know that 50 guests awaited his arrival at his 100^th birthday surprise party. 

Dad arriving at the party - Tony opens the door

Cheryl texted me when they were a few minutes away. I asked everyone in the room to grow quiet, thinking it might be best to not shock our “dear old daddy” by shouting. The room we rented had its own entrance door, so when the trio arrived, they simply needed to ask him to get out of the car. He didn’t know why, but he did it willingly. My son, Tony, pushed open the door for him, and he said he didn’t understand why Tony was at John’s party. Once he got his bearings, we sang “Happy Birthday”. He was honestly sooo surprised. 

Grandkids, their spouses, and great grandchildren

Most of us had tears in our eyes watching him say hello to his grandkids, his great grandkids, and other extended family members he hadn’t seen in a couple of years, mostly due to the pandemic. It was truly a blessed reunion. We got him seated, and people started to file by to talk with him, kind of like visiting Santa! 

As you know, both of my own children and their families live out of town, and both families drove up. Tony, Lesleigh (who is very pregnant) and Theo live near Nashville, Tennessee. Megan, Joe, Jake and Annie live near Tulsa, Oklahoma. One of my brother’s kids flew up for the weekend from Florida. Some live near Sheboygan, some near Madison. Only one grandson couldn’t make it, but his 15-year old daughter attended. It was a blessed reunion that day, all of us celebrating his 100 years of life. 

About a month before the party, one of my nieces volunteered to make a slide show of Grampa’s life. Most of us contributed photos we’d taken through the many years. Some of the shots included my mom (of course) and overall, it was so moving to watch his life reeling past. So many good times. 

Our family with my dad

Everyone ate, drank, and conversed, catching up with our dad, and also with each other. I had such a good time, I almost hated to see the day end… but of course it had to. Thankfully, both of our kids were staying with Todd and me, so our family was able to go back to our house and de-brief about the fun day we’d all just experienced. On Monday morning, both families were up at the crack of dawn, and heading back to their homes. The weekend was such a whirlwind – a wonderful Wisconsin whirlwind! 

On our dad’s actual birthday, a few of us got together for a small luncheon. The weather was so spectacular (a rare 70-degree November day) that we sat outside in the yard. As we ate subs, chips, pickles, and cake, we bantered about past family vacations, times spent up north at the cottage, good old days when Mom was still alive, and other special topics. Most importantly, we toasted to our dad’s past 100 years, and wished him another 100! (LOL)

Celebrating at dad's on his big day

All of those years have created quite a legacy: four children (all with spouses) nine grandchildren (most are married) and 11 great grandchildren (one more to arrive soon!)  Plus, the family is still growing!

Dad has shared so many stories about his upbringing, his youth, his army/WWII years, dating our mom, and becoming a father. He even participated in my book, “From This Day Forward…” You can read his story there! He’s experienced most of what the world could throw at him. He had to quit school to help out his family, but he’s smart and well-read. He deeply cares about our government, so I took him to “early vote” this week; that way he wouldn’t have to fight the crowd next Tuesday. He knew exactly who he wanted “in”. He’s wise. He still cares. And one of his biggest fears is that something will happen to one of us before he passes. He feels that would be way out of order. But… mostly… he trusts in God and knows that all of that is out of his control. He takes things as they come – one day at a time.

And so, I simply wanted to share with you what we’ve been experiencing here over the past months, weeks, and days. Watching our dad approach, and now reach 100, somehow feels like “a goal” we’ve reached; not by anything we actually did, but just that it happened in general. He’s a special guy and this is a very special feeling. 

As always, thanks for reading! 

God's Blessings, 

Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes: A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born With a Limb Difference”; “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward…” All are available in paperback as well as electronic versions. For more information, visit her website at www.KatieKolbergMemmel.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Announcement: Katie's New Project

 Hello Dear Readers!!! 

Yes, it has been a while since I posted last, but that is not because I’ve been lounging about, not working! No, sir!!! On the contrary, I have an amazing new project to share with you, and I hope you’re going to love it. 

Can you believe that it has been a whole decade since I released my first book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes… A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born With a Limb Difference”? I took a chance back then, openly sharing my experiences of raising my son (Tony Memmel) who was born without his left forearm and hand. I can honestly say that things have gone very well, and that “Five Fingers…” has reached people all over the world. That fact is so incredibly humbling… It has always been a dream of mine to add photos to the story. All those years ago, I had so many pictures in my photo albums that I referred to as I wrote, that helped me to chronicle that part of my/our life. 

After releasing two other books, I finally reached the point where I had some time. I took a chance and did the hard work. It took me a long time to go through all of the photos, and decide which ones were “the ones” to add – the most special, the most telling/revealing. BUT… I’ve done it! “Five Fingers, Ten Toes…” will soon be printed with over 100 photos of my family’s, especially Tony’s, life! 

