Here's to the Next 40! Cheers!

Hi All!

I cannot beLIEVE that it is the end of August already! Next week is Labor Day weekend, and schools are starting, and vacations are ending, and summer is (almost) over, and and and…

On a whole, I’ve had a wonderful summer. How about ya’lls? As I shared with you in my last blog post, (http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2016/07/blogging-thru-difficult.html) you know that we had some tough stuff happen early on, but… well, the weather has been quite lovely – downright hot at times! Plus, we were able to do some boating and we were able to see our whole family. I’ve learned that even when life gets difficult, we all must somehow look for the positive. Agreed? Agreed!

And through it all, I want you to know that I have continued to lose weight. In my blog post last fall (http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2015/10/decisions-decisions-and-action.html) I announced I was going to try, and even asked for tips from my readers. Last spring I gave an update and shared some stumbling blocks I’ve faced throughout my weight loss attempts of the past (http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2016/04/weight-just-minute.html) And now I’m here to say that even through funerals, houseguests, mini vacations, and work, I’ve managed to stay the course and continue to lose. As of this morning, I have lost (drum roll please) 40 pounds.

It’s hard to say exactly when I started because I think it was sort of gradual – sort of a realization that it was time. But I can certainly say it was around the end of September – so 11 months. I lost my first 20 by Christmas Eve, so it has taken me about 8 months to lose my second 20. Years ago, that would have been enough to make me hang up my scale… but no more. In February a Facebook friend of mine from childhood, asked if anyone wanted to do a “sit-up” challenge for the month. I thought it might be a great way to begin something I’d been meaning to start – floor exercise. He challenged us with the manageable goal of doing ten per day for the month.

I admitted to him at the end of February that I hadn’t been able to do them EVERY day, but I’d done it for at least five days a week. Again, simply being able to admit I’m not perfect (I know, it’s hard to believe) was a step in the right (and certainly positive) direction for me. PLUS, I continued to add to my regiment. I now do about 25 minutes of exercises per day – five to six days a week. Now, when I miss, my body seems to crave it – the bending and stretching, the lifting, kicking, and crunching.

There was quite a stretch this summer when I realized I hadn’t dropped a pound in a while, but over that same period, I’d also been able to fit into a pair of shorts that hadn’t fit for a few years. It was exactly the nudge I needed to continue. I knew that if my shorts now fit, something good was happening overall. Then, in the past five or six weeks, I’ve actually lost five pounds… all I can say is YAY! My “not-quitting” served my body quite well this time.

Also, I must say that in weight loss attempts of the past, I’ve lost significantly more weight than 40 pounds in this amount of time. BUT I’m older now. In fact, I will celebrate “Double Nickels” (55) next week! I’ll also admit that, probably because of where I am in life age-wise, the pounds don’t always come off where I’d like them to come off - AKA my mid-section. It’s frustrating…! It’s MORE than frustrating…! But I figure that I’ll keep at the difficult areas with a bit more exercise. What else can I do, right?

Yesterday, I was joking around with an old friend of mine. I confessed that I have a pile of clothing bags stacked in the corner of my bedroom. In them you’ll find every size I’ve worn over the past 18 years, and baby, there are lots of sizes. I also told her that I can remember a lot of details of my life by the weight I was at any given time – not even kidding!

At this stage of my life, it’s been interesting to go through the bags, item by item. I’ve needed to get real (and get rid) of quite a few items. Styles have changed considerably, not to mention that someone who’s now in their mid-50’s really doesn’t look good in a skirt from the year 2000 – even if it does fit. Some things are just best left alone. If you don’t believe me, I’ll simply say this… Wait!

And so, here we are. Most days I wake up and try to approach the new morning with a positive attitude. I’m living minute by minute, meal by meal. If I overeat at lunch, I pull back a bit at dinner. It all seems so sensible and do-able. Because I’m not basing my life on counting calories or points, it just all seems so much more like living. If I was in a hurry or in a race, I’d choose a different plan. But because I’m trying to be in this for the long haul, I’m pleased with my first 40, and feel so much better than I did 40 pounds ago.

Let’s raise a glass and toast, “Here’s to the next 40 – however long it takes!”

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of two books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” Both are available in electronic and paperback versions.  https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Katie+Kolberg+Memmel 

Blogging Thru the Difficult...

