Friday, June 26, 2015

We've Come a Long Way, Baby...


Good morning!                    
 

I just love a good Friday morning in June, don’t you? It’s summertime, it’s almost the weekend, it just feels so… “hopeful,” doesn’t it?  

Speaking of “hopeful,” I had a neat experience recently. About a week ago, I spoke with my daughter, Megan, on the phone and asked what she and Joe were up to. She said that they were going for a maternity photo shoot.  

Oh, okay… I thought. Now don’t get me wrong - I’ve seen the types of photos that she was referring to; but I’ve got to tell you that just a generation ago…? We did not participate in this sort of shoot. Something has happened over the course of 20-30 years that has added this category to the photo shoot list of musts: engagement photos, wedding photos, maternity photos, newborn photos, 3/6/9/12-month photos, family photos, pet(?) photos…
Me and Baby Tony at my Baby Shower  

For us, an engagement photo meant that some night before going out to dinner, if we looked a little better than usual, and if we were engaged at the time, one of our parents pointed the camera at us and said, “Say cheese…” Because we still bought and used rolls of film, there was a good chance that one of us had our eyes shut, was talking, or was reaching for the camera. Two photos were usually clicked “just in case.” The photos often sat in the camera for six months or better, usually until after the holiday season, when people took more pictures than usual. We then submitted the roll to Walgreens or Target or one of those little photo developing places in a parking lot, and waited a couple of days for developing. 

We did have a wedding photographer. Todd’s brother (Timm) agreed to follow us around on that day and snap shots of us – probably looking better than our usual selves. Again, after the wedding we took our five or six rolls of film to Walgreens and waited.
 
A maternity photo was usually snapped at our baby shower. I can’t speak for everyone, but at that time, having gained 50 or 60 pounds, I think my response was something like, “Do we have to take pictures today?” and of course we did have to. I felt so self-conscious, so unworthy of photo attention. The shots didn’t turn out so bad, and I’m glad I have them to show the kids, but my heart wasn’t really in to being photographed.  

A newborn’s photo was snapped in the hospital nursery. A photographer would go in, and while the baby had their little knit cap on, swaddled from head to toe in receiving blankets, snap a picture of their sweet little face. Sometimes hands were showing, sometimes just eyes, nose and mouth.
 
Tony and Megan after our one-hour photo shoot 'wait' 

I did take the kids to Sears for a six-month and a year-old photo. After that, we again relied on our own cameras most of the year. I remember one incident when the line (no appointments necessary) was so long that Tony got all sweated up playing for the hour prior. His hair is slicked back and I’m laughing right now as I type, remembering his rosy red cheeks and wet hair. Ah, the good ‘ol days… 

THEN, this week Megan posted some photos from that maternity shoot that I mentioned earlier.


Megan, Joe and Baby S


Maternity Photos: Keane Eye Photography, LLC 
 
This next generation is really on to something. The photos were absolutely beautiful. Some were posed, yes, but incredibly natural. Instead of a young woman waving the camera away (like I did all those years ago), she embraces the way she looks and the baby growing inside. The photographer also captured the love that Megan and Joe share. I remembered at the kids’ wedding, after they’d said their vows and walked back down the aisle of the church, I saw Joe pick up Megan and swing her around. That was the joy they shared that day, and these photos show the joy that they are sharing on this day – as they wait for their little Baby S to appear. It just seems so… “hopeful!”

My beautiful daughter and our grandchild... (sigh)

I was so impressed, and may I say, moved to tears? 

Where did my little girl go? I used to gather her hair into a ‘whale spout.’ She wore braces for several years. She got glasses when the school’s blackboard grew fuzzy. She dated, she married, and now she’s going to be a mama… 

I think that these photos are also extra special because we’ve had the thousand miles of physical distance between us. It’s a wide separation, and though we’ve seen her a couple of times this year, it’s been so special to visually witness this part of their present life.  

Can I ask you a favor? Baby S is supposed to arrive in less than three weeks. Please keep our family, especially Megan, Joe, and the baby, in your prayers.
 

Until we blog again…
 

 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference. For more information, visit her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

Thursday, June 4, 2015

To clean or not to clean...

Hello!
            I have a teensy tiny confession to make. This week, from out of the clear blue yonder, someone (a.k.a. my sister) “dropped in” on me. Now, you must try to understand… for Todd and me, and the way we “keep house,” dropping in is not our best or most favorable option. When my doorbell rings, I freeze, imagining every horrific scenario. It’s such a blasted conflict of interest too, because I really do enjoy visitors – and I really do enjoy my sister. I guess I just really really (really) need a heads-up – 24 hours is preferable, but even 30 minutes can get me a quick fix. 