Presently, I am in the “Proof” stage, waiting to make sure the book’s layout is right and that everything is as I dreamed it would be. The book (paperback only at this time) should be available via Amazon in the next month or so. I will also be ordering copies for myself so that I can sign and mail/deliver them to all who are interested.  

In my opinion, these photos have given so much life to my words. I’ve shared with you before how I felt as I wrote the first book; how there were days I’d sit here typing, laughing like crazy… or... crying my eyes out. Honestly, I did the same thing this time as I clicked “insert” on each of these special snapshots - 110 to be exact - including the new image on the book's cover! 

Another awesome addition to this second edition is that Tony personally wrote the book’s “Foreword”. In it, he describes some of his own experiences over the ten years since “Five Fingers…” was released. He writes about what he’s heard from people while he’s out on the road sharing his own music and story. Talk about bringing a tear to my eye… You’ll see! 

So keep your ears open and your eyes peeled for the near future when I make the big announcement. I’m very excited to release this new project. It is my hope and prayer that all who read my new version will benefit greatly. As the old adage says, “A picture paints a thousand words.” Believe me when I say, that has been my own experience, too. 

God’s Blessings, 

Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: "Five Fingers Ten Toes... A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born With a Limb Difference"; "Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff"; and "From This Day Forward - Eight True Love Stories Shared Through Interviews". For more information, visit Katie's website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com  

#TonyMemmel  #FiveFingersTenToes  #Apicturepaintsathousandwords  

The Blessings and Benefits of 40 Years of Marriage

Dating, October, 1980

As often happens in life, 40 years have flown by and snuck up on us. On this day, September 19, 2021, Todd and I are celebrating our 40^th wedding anniversary. Huh? What? That can’t be right…! Yet as I count them off, 40 years do, indeed, compute. 

I remember our wedding day very well. The weather was flawless – 70 degrees, blue sky, light breeze. I had just turned 20, three weeks prior, and he would turn 21 in October. Both sets of our parents approved. They’d also married fairly young, so it didn’t seem crazy or too young or any of the adjectives we might use today, in 2021. We both had direction and were both employed. Yes, marriage seemed like our proper next step.  

Wedding Day - September 19, 1981

While dating, we both lived in our individual family’s homes. About a month before the wedding, Todd moved into the apartment we decided to rent, and our forever-scenario became so much more real. We cleaned the place nd shopped for things we’d need. Family and friends threw us wedding showers, and our new digs started to fill up with pots and pans, dishes, sheets and towels, and other marital gear. The first night I spent in the apartment was on our wedding night. True story! 

Never having lived anywhere else, I had some adjustments to make. Todd’s family had moved several times during his life, but I’d been born and raised in the same house. Fun Fact: My dad still lives there all these years later. Those first weeks and months of marriage were fun, but also sort of strange. Cooking every dinner, washing all our own clothes… everything we did or didn’t do was now up to us. We didn’t have to report in to anyone (except each other) or account for any action - positive or negative. 

Both of us worked full-time, Monday thru Friday, so one of our favorite things to do was to sit around on Saturdays, watching cartoons and early-afternoon mystery thrillers. After that, we’d often go to a $1.00 matinee movie (before 5:00 p.m). The buffet restaurant, Ponderosa, ran good specials, so we’d usually head over there to load up on low-budget steak, baked potatoes, and a whole lotta salad bar. Most Saturday nights were spent watching “Love Boat” and “Fantasy Island”. Who can relate??? From early-on in our relationship, God was important to us, so we usually attended church on Sunday mornings. Our apartment had a little balcony off of our living room, so later in the day, Todd would often grill something (whatever had been on sale that week) on our brand new “Smoky Joe”, acquired at one of my Bridal showers.

So, I must be honest. We also (unfortunately) had our share of arguments. I think about that now, knowing how paper-thin apartment walls can be. Apparently, back in those days, we were either unaware of, or simply didn’t care, what we sounded like. Many of our “discussions” centered around our families, friends, time, and ultimately (yes, you guessed it) money.

Within three months of us saying “I do”, Todd received his first lay-off notice. It seemed devastating at the time, and we were unsure of how he’d ever finish his Sheet Metal Apprenticeship. But he started taking night school courses to better his chances of getting hired. Obtaining his welding certification clinched employment for him during that difficult 1982/1983 recession job market. He definitely learned that he didn’t want to go through his life without a job. If you know anything about Todd today, you know how hard he works. Honestly, he works too hard, which has also been a subject of many heated “discussions”. Ah, life takes much balance… Anyway, these early lay-off lessons have stuck with him (or should I say “haunted” him?) all of these years.

