Nothing like a new knee in the new year!

Hello dear readers! 

I hope that all is well with you in your “worlds”. As for me and mine, I’ve had a big change, which I hope will prove to be a good one. On Tuesday, April 2nd, I underwent surgery for a full right knee replacement. I have been, and am still in recovery mode. 

First of all, I should share a little back-story. Do any of you remember me mentioning here on the blog that in the summer of 2021, I was having trouble walking? Well, as of a month ago (Spring of 2024), I was still struggling - even more so. Due to arthritis, not an accident, my right knee has given me pain for many years. For lack of a better word, I’ll say my condition had started to ruin my life. It’s also probable that the way I was walking began causing my left hip to hurt, too, which caused more pain while moving. It makes perfect sense, right? To favor my right knee, I leaned more heavily on my left.

I’ve been a pretty good sport, and have tried hard not to let the pain stop me from whatever I wanted or needed to do. I basically grinned and bore it. This method worked pretty well for me when I was at home, but… back in November, we took a vacation. We left Wisconsin and headed south, hit up some sites in Indiana and Kentucky, ultimately to experience the Smoky Mountains. Our final destination was to connect with Tony and family in Nashville, Tennessee for Thanksgiving weekend. 

It was a really nice car trip. Up to that point, I never had much trouble with my knee when I sat or laid down. However, as the trip wore on, the added walking - tours, museums, simply getting from point A to point B, became excruciating for me. When Tony (lovingly) suggested I use a wheelchair at the Country Music Hall of Fame, I began to protest the idea. When had my physical condition become so obvious? I wondered. 

I knew deep down that it would be best if I followed Tony’s suggestion, so I cast my foolish pride to the side. We got to the CMHOF when it opened, and they had chairs available to borrow, so I used one. The day went well, and I was so glad I had participated and not canceled my tour. It was just that… well… the experience had served as a real eye-opener for me. I guess I thought I’d been fooling everybody, but no… not even a little bit. 

Tony and Lesleigh made me promise that when I got home, I’d look into “next steps” for me and for my knee situation. True to my word, I visited with the string of doctors that a medical situation of this nature requires. The x-ray of my knee showed that I had been walking bone-on-bone. No wonder I was in so much pain. I tried a shot of cortisone in early December, hoping that it would patch me through the upcoming holidays and Todd’s retirement party. It actually did ease some of the pain, but exactly one month from the date of the shot, my pain returned. It was time. 

As the surgery date approached, I felt positive and matter-of-fact about it. I kept myself busy by filling out required questionnaires about my condition, along with ranking my pain levels from 0-10. I made a slew of phone calls, booked my post-surgery therapy appointments, and attended (with Todd, too) a required pre-surgery class. I can’t be 100% sure, but I’ll guess I was the youngest person there.

However, I’ll be honest. My positivity level did eventually take a hit. All of that talk of braces, canes, walkers, and wheelchairs was making me feel like somebody I had never been. Back in 2011, when I turned 50, I joked about being “fabulous”. In 2021, to me, 60 sounded like just another number. But I think that the old saying, “When you have your health, you have everything,” proves true for me. Being in a lot of pain day-in and day-out is exhausting. I’ve realized something else, too. Let me ask you… have you ever envied someone for their physical beauty, or maybe even for their wealth? I know it’s common to do that, but I no longer envy things like that; rather I now watch how gracefully someone walks, or how quickly they can climb a flight of stairs – sometimes even two at a time! I think Wow! I remember when I could do that. I wish I could still do that… Who knows? Maybe someday… 

So here we are. Three weeks have passed and I am working hard in therapy. I vowed to do whatever earthly thing was required to get back on my feet as soon as possible. I have a set of exercises that I am committed to complete twice daily. The surgeon is pleased with my progress. My Physical Therapist seems pleased, too. From here, it’s going to take time. They say that, “Time heals all wounds.” I’d like to insert “prayer” into the equation as well. Time, along with our perfect healer… 

I hope to be “back at it” (whatever “it” may be) very soon. Pray for me? 

Your friend, Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born With a Limb Difference... 10-year anniversary edition, now with photos"; "From This Day Forward..." and "Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff". For more information about Katie, and to order her books, please visit her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

Just Kinda "out there" or "meant to be"?

Hello, and welcome to spring… winter? … spring! I don’t know. Here in Waukesha, Wisconsin, it’s been difficult to know what time of year it is. The other day we reached 75 degrees, only for the temperature to plummet into the teens again that night. But… other than that, our family is happy and healthy. And busy, like most!