Here’s the real deal, okay? (Take a deep breath here.) Todd and I are both a bit  (for lack of a better word, I’ll create one…) “Pack Ratty.” It’s true. It’s not like they’re going to film a reality TV show about us or anything (at least not yet…); but we really do have a lot of “stuff’” and our “stuff” may or may not be absolutely necessary to our day-to-day living. If you are unsure about your own state of “Pack-Ratty-ness,” allow me to provide you with a few examples, so that you can compare: 

When the kids lived here, we’d/I’d say things like, “Oh my gosh you guys, your rooms look terrible!” (The word “sty” may have even been used a time or two). Sometimes I’d make them a deal – usually at the beginning of summer vacation. “Tell you what – if you clean your rooms really well, I’ll buy you each one CD of your choice.” Each child, feeling encouraged by my offer, went to the kitchen cabinet and withdrew a big, black Hefty bag. They knew that along with the actual dusting and vacuuming associated with cleaning, also came the “let’s take a load of old clothes and toys to Goodwill.” The children would put on music and get down to work. 

I’d feel pretty good about myself. Here it was, mid-June, and I had the kids motivated to clean, plus they even “whistled while they worked.” I’d throw in a load of laundry, make a shopping list, and then meander down the hall to glance into their rooms, just to see how things were going. BIG mistake, BIG! 

I’d see a stack of items on my daughter’s bed and I’d point. “What are you doing with those?”
 
“That’s the start of my Goodwill pile,” she so innocently admitted.  

“What? You can’t get rid of this! (I’d hold up a sweater that was probably borderline too small on her.) I love this sweater on you! Remember the time you wore it with…?” And so on, and so forth, I’d give examples of how and why she couldn’t possibly get rid of whatever item was on the chopping block. Finally, she’d relent, and hang the sweater back in her closet. I hate to admit this, but these types of conversations took place until the day she got married and moved out. I do not believe that she is “Pack-Ratty” in her own home, like her dad and me. Time will certainly tell...  

It was surprising to me to find out that not all people act the way that we act. Who knew? Some people actually enjoy getting rid of clothing that doesn’t fit, and actually enjoy donating their kids’ old toys to people who’ll use them. For example, not everyone holds onto a high chair in their basement for twenty years because some day their five-year-old might have a child and bring that child over for dinner, and what will that child sit on then if we get rid of the high chair today?  Note: The high chair is now yellow and is heading to the dump this weekend because no child (grand or otherwise) would ever safely sit on it again. Did we learn our lesson? Hmmm…  

We’ve actually had some sane adult family members and friends who’ve offered to go into certain rooms in our home and dispose of items for us. Oh, the horror, oh, the trauma… “Absolutely not!” We exclaim. “We’ll be going into that room soon – very soon, and making the tough decisions for ourselves.” The sane ones nod as though they understand, but… I’m not really sure that they do. 

And just so that we’re clear – it’s not just me! Todd’s lower level, his section of the basement, is – well – let’s just say that it’s full. Every so often, on a rainy weekend, he’ll say, “I’m going into my workroom and I’m going to organize. If I’m not out in two hours, throw me a lifeline.” 

“Okay, Honey, you do that,” I say. I’m not sure of any real dent he’s ever made in the clutter, but I know that he loves to be in that room.  

On rainy days, many women like to clean. I do not. Rainy days are made for many things, but I’m afraid that cleaning is not one of them. Okay, obviously I’m kidding (a little bit anyway). The house isn’t that bad, but I do enjoy just about any other activity more than housework. 

One thing is true though – once you’ve been caught – once that doorbell rings and it’s not the FedEx man – once that porch person says, “Suuure, I’ve got an extra half hour and I’d love to come in for a Diet Pepsi” – you’re totally busted, my friend. It makes you stop and re-evaluate your time management skills. It makes you want to drag out the broom, the mop and the 409, the vacuum and the webster/duster thing, and get down to business. 

But it’s a funny thing – just as soon as she left that day, my phone rang. It was my daughter. The sweet sound of her far-away voice said, “Hi Mama Llama, how are you today?” and all thoughts of grime removal washed permanently from my brain.” 

“Hi Hon, I’m good – how are you? How’s the baby?” … And an hour later, scouring the bathroom was the furthest subject from my mind. 

I’ve never had a particularly immaculately clean home – that is true. But I do like to think that I’ve always taken time out for the people and activities that matter the most to me: My husband, my kids, pets, church activities, writing, reading books (or anything else), going to movies, watching TV, meeting friends for coffee, talking on the phone, going for walks… ;)  I think you catch my drift…  

Have a wonderful day! 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – a Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference. For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com