By the summer of 1983, we were able to save enough money to make a down-payment on an older home that needed some TLC. What a feeling! We felt like royalty after we closed on the place. Gone was our Saturday TV watching, and enter, home fixer-upper projects. Both of our kids were born while we lived in that house. Even though we eventually built a house and moved, we cherish many memories from those early years. I wrote about many of these experiences in my first book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”.

I’ll say this… While life wasn’t always easy, Todd and I took our marriage vows seriously. My parents had made it clear that unless there was a REAL problem, there’d be no “sleeping at their house” because we had a fight. For that reason, I can honestly say we have never spent a night apart because we were mad. Sure, there were times we each clung tightly to our own side of the bed, or even occasionally (rarely) slept on the couch. But most disputes were settled fairly quickly through talking and apologies, and promises to try harder and do better. Saying “I love you” (and meaning it) is also an absolute necessity.

Todd’s mom had a theory. I can still envision her sitting across the table from me, making the shape of a diamond with her hands. She’d say, “Kate, marriage is like a diamond. It starts out small, with just the two of you. At the middle, while you’re raising your kids, you’ll feel stretched about as far as you think you can go. Don’t cash in though! Eventually, the kids leave home, and it’s just the two of you again, and Kate, those are good years.” She’d nod. I’d nod. I guess I believed her because here we are!

Our son and his family (Tony, Lesleigh and Theo) live in Tennessee. They travel all over the world sharing music and ministry. Though almost 600 miles divide us, we find ways to see each other and be together. When we do, it’s a joy. Our daughter’s family (Megan, Joe, Jake and Annie) live near Tulsa, Oklahoma, about 800 miles from us. Face Time and phone calls keep our feet in the door of our grandkids’ lives. We all do what we can to be in the same room with each other several times per year.

One early Sunday morning, as Todd and I drove home after spending a long weekend with our family, a thought occurred to me, which I want to share with you. Both of us know every piece of our history. We were there, together, for everything – job joys and difficulties; health issues; the buying and building of houses; the births of our own children; deaths of parents, grandparents, and loved ones; challenges of child rearing, especially through sassy teen years; family vacations; the joy of the kids’ confirmation days; attending band concerts and marching band field shows; choir concerts and musical “gigs”; baseball and soccer matches too numerous to count; both kids going off to college; their graduation days; two joy-filled weddings; and the births of three grandchildren. Todd and I have both had front-row seats to living it all - some fantastic, some mediocre, some downright challenging – but having lived it together, we both “get it”.

Mackinac Island, Summer of 2021

When I think about those occasional long nights of disagreements, I give thanks to God that the situations have always been fixable and that common ground was found. I’m grateful neither of us ever marched into a lawyer’s office and asked for a divorce. I know that sometimes that is a necessary step to take, but I’m glad we have been able to somehow compromise and work things out.

None of us ever knows what lies ahead, but I pray we will continue down the path we’re on for years to come. We share so many memories – 40+ years worth! All I can say is that these are the blessings and benefits to a long marriage… and I am grateful.

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”, “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”, and “From This Day Forward…” They are all available through Amazon in electronic and paperback versions. 

A Boating Adventure (With Some Nice Surprises!) - Mackinac Island - Part 3

 

Thank you for reading Parts 1 and 2 of my Mackinac Island posts. If you missed them, here are the links so you can catch up. 

Part 1: https://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2021/08/a-boating-adventure-mackinac-island.html

Part 2: https://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2021/08/a-boating-adventure-with-some.html

Now you’re ready for Part 3…

Beautiful distant view of the Steeple at St. Anne's Catholic Church

Last I wrote, I mentioned wanting to go back up to Fort Mackinac to see what life had been like for the military and their families, as far back as the late 1700’s and early 1800’s. My challenge was that it was waaaay up on a bluff, and I thought that the climb might kill me (ok, that’s a little overly dramatic, but you know what I’m saying).

Interestingly enough, after my shower the next morning, I saw a woman walking ahead of me on the dock, using a cane. It was pretty early, and she was in the marina, so I figured she was probably a boater. I decided to catch up to her, and take a chance by asking her a few questions. She looked to be around my age, so I said, “Hi there… do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?” She said she didn’t mind, so I proceeded. “I’ve been having some pain in my legs, and I see that you are using a cane. Are you a boater, and if so, how does it work for you, having leg issues?” She explained that many years ago, she’d been diagnosed with MS. On hearing that news, her husband told her "If you have MS, I have MS. We’ll figure things out together." By this point, I was already teary, but she continued. She pointed out their boat, which was quite large. She explained that they both have jobs that they can work from remote locations. They sold their house, their cars, and are in the middle of boating “The Great Loop”. (That is a trip boaters often discuss. It takes you south through the Illinois River to where it meets the Mississippi, then south and into the Gulf of Mexico, across to Florida, then up along the East Coast, through the St. Lawrence Seaway, and back to the Great Lakes, whatever your home port. They were presently on Day 65). She explained that even though she walks slowly, she fully participates with the boat and all that needs doing. She was on her way to breakfast, so I thanked her and wished her well as she walked to the nearby restaurant. She had no idea how her story enhanced my day. 

