The Merriest of Christmas's to All...!

Well hello, and Merriest of Christmas’s to you all!

Are you ready? Are you ready for whatever you’ll be doing to celebrate (or hibernate, or avoid life) over the next few days? I’m pretty ready – not as ready as I’d like to be, and yet here I am, writing a blog post instead of cleaning my counter tops or baking another batch of cookies. Ah well… some of us clean our houses, some of us are baking fools, and some of us write blog posts! Am I right???  ;) 

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about Christmas – the ways we celebrated when I was a kid; traditions I cherished as a teen; ways that Todd and I celebrated with our own kids; and even where we are now.

Christmas Tree, 2014

When I think back, our family’s celebrations weren’t always like other families. My dad was a fireman, so he often needed to work on holidays, leaving my mom and the four of us kids home alone. I learned early on that we needed to be flexible, and that holidays could be held on alternate days. One Christmas I remember being very concerned when my parents said we’d open presents on Christmas Eve. I wanted to know if Santa would find us in time, or if Dad would have to miss it entirely. They suggested I write Santa a letter, requesting our family be one of the first stops on his list that night - maybe even while we were at church! “Will he do that?” I asked. “We don’t see why not,. He's gotta start somewhere,” they answered. I wrote the letter, and sure enough – Santa came early... Remarkable! J 

I found one solid constant to our Christmas. Every Christmas Eve, from the time I was in Kindergarten until I was in eighth grade, I participated in our church’s Christmas program. From the weekend after Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve, the Sunday school children got together on Saturday mornings from like nine till noon, for practices. Each child received a verse that they’d speak as part of the Christmas story, and each class would process up to the front to deliver our important message. We memorized and sang Christmas songs, and worked at home with our parents, reciting the required words. To this day I remember every word of “Luke’s” precious message…  “…for unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you – you will find the babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace, goodwill to men…”  

As a teenager, I joined the church choir, and enjoyed learning Christmas music in four parts.  I don’t really know if we sounded good or not; but I do know that I really loved being part of the group. I always sang alto, and I still like to harmonize. I’m the person who brings in the low part to “What Child is This” and “O Come All Ye Faithful.” What can I say? Old habits die hard. During these teen years I was also part of our youth group. On a December Sunday afternoon we would decorate the church with green boughs and red bows; and then later that day, we’d go Christmas caroling – but not around the neighborhood. This group always went into nursing homes and to people’s homes where the elderly could no longer get to church. During these events, I noticed that our listeners often teared up, became emotional. At first I didn’t really understand why that happened. Christmas was such an exciting happy time. Tears did not yet compute to my early teenage brain. I told my mom about it, and she explained that perhaps they were thinking of years past, happier times of family and children, maybe loved ones that had passed away. Seeing our young faces, so full of hope and promise, singing the old traditional carols, might have brought out many feelings in them – from sadness to joy. “Even joy brings tears sometimes,” she said. I knew I’d never view caroling (or Christmas, for that matter) the same way again.

Megan and Tony on Santa's lap - 1988 :) 

Outside of attending church, our family didn’t have hard and fast Christmas traditions. So when I met Todd, and he seemed to have ideas on all things Christmas – from gift giving, to decorating, to family parties – it took some getting used to. Does that seem odd? As I write this, I guess it seems odd to me; odd but true. Todd had many more ideas about all of this than I ever did. He loves Christmas, and that’s nice. I think it rubbed off on me too because we were pretty festive with our own kids – pretty elaborate with our descriptions of the who, what, where, when, why and how “certain things” happen at Christmas. (I’ll be vague here, just in case certain young eyes are reading) ;)  We always tried to make Christmas special for our kids. Church on Christmas Eve remained our absolute constant, followed by gift-giving. It was always a lot of fun – even into their high school and college years – to have one of the kids run up the stairs after church and yell, “Santa came!”

Our house at night, during Christmas time

Last year, 2013, would have been the first year Todd and I celebrated without either of our children. Megan and Joe moved away in 2010, and Tony and Les moved away in November of 2013. But instead, we planned a trip to Nashville over the holidays, to buy ourselves a year to think about it. Tony found a church service down there that he thought we’d enjoy, and he was right – we did. Todd and I eventually exchanged gifts after we got back, our minds full of new memories of how the holiday could be spent. Now, here we are at 2014, and Megan and Joe are home to celebrate with both of the families. Do we have traditions? Yes and no… We do what we can. We celebrate with whoever is here, when we’re here. We’re hosting our annual Christmas Day brunch. The crowd may change, but the event can remain the same. Church on Christmas Eve??? Ummm – By now you know that’s non-negotiable!  

As I look back on so many people, traditions, innovative new and old ways of celebrating Christmas, I’m grateful that we’ve been rich – not necessarily rich in “things” but in our experiences. And most of all, I love that it was instilled in me from very little on, that the only constant – the only thing I could never change about Christmas – wouldn’t want to change about Christmas – is celebrating the real reason for the season - Christ’s birthday – the main event – the one thing I’d never want to miss. “This, this is Christ the king, whom shepherds guard, and angels sing. Haste, haste to bring him laud, the babe, the son of Mary…”

So, as I said earlier, no matter your status over the next few days, be blessed. A very Merry Christmas to you all, and to all a good – no, a great – night!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, go to her website: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

 

 

The Ambassadors of Harmony

A few years back, I became acquainted with an inspiring group of male singers who call themselves, “The Ambassadors of Harmony.” My Aunt Catherine lives at an apartment complex for people in the age range of “55-plus,” and most of the ambassadors live there too. But if I were a betting woman (which I’ve been known to be) I’d wager that most of these gents are considerably older than 55 (like 20-40 years older). They perform in the community room a couple of times per year, and when they put on a show, I love to be present. Today was one of those days…

 

The group is comprised of about three dozen men who sing four-part barbershop harmonies every chance they get. They commit to practice on weekdays, and look forward to booking gigs out in the community. Sharply dressed in matching suit coats, shirts, pants and ties, they take turns with the tasks of directing, announcing, and joke-telling. Some of the men need to sit in their seats (most of the time), and some prefer to stand (most of the time).