So… Something really neat happened to me last week, and I wanted to share it with all of you. First, let me ask you this. Have you ever wondered if the things that you do really matter? Will anyone ever truly benefit from something I do (or write?), or is it all just kinda “out there”? As a Christian, I know that the answer is YES! Of course, with God’s guidance, the things we do (or write!) really can matter. We may never realize the effect our actions have on others, but nothing is just “out there”. While I do know this, sometimes it feels as though our best efforts fall flat. Until last week, that is…

Take for example… back in the summer of 2015, I began writing my second book, “From This Day Forward…” I’d had a deep feeling – a “calling” maybe – that it was something I should absolutely do. If you recall, the book is comprised of eight in-depth interviews with couples and individuals who have (or had) lived their lives in Christ-centered marriages. Some met and married young, some lived well into old age. One story follows a couple who each suffered through rough divorces, then found each other, which led to a blessed second chance. Another describes the heartbreak of infertility, which eventually led to four loving adoptions. There’s even a story of a widow and widower who found deep love for a second time around.

Each of our discussions, which I voice-recorded, took about five hours. After our talks, I sat down and transcribed each of them, weaving what they’d said into their own individual love story. On a personal level, that experience has enriched my own life/marriage more than simple words can say. The wisdom I absorbed while listening to each interviewee – watching their facial expressions, feeling their emotions, the highs and lows - was life-changing for me. After the book released in 2018, I had people tell me how one story or another had affected them, too. However, after the book’s initial launch surge, it didn’t sell many copies. I came to terms with the fact that the book (I was sure I was meant to write) would be there for whomever needed it, whenever they needed it, but was unlikely to ever be a best-seller. It bothered me a little, but I guess I felt okay.

Back in February, at the age of 91, one of my interview participants passed away. She and I had attended a Bible Study together at our church for more than 25 years. Yes, we had a 30-year age difference, but she was my friend, and she was with God now. Though I hadn’t seen her as much as I used to, I knew I’d always miss her. I felt deeply fortunate to have spent all those precious hours talking with her, listening to her as she reminisced about her life, her family, her love(s); then having the ability to transcribe it all and share it. Talk about time well-spent. When the book was finished and I handed her the beautiful printed copy with her love story(ies) inside, she loved it. Rumor has it that she “treasured” it. Wow, you know?

Last Saturday, I attended her memorial service. I appreciated what the pastor said about my old friend, which brought me a few laughs, and tears, too. Afterwards, on my way to the door, I greeted a few old friends I hadn’t seen in a while. From the back of the room, a man approached me. He introduced himself as a distant cousin of my friend, and asked me how I’d known her. I felt a little surprised to be meeting this stranger – like why is he approaching me? Anyway, I said hello, introduced myself, and explained I was a friend of hers from Bible Study. He then pointed toward a whole group of people (distant cousins, reunited) and asked if I’d take a few pictures of them all.

Hmmm… It was a different protocol for me, at a funeral, to take group photos of folks I’d never met, but I ultimately smiled and said, “Sure, of course!” Every person in the cluster – probably a dozen? – handed me their individual phone so they could all have their own shot. As you can imagine, there was joking and laughing as I reminded them to smile and counted to three, over and over again. In the end, I was glad he’d approached me, and that I could help them out.

As I shrugged on my coat, a woman emerged from the group, came up to me, and quietly asked me how I knew our friend who’d passed. I explained that for many years we’d been in a Bible Study together at church.

“Did you know her well?” She asked, her eyes growing teary. “What can you tell me about her? I let too much time slip by, and now it’s too late for me to talk with her.”

Oh my… I felt sad for the woman. It’s that “tale as old as time”, isn’t it? We’ve all been there; letting too much time slip by, and then it’s too late to talk to the friend or loved one who’s passed away.

But think about it… in this particular case, I was someone who could answer this woman quite thoroughly. In fact, what are the chances that I was the one person they approached to photograph their group at all? Of all the people in the room – probably close to 100 others, WHY was I the one they asked?    

“I knew her very well,” I smiled. “In fact, a few years ago I sat down and interviewed her for a book project I was writing on Christian marriage.”

My new friend seemed so relieved, almost giddy! “You got to interview her? What did she say? What can you tell me? How can I read the book?”

She seemed so happy as I wrote down my name and the book’s title. She said she knew how to access Amazon and that she’d be ordering her copy soon. I thanked her, too, and wished her well.