Todd and I had seen an island advertisement for a “Taxi Service” that would take visitors wherever they wanted to go. He called and asked for one to meet us in front of the marina, and they said they’d be there in 15 minutes. Perfect! The horse-drawn taxi paraded up to us right on time. I asked our driver what it would cost for her to take us up to the fort. She answered, “Seven dollars per person.” Wow, fourteen dollars( plus a good tip, of course…) She had no idea how this low price for this simple ride would carry us through this day. I brought my cane this time, and used it to climb up into the carriage. She drove us back up past the Grand Hotel, and past the farm where we’d stopped the day before. She chatted with us all the way, and answered some of our questions, much more personal than our ride the previous day. It was just the three of us, out enjoying the quiet morning - our own private tour, really! After about 30 minutes, we reached the fort and feeling relaxed, I felt ready to start our day there. 

We bought tickets to go in, and as we paid, the ladies in front of us asked if we’d ever been there before. I said, “No, it’s our first time.” They said, “You must MUST eat lunch at the restaurant!” Restaurant? We had no idea there was a restaurant. We nodded and said we’d look into it. Todd and I walked around for a while, taking in how the fort dwellers lived years ago – medical facilities, the kids' school rooms, their living rooms, kitchens, even bathrooms! There was also a jail cell, ready for anyone disobeying fort laws. 

About mid-way through our walk, we found the restaurant – a long, narrow pathway, filled with umbrella tables, boasting one of the most beautiful views you can imagine. We looked at each other and nodded, The ladies were right… we need to eat here! We asked for a table for two, and the hostess led us to the middle of the tables, with the perfect view overlooking the water. Our waiter was so kind, he took the picture you see here, even encouraged us to hold hands ;)  It was fun. The food was delicious, and I must say that this little trip up to the fort was probably my favorite activity we did on vacation. No kidding. It was so unexpected and so special. A day I’ll never forget. 

After lunch, we finished walking around, then began our slow steep descent back to town. There were folks walking up the pathway, and we encouraged them to keep going. Little did they know we’d taken a taxi up… As part of our admission that day, we could get into a few attractions back in town for free. We stopped at the blacksmith shop and watched him work. As a Sheet Metal Worker, Todd enjoys watching that process. We also shopped around in a few stores, and found our yearly Christmas ornament. (We like to get one from each new place we go.) By the time we got back to the boats it was after 3:30. Everyone was going to dinner together at 5:00, so our taxi ride and fort tour had taken up our whole day. I was pretty tired, so I embraced that hour to simply sit down for a while, which felt good.

One of the restaurant owners in town had given his business card to our friend, promising that if we could eat an early dinner, he’d be able to get our whole party in to sit together. That’s not an offer our group gets very often, especially for a Friday night! (And especially since we had 15, total!) But everything was ready for us when we arrived. I don’t say this very often, but everything was delicious! Some ordered appetizers, some ordered special drinks, and all ordered dinners (including large fish fries, which we, Wisconsinites, love!). It was all so good. Mostly, I enjoyed sitting back, watching everyone eating, drinking and laughing together. Good for the soul! 

We walked back to the boats, where some of the women wanted to go for a bike ride.  One family decided to do the “Haunted Mackinac Walking Tour”. While that idea intrigued me, things like that also kind of scare me. Is that funny? I mean, years ago, I read Stephen King on a regular basis. Amityville Horror? No problem! Nothing about any of that bothered me. But…as I’ve gotten older (and wiser?) I’m not so sure about some of that anymore. Let’s just say I leave it for others to “enjoy” and Todd and I do other things. For example, the remaining group walked to the end of Main Street and saw the bridge all lit up in the dark. I took some pictures, but they don’t do the scene justice. It was much prettier in person. When we got back, we were just about ready to turn in for the night when our friends returned from their haunted tour. I won’t give you all the details because some day you might want to visit for yourselves, BUT I will give one.  Many many moons ago, when those who lived at “the fort” needed to grow food, bones from the burial ground were unearthed, and supposedly tossed into the water… yes, the water (the marina) in which we’d been staying. Yikes! I’m not sure I wanted (or needed) to know such a detail. Let’s just say it was running through my mind that night as I fell, rather tried to fall, asleep. Twilight Zone music plays… 