 

The members of this impressive group of songsters have experienced most of what life can throw their way – the goods, the bads and the in-betweens. Some are happily married. Some enjoyed long-lasting and loving marriages, and now find themselves widowers. Some have “bach-ed” it through life, and a few have found divorce along their paths. Most have proudly served in a branch of our country's military, and fought for our/our country’s freedoms.

 

A four-part harmony quartet - they laugh when they call themselves "The B Flats" ;) 

But the one solid thing that these “boys” have in common is that they LOVE to sing – and they LOVE to sing it ALL! In four-part harmony, they perform some oldies but goodies: My Wild Irish Rose, Mem-o-ries, This Little Light of Mine (Do Lord…) and Let’s Bust a Chord. I was blessed to see them today, and since it’s so close to the holidays, they sang some of their Christmas fare: Silent Night, O Holy Night (complete with a tenor solo), Hark the Herald Angels Sing, and a rousing chorus of Jingle Bells. For me, personally, what touches my heart the most is when they move into their patriotic portion of the show. These gentlemen have such a strong love of God and country, that it feels contagious: God Bless America and The Battle Hymn. I was also moved to hear that during the Milwaukee Brewers’ 2014 season, “The Ambassadors of Harmony” were privileged to sing The National Anthem before a Brewers home game. They opened their set today with The Star Spangled Banner, and even those who could not physically stand for anything else, were helped to their feet, and proudly stood with their brothers, each with their hand over their heart.

 

All of the men standing, singing the Star Spangled Banner

 

There’s just something about this group of guys that inspires me. They were once young men, fought in wars, weathered all of life’s many storms. They married, had children, and now grand (and great grand) children. They worked hard at jobs and are now retired. They know where they’ve been, and they seem to know who they are. They love their God and they love their United States… to them, it’s that simple.

No matter their advancing age, they do not quit, saying they have nothing left to offer. No! They love to sing – a fact that is most obvious to all who hear them, and doesn’t appear to ever change.

Thank you all for sharing that gift with us, year after year. I feel blessed to know of you...


Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, go to her website: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

The Holidays are Coming, the Holidays are Coming...!

            Friends, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking - a dangerous pastime, I know… (Straight out of Beauty and the Beast) ;) 

But yeah, I’ve been thinking about how things change as we age, and today’s topic is going to be the upcoming holidays.

I don’t know if this ever happened in your family or not, but years ago, the topic of “the holidays” could surface for me as early as July. I’d be sitting here sweating on a hot summer’s day, plotting out the current day’s events for my kids – park, picnic or pool, pool, picnic or park? The phone would ring and I’d quickly answer, (wrongly) assuming that I’d simply engage in polite chit chat. But oh no no no no no. Before I knew what hit me, ye ‘ol yearly question would be sprung, then loom like mist for the next half-year… “Who’s hosting Christmas this year? Are YOU hosting Christmas this year?”

Now remember, it was only July, so I was taken completely off-guard. I’d hem, I’d haw, but what could I really say? I had NO idea who was hosting Christmas that year, nor if I was hosting Christmas that year. I could offer up that Todd and I had hosted the previous year, or I could say I thought it might be our turn, but other than that, I truly hadn’t given it much thought on that sunny summer day.  

To be honest, our holiday gatherings (no matter who hosted) could range from spectacular to sheer mayhem. Let’s just be real kind right now, and say that some family members were easier to hit it off with than others. So thinking about December in July did not bring me much joy. Why in fact, it held the very real potential to start up an argument that very night. Nothing like a little Christmas conflict during the 4^th of July fireworks! ;)

It’s just weird to think about it now because so much has changed. Both of Todd’s parents have long since passed away - his mom in 2006 and his dad shortly after in 2008. Todd’s siblings are literally scattered from coast to coast. His brother (and family) lives in the San Diego area, while his sister (and family) resides in Charleston, South Carolina. Though my own siblings and dad are all relatively close by, my mom passed away in 2003; and before that, she “celebrated” three holiday seasons in her nursing home.

And talk about change! Get this - my own two kids grew up! Yeah, I know – how weird is that? When they were little, I didn’t think that would ever happen. But it did! They grew up and went away to school, and they got married, and we had to share them on holidays with the other two families – just like our parents needed to share Todd and me, once-upon-a-time. The difference was that we were ten miles down the road – not 500 to 1,000. With Megan and Joe living in Connecticut, and Tony and Lesleigh living in Nashville, nothing is at all the same as it was years ago, for our own parents. We can’t really count on anything. Our plan-making conversations hold a lot of “We’ll have to see how this year plays out,” - as you can imagine.

Now that I’m in my 50’s, I think I understand a bit better why people started planning events so early. They like to know where they stand - I get it. But for us the logistics are so completely different. If we want to spend the holidays together we might start planning in July because we all must consider work schedules, flight arrangements (or preventive car maintenance), hotel reservations, weather delays, and much more. Last year we were able to go visit both kids. We flew to Connecticut for Thanksgiving (see November 2013 blog posts) and drove to Nashville for Christmas. It was such a relief to not have to even think about what we’d do over the holidays, because we’d be traveling, seeing the people we love the most in this world. I guess that’s what our parents were trying to figure out all those years ago – they wanted to spend their holidays with those that they loved the most in this world – us. See? I get it now.

