Hi everybody!
How’re y’all doing? We’re doing well, actually. Yes, 2023
was one heck-of-a-year around here, but we’re putting it in our rearview and pressing
forward.
I’ve been thinking. I don’t believe I ever blogged about the fact that Todd, my husband of 42-plus years, has retired. He formally retired at the end of 2022. know, I know… it’s an awfully big life change to not have mentioned, yet lots of “other life” snuck in and took over the front burners of our schedule for a long while. Now that things are settling down, I figured that today, I’d catch you up.
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| Ten people = lots of shoes! |
Back in October, as our family discussed who would host Christmas this year, it sounded good to both of our kids’ families to come up to Wisconsin. Since both sets of in-laws also live in this area, it’s nice to connect with their other families as well. Todd and I accepted the host/hostess challenge, which included deciding how we might “sleep” ten people in our house – six adults, three little kids, and a baby.
As all of these dates, plans, and people-shuffling ideas
started to form, I had a light-bulb moment. Last year, there hadn’t been a good
time for everyone to be in town together to fully acknowledge Todd’s
retirement. Perhaps the holiday season could be the perfect time for us to throw
him that “Surprise Retirement Party” I’d been contemplating! I talked with the
kids and they said it sounded good, so I started making calls and crunching
numbers. December 26th seemed like a perfect day for our family, so I
rolled up my sleeves and began the invitation process.
This blog entry would not be complete without some history about Todd and work – a complicated pairing, indeed. I’ll start by saying that both he and I were raised in families who worked hard and saw jobs through to completion. From grass-cutting to babysitting, whatever jobs we undertook, we learned what we could from them.
In January of 1979, 45 years ago, Todd started his Sheet
Metal Apprenticeship. About a year
later, in February of 1980, Todd and I met - he was 19 and I was 18. I was
working at the Miller Brewing Company, doing secretarial work. Both of us were employed
and happy in our jobs.
We fell in love, so in September of 1981, Todd and I said our “I do’s”.
Those first few months of marriage were fun and care-free. Then, just three
months into our marriage, he received his first lay-off notice. Our life no
longer felt as fun or as care-free. We bickered more often, and I admit that these
sessions were not very helpful, likely making our situation even worse. It took
three long months for him to get called to a new company. Our hopes rose. Maybe
this will be the end to the unemployment… but no. The placement didn’t last
long. He received another lay-off. He hated what was happening. All he wanted was
to work full-time, accumulate the hours needed to graduate from his
apprenticeship, and finally become a journeyman.
In that tough early-1980’s job market, the way to
permanent employment would be to make himself indispensable. The trade needed
welders, so he enrolled in a night class to help him beef up his welding
skills. His strategy worked and he was hired. Welding wasn’t/isn’t easy or
glamorous. Despite the protective gear he wore, he came home every day with
burn holes in his jeans and t-shirts. But his dedication impressed me. He knew
what he wanted and needed, and went after it. He was no longer unemployed.
He liked his new company. Initially, he welded, but
then grew into a whole different aspect of the trade – service. They gave him a
van to drive and a schedule of appointments to keep. With lay-offs, he’d lost
about six months, but eventually he graduated from his apprenticeship. The
union ended up inviting Todd to teach night school. For many years, after working
a full day at his job, he’d then teach up-and-coming apprentices one night a
week. He could earn more money in those four hours of teaching than I could
have earned in ten hours of part-time secretarial work. Over the decades, many young people have
approached me, saying how much they appreciated Todd’s teaching, leadership and
mentorship in the trades. It always meant a lot to me, knowing that the
sacrifice we made of him being away from us (his family), was helping others.
Woven into all of this school and work, other life
experiences were happening, too. We bought a house and remodeled it. We became
parents to our two children: Tony (our son) was born in 1985 and Megan (our
daughter) was born in 1988. From early-on in our relationship, Todd and I worked
toward me being a stay-at-home mom. Todd confesses that from the minute he
watched our kids come into the world, a deep fatherly responsibility settled
over him. It was no longer just him and me – no, we were now a family, and he
(mostly) would be financially responsible. That was our goal. He took that very
seriously. Finally, we sold our house and moved to an apartment while we built
another home which he actually designed - from scratch! The kids started school
and lots of other activities. Life really took off.
At work, Todd became a boss - a man that other
employees reported to, and relied on for employment. Remembering his own
feelings about those early lay-offs, he felt deep responsibility to keep “his guys”
employed; no longer working for just himself and our family, but also for a
crew of other people who needed to feed their families, too.
During his years in the trades, he learned many
aspects of the work. From his earliest days of sweeping floors, to hanging
ductwork, welding, being “on call” for service, teaching, bidding and running
jobs, and even attending engineering classes at MSOE to obtain licensing; to
finally becoming a partial/co-owner of a mechanical contractor. What a career
it’s been!
Work held a top spot in Todd’s priorities. How could
it not? But… to be honest, I personally experienced a love/hate relationship
with Todd’s work ethic. On the one hand, I respected and was proud of him. Nobody
would or could ever refer to him as lazy. I fully understood that the kids and
I relied on him (almost solely) for income, and benefitted the most from all he
did. Yet… we also took the biggest hits where his work was concerned.
Vacationing became more stressful than simply staying
home and having Todd go to work. We can laugh about it now, but he actually
closed a big deal on a payphone (pre-cell phone days) at Walt Disney World in
Florida. All we wanted was for him to ride “The Pirates of the Caribbean” with
us, but he wouldn’t hang up. That said, we continued to go through the motions
of him taking time off, always hoping for those special moments that only
vacations can bring. The best trip our family ever took was in March of 2001.
We flew to Mexico for a week’s stay at an all-inclusive resort. His cell phone usage
was not yet international so he couldn’t work. We had a whole week with
him to ourselves – snorkeling, playing volleyball, eating, drinking… relaxing! It
was the best family get-away we ever spent.
As the kids grew up, I was able to attend most of their soccer/baseball games, marching band competitions, band and choir concerts, school plays, and church activities. Todd came whenever he could, and even coached soccer for a couple of seasons. Are the kids resentful of all the work their dad put in? There may have been days that was true, but overall, I don’t think so. Now that they’re parents, they stay mindful of how much work they invest themselves in; perhaps striving for a better work/play balance than our own family achieved. But they’re also both aware that work must take a high priority in order to keep a growing family fed, clothed, educated, churched, and active.
Back to present day… Christmas at the Memmel’s this year was crazy but joy-filled. On the morning of the surprise party, Megan said she had a terrible headache. My mind raced, wondering if after all of the planning, she’d even be able to attend. As life would have it, she could not go. Her husband, Joe, and kids were there. Tony, Lesleigh and the boys were there, but not her. What could we do except to keep going? Eighty people, everyone from family, neighbors, friends, and work acquaintances, were planning to attend; all of them ready to honor Todd for all of the work he’d accomplished during his 43 years of dedicated employment. It had to be celebrated.
Sooo… Happy Retirement, Todd! We’re all proud of the
man you were, are, and always will be. You’ve accomplished so much. Here’s to
many new endeavors and projects in the years ahead!
Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference” (Now a 10-Year Anniversary Edition with Photos); “From This Day Forward…”; and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff”. All three books are available through Amazon as either a paperback or electronic version. Visit Katie’s website for more information. www.katiekolbergmemmel.com