ANYway, it rained that night, and most of the next morning. Around noon, the sky looked a bit brighter, so Todd and I ventured out from our boat, and walked into town. We’d heard about a very small restaurant that’s difficult to get into because it’s so popular. “The Chuckwagon” was not as busy as predicted, probably because it had been raining, and people didn’t want to wait outside on the sidewalk to get in. All of the tables were taken except one table-for-two. Perfect! That’s all we need! We’d heard that the burgers are second-to-none, so we ordered a couple of diet Cokes, a cheeseburger, and fries to share. It was fun to sit there, enjoying “the joint’s” atmosphere – very narrow, like a small New York diner; a lunch counter, behind which the cooks worked fast and furiously, producing their magic. Maybe ten tables in all…? It operated like a well-oiled machine. I was so excited we got that opportunity. Afterward, we walked around, did a little shopping, and even stopped to get a beer. All that exercise can make a girl thirsty, am I right? 

When we’re on vacation, we don’t always go to church; mostly, we watch a service online. But our friends had decided to walk a block down, and attend Saturday mass at St. Anne’s – the oldest church on the island. It sounded like an opportunity too awesome to miss, so we asked if we could tag along. It had been remodeled (probably many times) but still had very old features, such as narrow wooden pews and kneelers. The priest hailed from Ghana, and I loved listening to him read Jesus’ words with his beautiful accent. There was no piano or organ, so we simply sang “How Great Thou Art” unaccompanied. We are not Catholic, but Todd was raised with that background. It’s amazing to me that no matter where you attend Catholic church, whether for a Sunday, a wedding, or a funeral; the format - the liturgies and the responses - are always the same. Todd picked up as though he’d never left. Fascinating… 

After church, four of us decided to go out to dinner for our last night on the island. We picked “The Pink Pony” which had a good reputation for excellent food. We checked in, and found out we’d have to wait an hour. Conveniently, there were four open seats at the bar. From our perch, the bay and marina were right there for our viewing pleasure. With good conversation, time flew by quickly and soon we were led to our table for four. Everyone enjoyed their dinners. I’m not kidding. The food we ate in Michigan was so delicious. I’m not sure why that is, but it’s so good! I’d give it an eleven out of ten!  

We got back to the marina around 9:00, just as darkness was settling in. We’d just started chatting with our friends, when all of a sudden, something happened. I didn’t know what at first, but one of our friends sprang up and ran into the action. She saw that a woman had fallen into the water between the boat and the dock (a dangerous place to be). More people began to rush over and started calling out their own ideas... but our friend was already at work. She hopped onto the boat’s swim platform and began calmly talking to the woman, making room for her to come around the back of the boat, offering her hand, and getting the ladder ready, guiding her along to finally climb out. The woman was shook up, but was following our friend’s clear instructions. The woman (with help) was able to get up out of the water, and our friend calmly left the scene, but it had really been something to witness. She doesn’t think she did anything heroic, as "heroes" never do... but I see it differently, and want her to know that her quick response likely made all the difference that night. I’m so glad there are people like her in the world… 

On that note, I’ll stop. I have two more legs of our journey that I want to share with you, but I’ll save it for another post or two. I hope you all have a great week. Talk with you again soon. 

 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”; “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward…” All are available in paperback and electronic versions, through Amazon.

A Boating Adventure (with Some Challenges) - Mackinac Island, Part 2

Thank you for reading Part 1 of my Mackinac Island post. If you missed it, here’s the link so you can catch up.  

https://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2021/08/a-boating-adventure-mackinac-island.html   Now you’re ready for Part 2:

The view from the "lookout" on our tour - so beautiful!

On the afternoon we arrived in Michigan, the weather felt like perfection. We’d left Wisconsin in the morning to a predicted 90+ degree day, but the further north we traveled, the more the temperature dropped. We were standing on our boat in the marina, staring up at a brand new port-of-call. The sky was blue; we had late-afternoon sun, and 80 degrees. Who could ask for more? 

First, Todd and I got organized. We put up our “camper canvas” for the night (canvas and screens that snap and zip into place, sheltering us from bugs and weather). We plugged in our “shorepower”, (an electrical cord which connects our boat to electricity on land. It provides us the ability to use our refrigerator, microwave, outlets, lights, etc.) After trailering almost 400 miles, the boat could probably have used a good washing; instead, we poured ourselves a drink and headed down the dock to converse with our friends. A little dirt could wait, right? We all had stories to share of our trips thus far. Priorities!