My sister called a few days ago and asked me what we were doing for Thanksgiving. Since I no longer plan for the holidays in the summertime, it felt strange to say, “I don’t really know.” She reminded me that the holiday is less than three weeks away, which I do know. But somehow without my own kids here in town, none of it matters nearly as much as it used to. She was very kind to invite us over, and we did accept; but it also brought out some odd feelings, which I’m sharing with you now.

When I sit back and think about all of the holidays past – all of the familial dramas that ensued, all of the people who are now gone – it kind of makes me long for my phone to jingle in July and for someone’s voice to inquire, “Who’s hosting Christmas this year? Are YOU hosting Christmas this year?” (Of course the answer would be, “No,” since I really don’t love to host, and usually only do it when my arm is twisted and it’s my turn)   ;)  I realized that I miss the people more than the actual calls; but it would be fun to banter it again anyway, this time from a more mature viewpoint. Who knows? I might even find it all a bit humorous…

The good news is that this year, Megan and Joe are going to be in town over Christmas! (Yay! Yippeee!) So for months now we’ve been badgering them with questions like, “What are you doing on this day, that day, can we have you on blah blah blah…?,” and they must now decide how to arrange it all, just like we had to years ago.

So… as you set out to celebrate because “The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming!” just remember this:  (in the wise words of Billy Joel)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSaaEVAMi3o

“This is the time to remember cuz it will not last forever..."

You may not want to remember these days, these holidays, but they are the memories you’ll have – the good, the bad, and the horrendous.

So, whether you’re hosting or helping…

God bless you, your families, and your holidays – from July all the way thru December!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference." For more information, or to purchase her book, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

Happiest of Halloweens!

Halloween…

It’s been so much fun this year watching Facebook friends post pictures of their little costumed ghosties, goblins, princesses, Nemo fish, good witches, etc. When my nephew and his wife invited his parents (my sister and brother-in-law) and us (Todd and me) to their new home to pass out candy for their subdivision trick-or-treat event, we couldn’t resist the fun. My nephew (dressed as Superman), his wife (dressed as Mini Mouse) and their 3-year-old daughter (one of those ‘good witches’ I mentioned) set out for an hour and a half of frightening excitement. The four of us sat huddled on their dark front porch, ready to participate in the fun. We were manned with huge tubs of chocolate and fruity candies, ready to drop into their neighborhood kids’ open bags. We watched as tractors (decked out as lighted parade floats) pulled carts full of kids to their spooky destinations.

 

Mini Mouse, Superman, and the 'good witch' ;)

 

As my sister and I exchanged banter of our own trick-or-treat days, memories of Halloweens past came flooding back to me.

When I was very little, my older siblings took me trick-or-treating. That was back when the holiday really did take place on the 31^st of October, while it was dark outside. But pretty early on I remember great hullabaloo when our city, and most surrounding areas, switched trick-or-treat to after-school or weekend daylight hours. That’s when I started going out with friends, no adults required. If the times were set from 4 till 7, then we started at 4 and finished at 7. None of these, “I’m tired,” or “I’m cold” excuses from me – Nosiree! I think I trick-or-treated through age 13 - 8^th grade. After that, I handed out candy - after all, somebody has to do it.  

Whenever we asked our parents, “What should I be for Halloween?” They pointed to the old box of props in the closet and suggested their old stand-by, “Well, there’s a ‘nose and glasses’ you could wear.” OR there was the ever-popular suggestion, “Smear Vaseline on your face and cover it with coffee grinds – makes for a great beard!” Ick – no thanks… Our costumes turned out to be pretty simple – usually whatever we could find in our closets. Black pants and a black turtle neck worked nicely as a black cat. One year I became a musician by wearing a flannel shirt and blue jeans, and strapping a cut-out wooden guitar on my back.

I know that Halloween has always had a dark side, but in my life, I’ve always had lots of fun celebrating the holiday. Why, even at the conservative church where I grew up, we had youth group Halloween parties. Some of the older kids would transform a storage closet into a haunted house. Remember that old story about the guy - peeled grapes were his eyes, and cold spaghetti his brains? Yes… All things I learned from Halloween parties of my youth; and all things I passed on to my own kids.

In high school I went to my first reeeaaaalll haunted house – one of those seasonal money-makers for charity. Suffice to say it was nothing like the innocent ones from my church basement days. The dark hallways and strangely-lit scenes of horror scared me more than words can tell. Yes, I screamed and yes, I cowered… Although, if the truth be told, it was pretty much fun too, depending on whom I was with… and whose hand I held.  ;)

Megan, Tony, and Todd :)

 

Todd has always loved holidays – all holidays. We took our kids to pumpkin farms, and sat around the dining room table, each creating and carving a face or image of our liking. My own jack-o-lanterns were very traditional: triangle eyes, a square nose, and a jagged-tooth mouth. Todd often tried his hand at more trendy options such as black cats with whiskers. Even after a long day of work, he enjoyed carving pumpkins and especially taking the kids out trick-or-treating. As a kid he had also participated in the marathon door-to-door ritual, just like I had. He’d leave his home at the designated time and not return until the clock struck the end time. As our own kids grew, our neighbors would sometimes ask if their children could tag along; but their longevity and commitment to Todd’s, Tony’s and Megan’s Halloween trick-or-treat sessions could not be matched. I’d see them all return to drop off the exhausted neighbor, only to turn around and leave again, heading the other direction. J  (I always handed out the candy.) I think that of all the traditions we’ve participated in through the years, the kids probably remember this as the ‘best of times’ with their dad.

