So, ummm… I’m not sure if you’ve heard yet or not,
but uhhh… Tony and Lesleigh Memmel (my son and his wife) are in the process of moving
to Nashville. Even though Todd, Megan and I knew about their plans for a while,
seeing the announcement hit Facebook made it all seem very real.
On Tony
and Lesleigh’s Facebook walls and on his Musician page, the two received many
lovely well wishes: “Good Luck guys!” and “Congratulations!” and “You’re both so
talented, you deserve this!” When I
shared their news personally, I also heard many of the same comments, plus:
“You must be so proud!” and “That’s great news!” and “Now you have someplace
exciting to visit!” Yes, yes, and yes, I
agree with all of these kind comments. I believe the kids ARE talented and DO deserve
this, we ARE proud, and Todd and I WILL have another place to visit.
Then,
privately, some of you also messaged me and asked how I’m really doing. You realized that with an exciting announcement such
as this, also comes big changes within a family. You really understand that
news like this can seem (I believe the word that was most often used is)
“bittersweet” - a feeling of, well, mixed
feelings.
If
I break down the word, bittersweet, then the more ‘bitter’ aspects of Tony’s
move (for me) may include the fact that our daughter already lives a thousand miles
away, in Connecticut – straight east. Since Nashville is practically straight
south from Milwaukee, we’re not gaining any ground to see either couple more
often. Another hard part may be that even though Tony and Les have toured for
weeks at a crack, when they’re in town, they only live 12 miles down the road.
Though Todd and I never just “drop by,” we know that it’s easy enough to get
together. It’s been a joy for me to get the occasional early-morning text
message that reads, “Hey mom, what are you doing today? Wanna grab a quick
coffee?” And of course I do want to
grab a quick coffee! While I was writing the book, we often sat together,
discussing life’s events, memories, experiences, and emotions. It was a
wonderful project that brought me much joy - a fun and easy time of exchange with
him that I will treasure always.
But,
in keeping with one of my favorite REO songs, I know that I’ve got to roll with the changes. Ever since the
day I became a mother – maybe even the day I learned I was expecting – I put my
children first. What’s best for them?
That is the question. Long distances cannot stand in the way of opportunity.
Everyone knows that you go where the work is - the rest, we can figure out. We’ll
get creative – maybe have a coffee date during a Skype session, whenever
there’s time.
So where does the “sweet”
part of all of this come in?
If you read my book,
“Five Fingers, Ten Toes…” then you know that early on I worried how life might
play out for Tony. Because he was born without a left forearm and hand, I
wondered if or how he’d play sports and music, if he’d have friends or ever fall
in love. In the early days after Tony was born, my pastor visited me. You might
recall that he told me, “God often takes
what the world considers weakness, and turns it into strength.” I embraced that thought then, and lived with
it tucked away in my memory for all of these years. I’ve watched Tony’s life unfold,
and it has been so special. All of my early worries proved to be a waste of
time, and my questions were (and continue to be) answered. Todd and I rooted at
soccer and baseball games, listened as his band (RWK) practiced in our
garage/basement, we attended drama performances, cheered at more marching band
competitions than we can count, and drove to his college for most of his choir
concerts. We watched him marry the love of his life, and saw him work really really
hard to become a professional musician.
Consequently,
when Tony and Lesleigh got home from their tour this past spring and said that
they’d had an exceptional time in Nashville, as parents, Todd and I felt happy
for them. After all, he’d been touring out on the road for a few years, traveling
from city-to-city for many weeks at a time. Along with hundreds of good times,
meeting so many Lucky Fin Project families and friends, sharing a message of doing what you love to do and not giving up - he also endured car trouble and other daily challenges. We’ve wanted ‘all good things’ for the kids and
their music for as long as they’ve been making music. So all summer long, when
they kept going back to Nashville, building on previous meetings and experiences,
we felt that a move there may soon be inevitable. Music opportunities are what
they’ve been working so hard to achieve, and what better place than a music
city like Nashville?
In today’s
often-negative world, their story is a positive and uplifting one! They’ve
worked hard, given this their all. I don’t know where this path will lead them
exactly, or all of the in’s or out’s of what might happen once they get there;
but they are together, they have each other, and I do think that it’s their ‘time’
to go, and to see what might 'be' for the future.
I’m choosing to trust
God on this one… Has He been using what the world considers weakness, and
turning it into strength? Well, as far as I can see, things are ‘so far, so
good,’ don’t you think?
Good luck, Tony and Les
- we wish you every good thing! You are in my (and soooo many other people's) thoughts and prayers…
Katie
Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes… A Mother’s Story of
Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, go to her
website:
www.katiekolbergmemmel.com