As we chatted, one of our friends leaned over, and knowing that Todd and I had never visited the island before, shared a few special memories of times he’d spent there in the past. He said that when he was young his parents had brought him there for a vacation, and that through the years, he’d come to think of Mackinac Island as his “happy place”, his “Disney World”. His comments made me smile. I was glad he told me those things because it made me view the vacation differently somehow. Knowing how beloved a place it was/is for others, created a need in me to see it all for myself. 

Even with all of the tourists who ferry out to Mackinac Island, it’s still a quiet town. No motorized vehicles are allowed -- no cars, no motorcycles, no trains. Golf carts are allowed on the golf courses, but cannot be driven elsewhere. History says that back in 1898 (yes, you’re reading that date correctly), a car engine backfired and scared some of the horses. After that, a law was made that no motorized vehicles would be allowed on the island. In 2021, that law still stands. With no gas-powered or electric taxis or buses, it’s interesting to watch visitors who are staying over night roll their suitcases down the sidewalks toward their lodging locations. Some have their baggage transported to hotels by bellmen on bicycles, who somehow stack and pile the bags, holding them as they ride. These crazy drivers reminded me of Dr. Seuss characters … can you picture? Anyway, the only real sounds you hear on the island are the clippity-clop of the horses’ hooves, the occasional barking dog, or ringing bicycle bells. From high above the town, Fort Mackinac uses recordings of Reveille and TAPS to begin and end the days. They also shoot off cannons a few times each day, to demonstrate what it was like during the War of 1812. Mostly, you hear the voices of people talking, laughing… vacationing. Believe me, it’s easy to get used to!

Everyone ate dinner in their boats that night, and then we made our first hike into town (only a block or two from the marina). It resembled other touristy bergs we’ve visited. Of course there were bars and restaurants, T-shirt and souvenir shops, places to rent bicycles… but what stood out to me the most, was the overwhelming smell of popcorn, candy, and fudge. Often it was plain chocolate, but we also experienced mint, vanilla, and caramel. Workers poured the warm fudge out to cool onto long marble tables. They work it and toss it, shoveling it, fashioning it into long strips, which they then cut into slabs and store in their display cases. Maybe it’s fun for them when large groups of tourists (like us) stop to watch their process. Some of the fudge-makers get fancy with their maneuvers; busting out into dance moves while flipping the fudge with such skill, nothing fell to the ground. They looked like they were having fun. We were! 

Main Street’s shops were closing down, and it was dark when we got back to the marina. Our group stopped to talk, but it wasn’t long until we felt some rain drops falling. Everyone said good-night, and headed back to their boats. I really love it when it rains at night on the boat, especially lightly so that we can hear the rain plop against the fiberglass, yet we can still keep our windows open. That night was a perfect combination, and we fell asleep feeling tired and satisfied. 

Todd and I usually get up around the same time in the morning, and head to the showers. (Marinas usually have restrooms and showers for their patrons. We do have a bathroom in our boat, but our general rule-of-thumb is that it’s mostly for night-time or emergency use.) Whoever arrives back to the boat first, starts the coffee and gets our mugs ready. As we sip our brew, we look out and enjoy the view from the back of our boat. Whether the sun is rising or rain is falling, we breathe deep and simply enjoy the quiet. Before you know it, the marina comes to life and the new day takes shape. People start walking around, talking, washing their boats, cooking their breakfasts (often, the smell of frying bacon will get your stomach a-growlin’). Honestly, mornings are one of my favorite parts of a boat trip.

Most of our friends had decided to meet up at 9:30 a.m. for a bike ride around the island. It’s usually an eight-mile trek, but parts of the path were under construction due to flooding, so the route was modified and included many more hills. Most had brought their own bikes from home, and placed this activity as a priority, a main attraction, for their days. But… something I haven’t shared much about is that I’ve been having some trouble walking. Back in 2018, I found out I have arthritis in my right knee and my left hip, which obviously affects both my right and left sides. This makes my legs hurt like h*ck, and sometimes feel weak. The medication I was on interfered with my stomach, so I needed to stop taking it. I’m “okay” when I’m at home, but I was unsure how a vacation of this nature might take shape. With all of the walking, I felt quite challenged. My ability to “get around” was going to take some creativity. 

While I didn’t foresee myself riding up and down major hills, I did think that biking could be an answer to my “not walking”. We decided to check out how renting a bike might work. Conveniently, there was a rental station directly across from the marina, so Todd and I went over to see the fees. I want to point out that I had not ridden a bicycle since (I believe) 1998. I knew it might be a challenge, but was willing to try. You could rent bicycles-built-for-two (which have weight limits). They had adult tricycles (Hmmm…) They had professional bikes with 20-some speeds. They had bikes with tires as fat as my hand is wide! In the end, we settled for a couple of traditional-looking models with five speeds. My water bottle fit nicely into the basket they provided. The bikes would cost $12.00/hour each, and you didn’t have to commit to a time frame, rather they’d pro-rate the hours as you spent time riding. Sounds reasonable! 