And so here we are. Our city re-instituted October 31 (in the dark) as traditional trick-or-treat. I still pass out the candy. Todd tries to get home from work in time to enjoy some of the little ones in their sweet costumes. We’ve (almost always) decorated our porch with a ghost, some lit-up pumpkins, and even some scary guys sometimes. Never let it be said that the Memmels are not good sports!

 

I must say that to this day, at night, this is a neighborhood fav,! 

No matter what stage of life we’re in, I hope that Todd and I will continue to find the childlike amusement of Halloween. Here’s hoping for some good, clean fun for us all this spooky season!   

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information about her and her book, go to her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

 

 

 

The Soundtrack of my Life...

Have you ever stopped to consider what music might be used for the soundtrack of your life? Since I’m a lover of both movies and music, I do stop to consider crazy things like this. I wonder sometimes who might ‘play’ me in my movie, and what songs could be used to highlight the various ages and stages of my story. I’m a music lover, so the musical choices loom endless, but I think that the following are high points I’d need to consider – my life’s highlights, if you will.

I’m the youngest of four siblings, and my brother, Dan, is 11 years my senior. As a young teen, he purchased a multitude of 45’s. When he went off to college, he left an old shoebox full of these musical treasures, and I found them. When I was about 7, 8, 9 years old, I’d spend hours stacking these oldies but goodies on my parents’ old phonograph record changer, waiting for each one to drop. Here’s a taste of the delicious oldies I fell privy to:  Peter & Gordon’s I Go to Pieces, Simon & Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water, Herman’s Hermits’ Silhouettes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9VaNoGscYo ,  and the Beatles’ I Wanna Hold Your Hand https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MHkgwA8t-g . I memorized all the lyrics, and performed them in front of our living room mirror – a hairbrush as my microphone.  

I remember when the radio became important to me. Our family only had one – it sat on a shelf in the kitchen, tucked into the corner near the sink. Often while washing the dishes, I bargained with my mom to change the station from her conservative AM talk choice, to the more cutting-edge concept of FM. Don McLean’s American Pie,  Carly Simon’s You’re so Vain, and Roberta Flack’s Killing Me Softly began to affect and really move me. Some of my friends developed huge crushes on pop/rock idols such as young Elton John; but to be honest, I really liked everybody.  “A long long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih7N9_VUU4U

As a kid I joined our church choir and grew to love singing to God in worship, harmonizing in four parts with friends that I still see to this day. * NOTE: Hymns and songs with religious significance grew even more important to me in the early 2000’s when my mom was in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s Disease. She didn’t always remember who people were or the significance they held to her life, but to the day she died she remembered all of the words that praised God. This fact was not lost on me.*  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdOyrpXNGlI A nice arrangement of “Amazing Grace” by Tony Memmel.

During these young years I also began playing the trumpet and French horn, and as I moved into middle school and high school, my appreciation for classical music began to deepen. I played in band (including marching and jazz), orchestra, and smaller ensembles such as brass choirs and quintets. I participated in solo/ensemble competitions, and even took private lessons for a while. Our high school band traveled to competitions in both Virginia Beach and Winnipeg Canada. I grew to love playing band music, especially rousing pieces like Gustav Holst’s Suite in E flat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLbP6qpI1YI . True story - one of the most memorable ‘dates’ of my life was when my young ‘suitor’ planned dinner in downtown Milwaukee, and an evening at the Symphony. There are many songs I take away from this time of my life, but Gabrieli’s Sonata Piano Forte always spoke to me.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQeikHMQGOM

High School – this paragraph could no doubt morph into a book of its own; but for me, musically it became known for groups such as Boston, Journey, Styx, Kansas, Fleetwood Mac, Bob Seeger, and REO Speedwagon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHu-SqUqoak . However, I’ll never forget my first concert experience. It was 1978. Billy Joel began his three-hour show by whistling The Stranger, to a dark Milwaukee auditorium. Absolutely unforgettable!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdLPI6XhEN8  During this time there was also a popular radio song that really spoke to me. “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill. It just beautifully captured the turmoil of off-again/on-again relationships so common in teen romance; and to this day, when I hear it, I weep. ;)  (Just kidding, but seriously – I weep)  “…at times I think we’re drifters, just searchin’ for a friend, a brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again…” (sigh) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IATz8ZVTALo

Disco – What can I say? It was a big part of my era! Many bowling alleys used to have a bar/disco hidden inside. I actually met Todd in a club when he came up and asked me to dance (one of the first chapters of my book, if you recall). Songs such as “Funkytown” and “I Will Survive” can still slap me back to the late 70’s/early 80’s. But after I met Todd and as we got to really know each other, our song became Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle. “… I’ve looked around enough to know that you’re the one I wanna go through time with…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO1rMeYnOmM . Along with this timeframe also comes the Eagles, Neal Diamond (circa The Jazz Singer) and some Dan Fogelberg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhjYbfK9vrk

Men at Work, Phil Collins, Wham, Alabama, John Mellencamp, Steve Miller Band – these are some of the popular groups we enjoyed early in our marriage. But during the week that Tony was born, in December of 1985, a song called “Broken Wings” (Mr. Mister) went to number one. “Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to live so free…”  I know it’s a love song, but given that he was missing his left forearm, that song just stuck with me. I cannot hear it without thinking about baby Tony, and those first weeks of his life.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKhN1t_7PEY

Rod Stewart’s “Forever Young” came out in the fall of 1988. After I gave birth to Megan, Todd’s sister, Jodi, said that she dubbed the song as Megan’s. “…Be courageous and be brave, and in my heart you’ll always stay forever young…” To this day, this is Megan’s song. :-/  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T9apksOv6k