Well hello!  

I hope that your summers are going along smoothly, and that all of you are having the times of your lives. I recently realized that it’s been quite a long while since I wrote a blog post, and committed to myself that today would be the day. So here I am… but let me confess to you, here and now, that it may be a little different than usual.

So much has been happening lately – both in the world, as well as personally. For me, as a person who tends to write more on the silly side of the fence than on the serious side, I finally realized what might be happening. It’s difficult for me to write in those light-hearted ways when there are so many sad and serious things happening around me – around all of us. So rather than stop blogging, I decided to share a post with you about what I’ve been feeling and thinking about lately.  

To me it would seem awkward delivering some crazy piece of writing about my family or my random thoughts on life, when ‘somewhere out there’ lies a tragedy. My heart has felt so heavy for so many who have had serious loss lately. Each and every day the World, National, State, and Local News shows broadcast terrible acts of crime and violence.  

Closer to home, earlier this spring, our own family faced a very sudden death. My husband’s brother died at the age of 58 from a massive heart attack. One minute he’d been laughing and talking with his wife, the next, gone. We faced the funeral together, as his siblings and our other loved ones came to town. His death made me examine things that had happened in the past, things that were happening in our present, and even what lies ahead for the future. The thoughts that came to me strongest during that time were “Don’t wait! If you’ve got something to say, say it. If you’ve got something to do, do it. If you owe someone an apology or a thank you, issue it! Write the letter, and place the phone call! None of us ever knows.” I know that these are not new thoughts - people talk about it all of the time. I, personally, tend to live that way pretty often, but not everyone does. It’s good advice, and worth putting into practice because the truth is, (seriously now!) none of us ever knows. My brother-in-law certainly didn't. 

Then, in mid-June, a family at my church experienced a terrible loss. Their son, just 14 years old, out of school for summer vacation about two days, drowned. Yeah, I know… it was absolutely shocking and so very sad. I didn’t know the boy well, but I know the extended family very well. In broad terms I’ll say that every heart in our congregation went out (and continues to go out) to them all. Their/our church home truly rallied, and helped out in ways that were generous with time, talents, and treasures. There’s so little to do for someone who is grieving such a loss, but so many did whatever they could. As you can see, it’s still on my mind and in my heart – probably always will be. Some things, and some people, we just never forget. 

In and around all of the heavy and sad things, however, circle life’s biggest blessings…

Yes, we suffered a familial loss this year, but at the same time, new life came into our family as well – Jakey! He celebrated his first birthday last week, right here in Wisconsin! It was so special to be able to be part of the big day. We have found that seeing his silly four-tooth smile puts silly smiles on all of our faces too.  

During the entire month of May, Tony and Lesleigh traveled to South and Central America for the American Music Abroad program, and acted as U.S. Ambassadors for music. How cool was that??? I looked forward every day to seeing their posts and pictures, and to be able to share in their experience. They traveled safely, performed their music and spoke publicly two to three times each day, and experienced overall good health. Their experience gives our family much to celebrate, and much to be proud of.  

Some new news that I’ll be talking about a lot more often, is that our son-in-law, Joe, has received a new work opportunity through his present employer. Joe, Megan and Jakey will be moving from Connecticut over the next couple of months to a new location. Keep your eyes peeled to see more details as they unfold. But in the meantime, we are all so grateful for a good job, new opportunities, their health and happiness as a little family.  

And it’s interesting to me… through all of the difficult things that happen, and all of the good and blessed things that happen, relationships can deepen and strengthen. When you go through things together, it changes everything. I’m counting all of that as additional blessings.  

One of my favorite Bible verses is in Romans 8, starting at verse 28… “In all things God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose… If God is for us, then who can be against us?” I’ve learned that we are not always dealt “good things” in this life – far from it. But God works in all things and brings good through all things, to those who love Him. All things…  even the worst. 

And so we go on – living through the sad some days by focusing on the blessings, and trusting that somehow, everything will work out. 

Smile, Cry, Listen, Talk, Laugh, Grieve, Live, Live, Live!!! Oh, and have good days!!! 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of two books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” Both are available through Amazon in electronic as well as paperback form.

Katie's View of Walking...

Hellooooo!