There were a lot (a LOT) of people out riding bikes on the road that day, my friends. After some weebling and a little wobbling, I started to pedal pretty well. Todd is the kind of guy who follows behind a group so that he can make sure things are in order. From his vantage point, he began shouting out shifting instructions, to make my ride “easier”. I was concentrating on trying to shift with my right hand, when from my left side, some of our friends whizzed past, asking how we were doing. While trying to call out over my shoulder, I lost my balance and my bike veered off the road, almost into a garden. Thank goodness there was a low fence that caught my front tire enough to slow me down. I didn’t fall, which could have been catastrophic. I was able to re-group; I ran my hand through my hair, and acted as though I’d meant to stop that way. Doesn’t everyone stop that way? Up ahead, I saw that the road began to narrow. I decided that for me, at that important biking juncture, “wide” would be better than “narrow”. We stopped at a beautiful beach, then turned around and headed back to town. We passed by the bike rental station like pros, and I headed towards the main drag. Things were going well! My bike was back in a comfortable gear, and I was holding steady.

The street was very busy with horse-drawn carriages, bicycles dodging in and out, and shoppers jay-walking. Now, I’ve got to ask you… what are some people thinking when they step from the safety of the curb, eyes down, studying their phones, and step directly into the path of a middle-aged woman riding a bike for the first time in 20-plus years? Wow! Note to self: Don’t ever do that. Yes, it racked my nerves, BUT I did okay. I kept going. I had to brake a few times, and catch myself with my feet, but overall, I pedaled all the way down Main, and rounded the corner. We stopped at a grassy area when we caught sight of the bridge. Wow, the morning had felt like an accomplishment, no kidding! No kidding at all. Success! Feeling satisfied, we pedaled back through town and returned our bikes. 

For our afternoon, we decided to book a horse-drawn carriage tour. We found out there were a variety of choices such as smaller private tours, or rides where you are your own driver (no, thank you). But having never been there before, I wanted to have a guide tell us all about the island. Though we shared our tour with other visitors, I feel we got a lot of bang for our buck (or $60, actually). We left Main Street, then clip-clopped up the next street, which was more representative of the town’s business – post office, doctor’s office, police/fire, etc. The driver took us past the Grand Hotel, which is lovely with its manicured green lawn and hedges, colorful gardens, and bright white porch and exterior. From there, we were shown the farm where some of the horses are kept. We got off the carriage there, and were able to walk around and browse the blacksmith shop, old restored carriages, and the barns. 

When ready, we got onto another tour which continued through the Mackinac National Forest (second national park after Yellowstone). Our second driver had that little extra “something” that really good tour guides have – humor! He showed us the cemeteries on the island and how, even in death, the Catholics and the Protestants are separated. Silly. He stopped and let us out at a beautiful lookout point so we could take pictures, then completed our tour by dropping us off at the very top of the hill near “Fort Mackinac”. The horses cannot walk down a steep incline like that, so he’d wind down another way. I’m sure we could have stayed with him if needed, but everyone else disembarked, so we did too. Though we could see our boat from the top of the hill, it was going to be quite a feat for me to walk down that steep pathway. It would have been a great location for a zip line! Perhaps a business idea for the future? Anyway, for that particular day, we’d simply need to walk slowly and take our time.

Just a short walk down... Yikes! Zip-line anyone?

The fact that the horses stopped by the fort gave me hope for a future visit there. I’d seen the place from the marina on day one, but thought there was no way I’d be able to climb the hill. We’d definitely have to figure that idea out for another of our days! Everyone began to gather at the marina picnic tables, and talk about their days. Our tour had lasted about 2 ½ hours. Some of our friends had done similar activities, but theirs lasted only about 90 minutes, so overall, ours had been a good value. Time would tell what kinds of fun tomorrow would bring …

 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”; “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward…” All are available in paperback and electronic versions, through Amazon.

 

#boatinglife #MackinacIsland

A Boating Adventure / Mackinac Island Part 1

 Hello!  It’s been a while, so how in the world are you all doing? This summer has been quite challenging for us in some ways, and quite wonderful in others. One thing is for sure; Wisconsin’s few warm months are absolutely flying by! August 11^th already! Are you kidding me??? ANYway… 

Todd and I recently took an interesting vacation, and I got the idea to write a bit of a travel log about it. As boaters, we field a fair amount of questions about what a boating vacation is like and how it works, This is the first installment (a couple more will follow) of our latest boat-trip adventure. I hope you enjoy reading, and that you’ll comment back to me with thoughts of your own.  

