So… Something really neat happened to me last week,
and I wanted to share it with all of you. First, let me ask you this. Have you
ever wondered if the things that you do really matter? Will anyone ever truly
benefit from something I do (or write?), or is it all just kinda “out there”?
As a Christian, I know that the answer is YES! Of course, with God’s guidance,
the things we do (or write!) really can matter. We may never realize the effect
our actions have on others, but nothing is just “out there”. While I do know
this, sometimes it feels as though our best efforts fall flat. Until last week,
that is…
Take for example… back in the summer of 2015, I began
writing my second book, “From This Day Forward…” I’d had a deep feeling – a
“calling” maybe – that it was something I should absolutely do. If you recall,
the book is comprised of eight in-depth interviews with couples and individuals
who have (or had) lived their lives in Christ-centered marriages. Some met and
married young, some lived well into old age. One story follows a couple who
each suffered through rough divorces, then found each other, which led to a
blessed second chance. Another describes the heartbreak of infertility, which
eventually led to four loving adoptions. There’s even a story of a widow and
widower who found deep love for a second time around.
Each of our discussions, which I voice-recorded, took
about five hours. After our talks, I sat down and transcribed each of them,
weaving what they’d said into their own individual love story. On a personal
level, that experience has enriched my own life/marriage more than simple words
can say. The wisdom I absorbed while listening to each interviewee – watching
their facial expressions, feeling their emotions, the highs and lows - was
life-changing for me. After the book released in 2018, I had people tell me how
one story or another had affected them, too. However, after the book’s initial launch
surge, it didn’t sell many copies. I came to terms with the fact that the book (I
was sure I was meant to write) would be there for whomever needed it, whenever
they needed it, but was unlikely to ever be a best-seller. It bothered me a
little, but I guess I felt okay.
Back in February, at the age of 91, one of my
interview participants passed away. She and I had attended a Bible Study
together at our church for more than 25 years. Yes, we had a 30-year age
difference, but she was my friend, and she was with God now. Though I hadn’t
seen her as much as I used to, I knew I’d always miss her. I felt deeply fortunate
to have spent all those precious hours talking with her, listening to her as
she reminisced about her life, her family, her love(s); then having the ability
to transcribe it all and share it. Talk about time well-spent. When the book
was finished and I handed her the beautiful printed copy with her love story(ies)
inside, she loved it. Rumor has it that she “treasured” it. Wow, you
know?
Last Saturday, I attended her memorial service. I
appreciated what the pastor said about my old friend, which brought me a few
laughs, and tears, too. Afterwards, on my way to the door, I greeted a few old
friends I hadn’t seen in a while. From the back of the room, a man approached
me. He introduced himself as a distant cousin of my friend, and asked me how I’d
known her. I felt a little surprised to be meeting this stranger – like why
is he approaching me? Anyway, I said hello, introduced myself, and
explained I was a friend of hers from Bible Study. He then pointed toward a
whole group of people (distant cousins, reunited) and asked if I’d take a few pictures
of them all.
Hmmm… It was a different
protocol for me, at a funeral, to take group photos of folks I’d never met, but
I ultimately smiled and said, “Sure, of course!” Every person in the cluster –
probably a dozen? – handed me their individual phone so they could all have their
own shot. As you can imagine, there was joking and laughing as I reminded them
to smile and counted to three, over and over again. In the end, I was glad he’d
approached me, and that I could help them out.
As I shrugged on my coat, a woman emerged from the
group, came up to me, and quietly asked me how I knew our friend who’d passed.
I explained that for many years we’d been in a Bible Study together at church.
“Did you know her well?” She asked, her eyes growing
teary. “What can you tell me about her? I let too much time slip by, and now
it’s too late for me to talk with her.”
Oh my… I felt sad for the
woman. It’s that “tale as old as time”, isn’t it? We’ve all been there; letting
too much time slip by, and then it’s too late to talk to the friend or loved
one who’s passed away.
But think about it… in this particular case, I was
someone who could answer this woman quite thoroughly. In fact, what are the
chances that I was the one person they approached to photograph their group at
all? Of all the people in the room – probably close to 100 others, WHY was I
the one they asked?
“I knew her very well,” I smiled. “In fact, a few
years ago I sat down and interviewed her for a book project I was writing on
Christian marriage.”
My new friend seemed so relieved, almost giddy! “You
got to interview her? What did she say? What can you tell me? How can I read
the book?”
She seemed so happy as I wrote down my name and the
book’s title. She said she knew how to access Amazon and that she’d be ordering
her copy soon. I thanked her, too, and wished her well.
It was time for me to leave the funeral, so I waved
good-bye to my new “friends”. At that same time, I whispered a little prayer,
thanking God for His goodness. I knew His hand was solidly in this
“coincidence”. In fact, the women in that Bible Study (and I) always refer to this
type of coincidental happening as a “God incident”; a crazy turn of events, all
seemingly unrelated, but actually line up to make perfect sense. How amazing was
it that I was present, and could help that woman fill in some of the blanks of
this old relationship? She needed to know more about her friend, and through the
book I’d written, she was going to be able to learn so much about what she’d
missed.
Some might say, “Right place, right time.” I’d have to
answer, “No, no, no…” I firmly believe that God used me and my book at
the exact right place and exact right time. There’s a difference. After all, since
I believe He “called” me to write the book, I also believe He will arrange ways
for it to be used for His good purpose. Nothing “out there” about that.
By the way, the woman ordered the book from Amazon the
very next day. I hope and pray that as she reads, she finds the answers (and the
peace) that she’s looking for….
As always, have good days! Love, Katie
Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of
three books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born
with a Limb Difference” (Ten-Year Anniversary Edition – Now with Photos!); “Silly
Stories and Sentimental Stuff”; and “From This Day Forward – True Love Stories
Shared Through Interviews”. Each is available through Amazon in a Kindle or
paperback version. For more information about Katie, please visit her website
at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com