How is everybody doing today? I’m good – really good, actually, so I wanted to share some of the random thoughts that I’ve been having, over the past couple of days.

Our Waukesha, Wis. spring “just might” be happening, right now, as we speak. We have a dove nested in our basketball hoop, and a multitude of birds at our feeder each day. Our trees are blooming, and dandelions are popping up. The sky is blue, the grass is very green, and the temperature is … (looks around as if to tell a secret) in the 60’s! Woo hoo!  In fact, the weather is so nice that it has prompted me to “Get up offa my thing,” and go for a walk – outside! In my neighborhood! In fact, I went yesterday and I went today.

In the past, I’ve questioned how I could make walking in my own neighborhood more interesting. Some of you know what I’m talking about, right? As with so many things in our lives, we often do what’s most comfortable – walk downhill first, so that once we make our loop, we’ll be heading downhill again and avoid walking uphill at all – or whatever your equivalent to that scenario may be. I’ve even considered driving to a new neighborhood, parking, and walking around there instead, which is actually a fun thing to do! It’s just that some days we simply want to take our walk and get back to whatever work or fun is calling our name that particular day.

I’ve always thought it fascinating that Todd and I almost always go uphill when we go somewhere in our car. Nothing is 100%, but most of the time, it’s true. On the flip side, our neighbor friends, who live just three houses to our south, almost always drive downhill when they go somewhere in their car. So even though we may shop at the same grocery store, we tend to take a different route to get there. Our friends would ask something like, “Did you see what’s going on at the park?” And we’d shake our heads no. Or we’d say, “Did you see what they’re doing at the school?” And they’d shake their heads no. For neighbors who live on the exact same block, and have the exact same destination, we often see things in our everyday-worlds quite differently.

So, I’ve decided to challenge myself. And, if you’re good at reading in between the lines, I’ve decided to challenge you too! How about the next time you head out on your normal everyday route, to do your normal everyday things, do something else…!? Shake things up a little! Walk on the other side of the street! Walk uphill first instead of the opposite! Or, if you really want to shake things up, do both! Take a new route altogether! If you only have 30 minutes, walk 15 minutes in a new direction, pivot, and walk back. You’ll see a whole new view in a very short period of time – all within a mile or so of home.  

When I told someone that I was going to write these thoughts, they asked me if I meant it all literally, or if this ‘walking scenario’ was some sort of metaphor for viewing life. As with most of my random bloggy thoughts, my answer to their question, of course, is “Yes!”

Have great Spring days!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of two books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes… A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” Both are available through Amazon in electronic format, as well as in paperback versions. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_13?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel&sprefix=Katie+Kolberg%2Caps%2C198

"Weight" just a minute!

Easter 2016 in Connecticut

Hello All! I hope this blog post finds you happy and healthy, and enjoying the springtime. Wisconsin’s spring season has been flirting with us a bit, but today the temp is back in the 40’s, so for us, it’s not solidly here yet. 

Which, for a writer, isn’t always a bad thing. When the weather is “iffy” and it’s windy or cold or rainy, it’s an excellent time to sit down at the computer and write a blog post. I must admit I’ve had ideas for five or six over the past two months, and yet… well, I didn’t write them. I have been working on my new project, my “Love” project, but not taking the time to write for me, personally. Until today.              

As some of you know, I’ve been working on losing some weight. My journey began last fall, and my goal (as controversial as this seems) was/is to not have a goal. I just really needed to make some BIG changes in the “health” portion of my life, and needed to (simply) get started. I’m happy to say that as of this morning, I have lost 29 pounds. The mere fact that I told you I’ve lost 29 pounds, instead of rounding up to 30, is part of my transformation. No fudging, no hedging, no rounding up – it’s a solid 29, and I’m proud of it.

The weight is not “falling off” of me, that is true. But let me confide something else to you – something I’ve only told my nearest and very dearest. In the past, when I have attempted to lose weight, I’ve had some pretty great success. I’ve joined an organization that has a super weight loss plan that really really works when it’s done as written. I COULD DO THAT!!!! It was actually a lot of fun (for a while). I’d drink every ounce of my water, I’d write every morsel of food down in a journal, I’d attend every weekly meeting – I did it all perfectly! At first, I lost a great amount of weight. H*ck, the first 30 slid off in about three months! But (and here’s where it gets tricky for someone like me – and maybe even someone like you) once the losing slowed down a bit, I still wanted numbers.  