As my kids grew, I taught them all my old musical favorites, but as time went on, and they became radio listeners of their own music, they began to teach me some new selections. * Note: Todd never did swing into the kids’ new music. He still listens to classic rock and country to this day. * The mid to late 90’s brought us (via the children) Dave Mathews, the Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Green Day, and the Goo Goo Dolls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73cWfFEKAfE  Life was changing…

In 2001, Tony and his friends started a garage band. Not only did they imitate the ska style that was so popular in the early 2000’s, (Reel Big Fish, Less than Jake, Goldfinger) but he also began writing his own music. This was a significant portion of my book, and would definitely need to be added to the soundtrack of my life. Tony’s albums: Tale of an Underdog, Potter Road, Here We Go, Yours and Mine, and Clenched Hands/Brave Demands… and the Lucky Fin Song J https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Q8pRO_4MI

As the kids grew up, went to college and got married, I was back on my own musically. Yes, they still continue to influence me and encourage me to check out new things, but I’ve also found some encouraging music for my own life. One song that particularly speaks to me is “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. The lyrics say, “…feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in, no one else can speak the words on your lips, paint yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten…” Oh, and don’t forget “Landslide” – may I just say WOW, You know?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sQ7cuYgjzw  “…well I’ve been afraid of changin’ cuz I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older, I’m getting older too…” (This song brings out the tears – absolutely!)

As of this date, September 28, 2014, these are some of the songs that could appear in the soundtrack of my life. I hoped you enjoyed this little trip through my Memory Lane. This was fun for me to think about and to consider. It’s so encouraging for a 50-something gal like me, after all I’ve endured and lived through, to think of my life as ‘still unwritten…’ to not have every answer… After all, none of us knows what lies ahead – Life is a blank page. It’s up to us (with God’s help) what we choose to make it…

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” It is available through Amazon as a Kindle download and as a paperback. http://www.amazon.com/Five-Fingers-Ten-Toes-Difference/dp/1478368055/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411511026&sr=1-1&keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel

 

 

Summer Days, Driftin' Away

“Summer days, driftin’ away…” Grease

            Well hello, and welcome to the end of summer. Can I have a show of hands? Who here can even believe that Labor Day is next weekend? Anybody…?

I can only speak for myself, but may echo the thoughts of others too… For those of us who live in four-season climates, we count each precious day from Memorial Day through Labor Day as some of our most treasured of the entire year. Yes, spring time can be lovely, and certainly fall can too – Autumn may even be my own personal favorite time of year. But for my family, maybe because we are boaters, the summer is basically spelled out in ‘weekends.’ How many weekends exist between the last Monday in May and the first Monday in September?

Memorial Day weekend turned out beautiful, and Todd and I were able to get in some great boating time with our club up on Lake Winnebago. But, as usual, it was mid-June before we got the boat put into its Lake Michigan slip, and we tried to get at least one weekend day on it every week. We were excited to learn that the US Navy’s “Blue Angels” would once again be flying as part of Milwaukee’s Air and Water Show; but as luck would have it, both of their performance days were cancelled due to intense fog over the lake. Disappointing for certain. It’s always a great thrill to be out on the water and have the Blue Angels fly right over the top of us!

This year half of June was consumed by Tony and Lesleigh’s participation in the “Make a Band Famous” competition in New York. Though they only competed for a day, the weeks leading up to it with all of the tweeting on Twitter, created the strangest “busy-ness” I’ve ever experienced. Yes, life went on, but whenever there was a remote lull, Twitter called my name.

 

It felt so strange this year – the first time ever – that Todd and I celebrated the Fourth of July without our kids in town. Each year Milwaukee puts on a huge firework display on the third, and each year (since 1999) we’ve had some combination of kids and friends out in the harbor on the boat with us. I’m not complaining per se – we could have done any number of things – but we chose to go it alone, and just tie up with some other boat club families. “Firsts” can be hard, but also necessary. Traditions are lovely, but new experiences can be good too. We went to the Waukesha parade, saw the movie “Jersey Boys” (which blew my MIND!) ;) and spent some more lake time… a rough, rough weekend, but somebody had to live it! haha

When I was a very little girl (1967) my parents bought land on a lake in central Wis. My dad built a small cottage and we spent lots of time together there. Since I was the youngest of four, my siblings started to branch off and marry, have children, and a new tradition was born… “Lake Helen Day.” Every year my parents hosted a party at the cottage and everyone came up, camped, played ball, swam - whatever activity the weather permitted. My oldest nephew and his wife now also bought property on the same lake, and re-instituted our old party tradition. This year many of us (including two surprise visitors named Tony & Lesleigh) got together in mid-July, played some whiffle ball, swam, boated, ate good food, sat around the campfire, and enjoyed a special weekend together. Great fun!

 

Back in 1977’s high school marching band days, two of my fellow band mates had dated, gone to prom, etc. For various reasons, they split up and lived different lives. In recent years, they reunited at a party and began seeing each other again. This past February, 37 years later, they traveled to Jamaica and said “I do!” It really can happen like that sometimes. Since Facebook had connected some of us again, Todd and I actually got invited to their wedding reception, which took place at their home. What fun it was to see old friends again. Every good wish, John and Beth, for many many more years together!

Just like last year, Todd took a day off of work and we headed south to Ohio for the Helping Hands Midwest gathering. Though it is a six-hour drive for us, we feel very at-home with this special group of people. All of us share an important common denominator – loving someone who has a limb difference. The picnic was a delight, and I was able to meet some new friends, while also chatting with some past ones too. It was a shame that shortly after eating lunch, and introducing ourselves, the skies let loose with a storm. As often happens with nature, about a half hour later the sun shone bright again – but most people were already gone. Thankfully, an indoor pizza party was planned for that evening, complete with a concert by Tony & Lesleigh. They had those darling kids dancing and singing along to just about everything. I think my favorite part was when they opened up ideas for lyrics to “Old MacDonald had a farm…” and one child said that “…on that farm he had a Transformer.” And wouldn’t you know that the two came up with a noise that the “Transformer” made down on that farm?! Priceless ;)  We had lots of laughs, lots of smiles – and maybe even a tear or two – but in a very good way.