Todd and I had been planning our latest trip for quite some time. Just to provide a bit of history, we are in a boat club (The Wisconsin Boating Club). It’s comprised of approximately 30 families who share one common interest -- Boating. Every February, club members decide where to travel during the upcoming boating season, and sign up for cruise offerings. Todd and I have participated in quite a few through our 24 years of membership. We’ve cruised the Mississippi and St. Croix Rivers six times, alternating nightly stays from marinas to sandbars. Twice, we trailered all the way up to Bayfield, Wisconsin in Lake Superior, to feast our eyes on the Apostle Islands. We explored beaches, lighthouses, and sea caves. Door County is an all-time favorite. Who can resist the charm of its small towns, islands, and (of course) wineries! We’ve stayed closer to home, enjoying time at Lake Winnebago, Sheboygan, Racine, and yes, Milwaukee. We’ve even crossed the lake twice, poking around in quaint Michigan ports such as Petoskey, Leland, Grand Haven, and Saugatuck. However, one place we’d never visited was Mackinac Island. Other friends had been there numerous times, but we’d never made the trek… until this year. 

A total of seven boats participated in the 2021 cruise. One couple decided to leave from McKinley Marina in Milwaukee, and take the lake all the way up, which was quite ambitious. Though they were gone for a week, they were with us for only two of our days, since it took several days to get there, and would take a couple of days to navigate their way back down. Five of the boats trailered up together. Todd and I had a little different schedule, so we trailered alone. 

We keep our boat in Oshkosh, so on the last Tuesday of July, we drove that first 75 miles, spent the night, and were ready to roll by 7:00 Wednesday morning. Thankfully, the day dawned with a beautiful sunrise. It’s funny because years ago, I can remember feeling only excitement at the notion of being on a vacation, but for something like this, my feelings are different. All I can say is that there’s a lot to it. Not only do we have the truck to get ready, but a boat and a trailer as well. All three machines are necessary for a successful trip. Let’s face it, that’s a whole lot of tires (10) and engines (3) to account for! As we pulled on to northbound 41, I said to Todd, “I feel nervous, do you?” and while he’s very confident, he did admit to “A little.” I mean, there’s a lot of responsibility in towing, especially a wide load (states vary, but generally this means a load larger than 8 ½ feet wide), especially into an area we’ve never been. But as they say, a journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step (or tire rotation, as the case may be). 

North of Green Bay, we veered northeast, heading for Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.  Soon, we’d be on roads we’d never traveled. Before the trip, we needed to secure towing permits for the state. They provided us with the route they wanted us to take, and their rules of their roads. I was surprised to find out that Michigan requires oversized loads to travel ten miles under the speed limit; a normal limit of 65, drops to 55, etc. I’m not really opposed to that, other than it does create some traffic back-up. Thankfully, every few miles, they also provide passing lanes so that faster-moving cars can pass safely, if wanted or needed. (Apparently, those cars wanted AND needed!) 

It was a beautiful drive as we followed Lake Michigan most of the way up. Years before, we’d visited the small towns of Cedar River and Escanaba by water, so it actually felt odd guessing what-was-what from the road this time. We stopped twice for fuel, and finally, by around 3:00 p.m., we neared our (truck’s) final destination of St. Ignace. As we rounded a curve in the road, we got a breathtaking glimpse of the bluffs, islands, and water that awaited us for our week. My nerves, which had begun to settle earlier, finally gave way to that peaceful easy feeling we all crave. Inhale, then deep breath out…we’re almost there. It was shaping up to be a great week.

We found the launch ramp, and saw our friends’ trucks and trailers, already parked. Somehow, it felt reassuring, like whew, we’re in the right place! We readied our boat for sea travel, affixing lines and fenders. Oh, and as all successful boaters know, never forget the plug, unless you want to sink, that is! Todd parked the trailer. Thankfully, both boat engines easily revved to life. After a long day, we were finally ready to shove off. I’d asked my friend how we’d know how to find the marina. She said, “Follow the ferry boats.” Sure enough, there was plenty of tourist activity, both coming to and leaving from, the island.

I took this picture, and swear it could be a postcard! 

As we left the harbor, we glanced to our right. There, standing proudly in the haze, was our first sighting of the Mackinac Bridge. I promise to write more about that soon. It was a short 15-minute cruise over to the island. As we passed by, the Grand Hotel stood majestically waiting; just past that, was the entrance to the marina. We radioed ahead, and received our slip assignment. Our friends came over to catch our lines. After a cheerful greeting and a bit of banter, they went back to their boats, and we set about getting organized.  

 

After months of planning, after hours of driving, we’d arrived. It felt so good to be there! Let the games begin… 

Please check back for Installment #2, coming soon. 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference”; “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward…” All are available in paperback and electronic versions, through Amazon.