It was time for me to leave the funeral, so I waved good-bye to my new “friends”. At that same time, I whispered a little prayer, thanking God for His goodness. I knew His hand was solidly in this “coincidence”. In fact, the women in that Bible Study (and I) always refer to this type of coincidental happening as a “God incident”; a crazy turn of events, all seemingly unrelated, but actually line up to make perfect sense. How amazing was it that I was present, and could help that woman fill in some of the blanks of this old relationship? She needed to know more about her friend, and through the book I’d written, she was going to be able to learn so much about what she’d missed.

Some might say, “Right place, right time.” I’d have to answer, “No, no, no…” I firmly believe that God used me and my book at the exact right place and exact right time. There’s a difference. After all, since I believe He “called” me to write the book, I also believe He will arrange ways for it to be used for His good purpose. Nothing “out there” about that.   

By the way, the woman ordered the book from Amazon the very next day. I hope and pray that as she reads, she finds the answers (and the peace) that she’s looking for….

As always, have good days! Love, Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference” (Ten-Year Anniversary Edition – Now with Photos!); “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward – True Love Stories Shared Through Interviews”. Each is available through Amazon in a Kindle or paperback version. For more information about Katie, please visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com

Cheers! to Retirement

Hi everybody!

How’re y’all doing? We’re doing well, actually. Yes, 2023 was one heck-of-a-year around here, but we’re putting it in our rearview and pressing forward.

I’ve been thinking. I don’t believe I ever blogged about the fact that Todd, my husband of 42-plus years, has retired. He formally retired at the end of 2022. know, I know… it’s an awfully big life change to not have mentioned, yet lots of “other life” snuck in and took over the front burners of our schedule for a long while. Now that things are settling down, I figured that today, I’d catch you up. 

Ten people = lots of shoes! 

Back in October, as our family discussed who would host Christmas this year, it sounded good to both of our kids’ families to come up to Wisconsin. Since both sets of in-laws also live in this area, it’s nice to connect with their other families as well. Todd and I accepted the host/hostess challenge, which included deciding how we might “sleep” ten people in our house – six adults, three little kids, and a baby.

As all of these dates, plans, and people-shuffling ideas started to form, I had a light-bulb moment. Last year, there hadn’t been a good time for everyone to be in town together to fully acknowledge Todd’s retirement. Perhaps the holiday season could be the perfect time for us to throw him that “Surprise Retirement Party” I’d been contemplating! I talked with the kids and they said it sounded good, so I started making calls and crunching numbers. December 26^th seemed like a perfect day for our family, so I rolled up my sleeves and began the invitation process.

This blog entry would not be complete without some history about Todd and work – a complicated pairing, indeed. I’ll start by saying that both he and I were raised in families who worked hard and saw jobs through to completion. From grass-cutting to babysitting, whatever jobs we undertook, we learned what we could from them.

In January of 1979, 45 years ago, Todd started his Sheet Metal Apprenticeship.  About a year later, in February of 1980, Todd and I met - he was 19 and I was 18. I was working at the Miller Brewing Company, doing secretarial work. Both of us were employed and happy in our jobs.

We fell in love, so in September of 1981, Todd and I said our “I do’s”. Those first few months of marriage were fun and care-free. Then, just three months into our marriage, he received his first lay-off notice. Our life no longer felt as fun or as care-free. We bickered more often, and I admit that these sessions were not very helpful, likely making our situation even worse. It took three long months for him to get called to a new company. Our hopes rose. Maybe this will be the end to the unemployment… but no. The placement didn’t last long. He received another lay-off. He hated what was happening. All he wanted was to work full-time, accumulate the hours needed to graduate from his apprenticeship, and finally become a journeyman.

In that tough early-1980’s job market, the way to permanent employment would be to make himself indispensable. The trade needed welders, so he enrolled in a night class to help him beef up his welding skills. His strategy worked and he was hired. Welding wasn’t/isn’t easy or glamorous. Despite the protective gear he wore, he came home every day with burn holes in his jeans and t-shirts. But his dedication impressed me. He knew what he wanted and needed, and went after it. He was no longer unemployed.

He liked his new company. Initially, he welded, but then grew into a whole different aspect of the trade – service. They gave him a van to drive and a schedule of appointments to keep. With lay-offs, he’d lost about six months, but eventually he graduated from his apprenticeship. The union ended up inviting Todd to teach night school. For many years, after working a full day at his job, he’d then teach up-and-coming apprentices one night a week. He could earn more money in those four hours of teaching than I could have earned in ten hours of part-time secretarial work.  Over the decades, many young people have approached me, saying how much they appreciated Todd’s teaching, leadership and mentorship in the trades. It always meant a lot to me, knowing that the sacrifice we made of him being away from us (his family), was helping others.