Todd and I participated in our club’s annual corn roast. It’s an evening of food and friends – buy a wristband for access to unlimited brats, dogs, corn and cake. Beer and soda cost extra, but hey, it’s only once a year, right? Right! Why is it that when adults get together, so much silliness can ensue? But silliness it is! (Especially during a "Super Moon")The event even provided a band for dancing, so who was I to say ‘no,’ you know??? “Celebrate good times, come on…!”

And I, personally, have continued my writing – taking this summer time to go back to visit places from my past for words and ideas of inspiration. (and just a tiny clue – I’m finding what I’m seeking) You can read my blog post from one of my experiences here: http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-blast-from-campsite-past.html

So, here we are coming up to the end of summer. As much fun as it is/was – I do love fall. I consider it to be a time of great beauty and a time of blessed wind-down. Although this year it’s going to be plenty busy in and of itself. I have my writing classes, some speaking engagements, some family obligations, and before you know it, the holidays will be here. OH, and did I mention that Megan and Joe think they’ll be able to come home for Christmas this year? Weeee! Another fun thing to look forward to!

Life moves fast, I think that most of us will agree. So here’s to enjoying every minute, no matter what season we’re in… (our virtual ‘glasses’ clink in mid-air)

Until we meet (or blog) again ;)    Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

A Blast from Campsite Past

            Long time, no blog! I realized that I never posted Part II to Tony’s MABF competition, and then thought that maybe too much time had passed. Let me know what you think. I can still put something up. I guess that by now I figured most of you had heard how he and Lesleigh placed in New York City and such; but if there’s still interest, I will do it.

I hope all is well in your parts of the world. Things are good here in Waukesha, Wis – busy, like everybody else, but good! The summertime certainly does go by quickly, doesn’t it? I wish that January and February went by as fast, but they never seem to, do they? (Unless a lovely warm-weather vacation is on the calendar – then that goes by quickly too!) ;)

Sooo… Recently as I chatted with friends and scanned through Facebook and Twitter posts, I saw so much talk about camping. It made me stop and think… when was the first time I camped and who was I with? It didn’t take me long to remember, and I’d like to share some of those experiences with you today.

When I was a kid, our church had an organization called, “Lutheran Girl Pioneers.” It existed for girls from 3^rd grade (8/9 years old) through 8^th grade confirmation age (13/14). It was much like Girl Scouts (although I never actually was a Girl Scout – it’s what I’d equate it with). We learned about many subjects, always with God at their center: cooking, nature, first aid, woodworking, how to apply make-up, childcare, and more. Though I found many of the activities to be enjoyable, one yearly event stood out for me, and towered high above the rest – the annual LGP campout.

We always camped at the same place – Mukwonago County Park. For the sake of this blog post I decided to take a drive out to the park, and see how it looks now, 40 years later. To my delight, not much had changed. I’d have bet the exact opposite, but no, it looked pretty much the same. As I drove through the gate, the beach was still to my left, and although I remembered it having more sand, a raft was still anchored over “the deep end.” The cement block bathhouse hadn’t been updated at all. A layer of pink paint lined the ladies’ room walls, and someone had painted over the stall’s doors, locks and everything. Some things just do not change. ;)  

Since very few people were in the park that day, I took the time to drive the winding road up to the group camp area, all the while remembering the good ole days… I paused at the top of the hill and took this picture. I wanted to show you how pretty it is here in Wisconsin and just why I love it so <3 …

Many trees now cover the camp areas where open grassy spaces used to exist, and yet this particular site looked almost the same. As young girls this was where we learned to spot poison ivy, pitch canvas tents, spark a fire, cook our meals in tinfoil packs (ground beef/carrots/potatoes), and roast marshmallows.

Once we all settled down we sang songs about great big bears a waaaay over there; and Joe having a head like a ping pong ball; and come by here Lord – come by here (Kum by yah). One of our chaperones would lead a devotion and we’d learn something about God’s love for us. Before bed we’d make our way to the bathrooms (pit toilets – ick), but when you’re ten, is there anything more fun than running around at night with a flashlight, regardless of the destination? I don’t think so…

After we snuggled into our flannel sleeping bags underneath the protection of our canvas tents, we’d talk about other things, important things  – boys and life – all of the things we’d seen, heard, tried; things we knew (or thought we knew); and all the things we still wondered about. Sometimes a quiet game of truth or dare would erupt. Now that I’m an adult and I know how thin canvas actually is, I can’t help but wonder if our adult chaperones heard every single thing we ever confessed… hmmm… I really hope not!

During the day, if the weather was hot, we begged to spend our time at the beach. We’d spread our towels in a cluster on the sand, continuing our conversations from the previous night. (As a side note, the day I visited the park, girls still stood and sat in clusters, whispering about – well, who really knows? But I (for one) have got a few guesses…) In the water, we’d take turns doing hand stands, and some brave girls dove from the raft. As we grew older, though, some no longer wanted to get their hair wet… ah, youth…  we (or society?) give ourselves so little time to be completely young and carefree… Why is that?

And at the end of a long afternoon, we’d hike our way back up a huge hill (which still looks very huge by the way) starving and ready for dinner - ready to repeat another campfire, another songfest, (and my own personal favorite part) another night in the confines of our tent. I still know some of those young women now, and can honestly say that when you share so many confidences over the years – from friend troubles to family issues to boys, and yes, especially  God - true and lasting relationships formed and continue to this day.

At 52 years old, as I stood by my idling car, taking pictures of this long-ago place from my childhood, I silently gave so much credit to our adult volunteers. They took three days and two nights of their summer, so that we could have these early camping and bonding experiences. As kids we may not have always appreciated every minute that they gave. Between giggling our fool heads off, complaining some, and even a bout or two of tears (we were pre-teen girls after all) I truly do value those days now, and thank each of the adults for the efforts they made.

As I wound my way back down the hill, glanced back at the beach and drove away, I felt so glad that I’d visited the park that day. Sometimes things change to the point that we no longer recognize them; and sometimes they stay exactly the same. And I guess there’s a time for both…

… a time for every purpose under Heaven.

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com    

Tweetfest, Part I - Make a Band Famous

The events I’ve outlined in the following blog post are true (sort of).  MAYBE I’ve added some embellishments, maybe some humor. Read and see which is which. YOU be the judge.

Around the middle of May I got a phone call from my son Tony, who (as you know) now lives in Nashville. He had some news for me. “I entered a contest, and out of 2,700-plus entries, I placed in the top 60.”

“What? You’re kidding! Who, what, where, when, why?” Yes, my traditional game of 20 questions kicked in immediately.

“Well, it’s a contest for VH1 and Republic Records – Make a Band Famous. The grand prize is a record deal with Republic. I submitted a 15-second video of me playing “America to Go” filmed at Eddie’s Attic in Atlanta. I was chosen from my video…”

“Wow, that is just great! So what happens next?”

“Well, (long pause here) they want people to vote… on Twitter…”

(Cue the crickets.) Dead silence echoed from my end of the phone as I contemplated the meaning of his last sentence. Finally I said, “But who tweets? I mean nobody in the family does – Grampa, Aunt C… (I listed approximately eighteen more people here…)

“Yeah, I don’t know, but those are the rules. I mean Molly tweets for the Lucky Fin Project, and Lesleigh and I tweet…” Then he reminded me, “Mom, I helped you set up a Twitter account like five years ago!” (Of course that was true – not that I’d used Twitter much to that point, but still…)

So I said, “Okay, well we’ll see what happens I guess…” We continued to talk of other things, but my mind kept drifting back to that silly dormant Twitter account. I silently vowed to figure out exactly how to tweet now that a record deal hung in my son’s balance.

I went to the “VH-1 Make a Band Famous” website and saw the box with Tony’s picture. I watched the 15-second video. Sigh… how I do love my kids… Hesitantly, I pressed the word “Vote” under his hashtag #tonymemmel name. I thought that perhaps I could dodge the system - that I’d be able to vote in this simple manner rather than via Twitter. Maybe they’d see I was his mom and I wouldn’t require the whole “Twitter approach.” But nope - no cigar! A message popped up prompting me that I needed my Twitter password and account info. DRATS! Rats are bad, but in my opinion, Drats are much worse!

Later that day I slowly circled my computer, and after staring at it for some time, finally sat down. I cracked my knuckles and wiggled my fingers; cocked my neck first left and then right to loosen my stiff upper back and shoulder muscles. As a warm-up, I checked my ‘laptop usuals:’ two e-mail accounts, Facebook of course, my blog stats, Tony’s Youtube hits, Linkedin, and my book’s Amazon numbers. Realizing it was time and that I’d stalled long enough, I slowly typed in “T W I …” and my very intelligent laptop prompted me with “Twitter.” Okay, yes, fine, I want Twitter! I pressed enter. I thought back to 2009, when Tony first started the account with me. I took a stab at my Account name and password based on what was happening back then. I got IN! Triumph overtook me. I did it, I did it, now I can vote. So the first thing I did was click back to the #MABF website and pressed vote. This time I had success. I voted! I voted! I contributed to the cause!

I continued down this menial tweet path for a few days. I learned that I needed to change a word or two each time I voted so that the system recognized I wasn’t a robot. I began to feel creative: “I just voted, WE just voted, Todd just voted, Millie (our cat) just voted, Lillie (our other cat) just voted…” and so on. Though I was the only one home, I glanced over my shoulder as if saying are you seeing this? Can you see that I’m tweetin’ up a storm over here???

Next, to mix things up, Tony informed me that he and the gang were hosting actual Twitter conversations. He said I didn’t have to 'just' vote on the MABF site, but could join the group. I begged off at first, but in the end I joined just to learn the routine through re-tweets.  

 I’m not going to lie. Twitter moves fast, my friends. It was not for amateurs, let me tell you. Between the new comments, the re-tweets, the favorites and the replies, my head was spinning. But before I knew it I was getting even more creative, adding pictures from my brand new I-Phone, using phrases such as, “This bird is tweeting for #tonymemmel #mabf,” and “This owl wants to know whoooo you’re voting for #tonymemmel #mabf.” Todd and I went boating over Memorial Day weekend, so I used this, “Can you tweet while you float? Yes, I’m tweeting on my boat #tonymemmel #mabf.” The phrases were endless. I tweeted about the baby robins in our yard who were learning to fly from their nest. I tweeted about Tony’s albums, his song lyrics, and what they meant. I tweeted about my book, why I wrote it, who I wrote it for… You name it, baby I tweeted it (well, maybe not EVERY thing, but lots of things… )

As the days and weeks (3 ½ to be precise) picked up steam, so many people were on board with our cause. I met people on Twitter from all over the country because when Tony announced the contest to his Facebook and Twitter followers, telling them he needed their help, they heard his tweeting call and flocked to their computers to help. People he’d met through his work with the Lucky Fin Project, old friends from high school, college, our home church, symphonies and choirs, Lesleigh’s parents and her nurse friends. People tweeted from as far northwest as Washington state, and as far southeast as Florida. And did I mention most points in between? I’m afraid to list all of the states because I don’t want to leave one out. Suffice to say that folks over the span of 3,000 American miles tweeted for #tonymemmel #mabf. No lie!