Woven into all of this school and work, other life experiences were happening, too. We bought a house and remodeled it. We became parents to our two children: Tony (our son) was born in 1985 and Megan (our daughter) was born in 1988. From early-on in our relationship, Todd and I worked toward me being a stay-at-home mom. Todd confesses that from the minute he watched our kids come into the world, a deep fatherly responsibility settled over him. It was no longer just him and me – no, we were now a family, and he (mostly) would be financially responsible. That was our goal. He took that very seriously. Finally, we sold our house and moved to an apartment while we built another home which he actually designed - from scratch! The kids started school and lots of other activities. Life really took off.   

At work, Todd became a boss - a man that other employees reported to, and relied on for employment. Remembering his own feelings about those early lay-offs, he felt deep responsibility to keep “his guys” employed; no longer working for just himself and our family, but also for a crew of other people who needed to feed their families, too.

During his years in the trades, he learned many aspects of the work. From his earliest days of sweeping floors, to hanging ductwork, welding, being “on call” for service, teaching, bidding and running jobs, and even attending engineering classes at MSOE to obtain licensing; to finally becoming a partial/co-owner of a mechanical contractor. What a career it’s been!  

Work held a top spot in Todd’s priorities. How could it not? But… to be honest, I personally experienced a love/hate relationship with Todd’s work ethic. On the one hand, I respected and was proud of him. Nobody would or could ever refer to him as lazy. I fully understood that the kids and I relied on him (almost solely) for income, and benefitted the most from all he did. Yet… we also took the biggest hits where his work was concerned.  

Vacationing became more stressful than simply staying home and having Todd go to work. We can laugh about it now, but he actually closed a big deal on a payphone (pre-cell phone days) at Walt Disney World in Florida. All we wanted was for him to ride “The Pirates of the Caribbean” with us, but he wouldn’t hang up. That said, we continued to go through the motions of him taking time off, always hoping for those special moments that only vacations can bring. The best trip our family ever took was in March of 2001. We flew to Mexico for a week’s stay at an all-inclusive resort. His cell phone usage was not yet international so he couldn’t work. We had a whole week with him to ourselves – snorkeling, playing volleyball, eating, drinking… relaxing! It was the best family get-away we ever spent.

As the kids grew up, I was able to attend most of their soccer/baseball games, marching band competitions, band and choir concerts, school plays, and church activities. Todd came whenever he could, and even coached soccer for a couple of seasons. Are the kids resentful of all the work their dad put in? There may have been days that was true, but overall, I don’t think so. Now that they’re parents, they stay mindful of how much work they invest themselves in; perhaps striving for a better work/play balance than our own family achieved. But they’re also both aware that work must take a high priority in order to keep a growing family fed, clothed, educated, churched, and active.

Back to present day… Christmas at the Memmel’s this year was crazy but joy-filled. On the morning of the surprise party, Megan said she had a terrible headache. My mind raced, wondering if after all of the planning, she’d even be able to attend. As life would have it, she could not go. Her husband, Joe, and kids were there. Tony, Lesleigh and the boys were there, but not her. What could we do except to keep going? Eighty people, everyone from family, neighbors, friends, and work acquaintances, were planning to attend; all of them ready to honor Todd for all of the work he’d accomplished during his 43 years of dedicated employment. It had to be celebrated.

The party turned out terrific! Todd was totally surprised! He had no idea, whatsoever. Tony honored Todd by speaking briefly. He acknowledged that from the beginning of time (Adam and Eve), work has been a complicated directive to which we must find a balance. Tony tied it all together saying that now that he’s a small business owner, himself, he knows how hard that balance can be to find. His words brought tears to many of our guest’s eyes. I spoke for a minute about how I felt about Todd’s work. Mostly, that I’m really happy that he’s finally done. I believe that retirement is going to be good for us. Food, drinks, cake… it truly was a night to remember.

Sooo… Happy Retirement, Todd! We’re all proud of the man you were, are, and always will be. You’ve accomplished so much. Here’s to many new endeavors and projects in the years ahead!

 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference” (Now a 10-Year Anniversary Edition with Photos); “From This Day Forward…”; and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”. All three books are available through Amazon as either a paperback or electronic version. Visit Katie’s website for more information. www.katiekolbergmemmel.com