Every day I thought, we’re probably okay with tweets now. I can probably stop. I can probably stop any time I want. But then I’d think why? Who’d want to miss out on all of the action? As it turned out, not me!

Stay tuned for Part II - The #MABF Competition

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference." For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

Megan (and Clara) are Graduating!

Okay, so, how’s everybody doing today? Memorial Day is already way behind us, and summer is here full-force - at least it will be as soon as our city’s school district is done with school on June 12. Our winter was so harsh that the kids have to go a few days longer than usual. Isn’t it funny how it always seems great in January to miss a day of school, but such a drag in June???  

Speaking of being “done with school,” we have some great news! At the end of May our daughter, Megan, finished her last days of college. She is graduating from Walden University (with honors!) with her Bachelor’s Degree in Human Resources. Todd and I are both so happy for her and very proud… Megan did college a bit differently than some. But here we are, and what a story it is to tell!

Back when Meg was a senior in high school (2007), she had her heart set on going away to a great big university. UW-Madison, which is only about 70 miles west of our home, was by far her top choice. She also applied to UW-Milwaukee (too close to home and hosted too many local kids from high school) and the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities (50,000 plus, a small city in and of itself). Though her senior class ranking was in the top 20% of her class, she had extra-curricular activities and a ‘decent’ ACT score, she did not get accepted into Madison. (disappointment) (sigh) 

She decided to head west and go to Minnesota, which is about 250 miles from our home. Thankfully she was assigned a great roommate with whom she bonded and connected. But the plan didn’t work out quite as she thought it would. For a number of reasons, (our family had so many things happen that year) she decided to finish out her freshman year there, but then come back home to live. 

During the middle of her Minnesota year, one Sunday afternoon Todd and I got a long-distance phone call from our (now) son-in-law, Joe. He asked that we each get on an extension, then told us he’d like to ask Megan to marry him. He asked for our blessing. Yes, they were young, and yes there was a lot to consider; but they’d known each other quite a while, and seemed very compatible and happy. Long story short, we said “Yes” and wished him well… 

The two got engaged in January of 2008, and she finished up her year at Minnesota. Ultimately, she achieved her Associate’s degree here in Waukesha, Wis. in 2009. It was the craziest timeline of events… Listen to this…

Saturday, December 12 – Joe graduates from college at MI Tech (in the UP). We all attend.
Wednesday, December 16 – Megan graduates from college here in town. We all attend. ;)
Friday, December 18 – Joe and Megan’s Rehearsal Dinner at our church. We all attend.
Saturday, December 19 – Joe and Megan’s wedding at our church. We all attend.
Sunday, December 20 – Joe and Megan’s gift opening at our house. We all attend.
“The Holidays” We all attend.

The prettiest bride I've ever seen!

During New Year’s the two left for their honeymoon and were gone for a week. We did not attend. ;) The day after they got back, Joe had a job interview lined up with Kimberly Clark. He flew to Philadelphia.  Later that day I got a text message… “I got the job.” (Tears) (happy and …)

In the timeframe of about six weeks, these two had gone through most of life’s major events. College graduations, marriage, honeymoon, new job, and finally, moving across the country away from absolutely everyone they knew. Joe accepted the job in Pennsylvania, they packed up their belongings and headed east. 

If you know me at all, you know how important my family is to me, and you know how much I miss these two. But Todd and I also agree that everyone needs to go where the work is. In that terrible 2010 job market, Joe was offered a great job in his field (Electrical Engineer) and they needed to go. I was happy they were married and could now live and figure out life, together. We missed them like crazy, but knew they'd be okay!

Megan has worked at a number of jobs – retail, banking, a vet clinic. But when the kids got transferred up to New Milford, Connecticut, and it looked like they’d be there a while, she got a job, but also decided to do what it took to finish her Bachelor’s Degree. She enrolled with Walden, and began her schooling – one intensive six-week class at a time - over and over and over. On top of all of that they purchased their first home. As you can see, she’s one busy woman - homeowner, wife, working full time, college classes… PLUS she and Joe decided to raise the “Guiding Eyes” dog, Clara. Remember her? To refresh your memory, here’s the link to Clara’s story: http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2013/12/thanksgiving-part-three-clara.html

 

Joe and Megan (tearfully) parted with Clara last December (2013) and she went to see where her lofty special life might lead her. It was determined that Clara would not be working with “Guiding Eyes” program after all.” Instead, since she has quite a nose on her, she will be working/sniffing with the ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms).  Megan was just notified of Clara’s graduation date with ATF, and plans to attend the event in Virginia later this summer (2014). 

So… After two-and-a-half years of her own schooling, after counting down class after class, finally getting notice that she was finishing, taking that last and final exam… Megan’s graduating with her degree in Human Resources – and already found a brand new job to boot! AND the same week Meg was finishing, she was notified of Clara’s graduation date too. I mention this in the same paragraph and practically in the same breath because the dog and its placement is almost as important to her as her own situation – True! Joe and Megan fostered the dog from the age of ten weeks to 18 months. They have so much training, work, care, love and emotion invested in Clara. They want her to do what she was born to do – Help Others!  She may even save lives! Go Clara! 

I’ve said this before and will probably say it again… but there are so many people in this world doing extraordinary things. They work so hard to make a better life – not just for themselves – but for others. 

And as for Todd and me, we could not be more proud of all these events. Way to go, Megan! Congratulations! We can’t wait to see what’s next…

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference." For more information, visit her website www.katiekolbergmemmel.com