Instead of saying, "Weight just a minute," I would become obsessed with the process. This is not the organization’s fault – this is allll me! If I hadn’t had a good week, then I’d adjust the clothes that I’d wear to my meeting so that when I weighed in, I’d reflect at least that I’d “stayed the same” and not have a gain. God forbid my body would fluctuate and I’d gain! I wouldn’t want the person weighing me at the scale to ask me anything or to judge me, so I’d take out my food scale and see which t-shirt weighed less, or which pants seemed lighter. Even socks! Thank goodness for summer, for shorts, sandals and bare feet. 

A while back, someone told me that I’m a “perfectionist.” I laughed so hard I practically spit out my drink! A perfectionist!!! A perfectionist??? Impossible. Have you seen my house? Have you seen … (I could go on and on here, but I’ll spare you) 

“Yes, a perfectionist!” she said. “If you can’t do the weight loss thing perfectly, then you won’t do it at all.” 

Whew – talk about “speaking the truth in love…!” But Oh boy, was she right? When she put it that way, some of my behaviors really did make sense. If I couldn’t even go to a meeting and expect an occasional fluctuation in my weight, and would rather flush/sabotage my entire effort than continuing on, perhaps she was on to something. 

Now, I’m not saying this is for everyone – in fact I can point at many of you and know that you do not act in these ways. But for ME, I needed to make some other changes – and they needed to be not only healthy for my body, but healthy for my mind.  I told my family that this time I wasn’t going to join the organization, that I was not going to weigh my clothes, that I was not going to have a stranger weigh me or give me their opinion. I know that these things really work for some people. For me, however, the proof was that not once, not ONCE had I been truly successful if every single time I lost, I’d gain all of my weight back. 

Soooo… when I say I had no goal (no weight goal, that is) it’s true. I needed to simply get started and take the true journey – through my mind this time, and ask myself why I do some of the things that I do. And, well, it seems to be working. 

As for the perfectionist thing – all I can say is that I’m trying to not be that way as often. Some days are better than others. Every New Years Eve for years, I’d say something along the lines of, “I’m not going to eat ___ anymore.” Anymore… Anymore??? Let me tell you that “Anymore” is a really long time, and most certainly set me up for failure because usually by January 3^rd or 4^th, I’d already eaten ____ - so then what? How about this instead, “I’m not going to eat ___ as often?” I find the words “as often” work so much better for me than “anymore.” And this goes for so many things. With exercise, with drinking the water, with keeping a journal (which are all great tools). But it will not be the end of the world if I miss something one day. I cannot live up to that – it sends me into a weird downward spiral of not having done it “right.” For some, that works… For me, I’ve learned it’s a slippery slope and sets me up to fail.   

Here’s a challenge: Name one ice-skater who has never fallen down. Impossible! OR Name one musician who hasn’t hit a wrong note or forgotten the words to a song. Not gonna happen! OR one athlete who never missed a basket or a touchdown or a ball out in left field. Nope!  

We train, we know we want to do what’s right, and want to do better. But we can’t let our actions or our thoughts fall into weird areas. Everyone that I’ve mentioned above does this: They get their b*utt off of the ice and try the jump again. They get back on track with their song, usually with a smile or crack of good humor. They redeem themselves with more practice, or sinking that basket, blocking for the goal, or catching the ball. They don’t throw up their hands and say “never again.”

And I love that about humans! I’m very good with this philosophy in some areas of my life. Weight loss has been my biggest area of challenge. So, here we go! I’m attacking it one pound at a time. I’ve even needed to lose that same pound an extra time or two, but by applying the above, eventually the scale does move beyond and below it, and the shorts that fit three years ago, fit again...  

…and boy, that’s a great feeling!

How about you? If you have any words of wisdom to share, please do! I love to hear from you. In the meantime, keep it real – and know that I’m (most definitely) working at doing the same. 

 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is a blogger, and the author of two books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” Both are available through Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel&sprefix=katie+kol%2Caps%2C227

#Weightloss    #Practicalthinking   #Perfectionist   #GetaGrip   #ChrisPowell   #ExtremeWeightLoss   #Keepingitreal 

Boredom? I Don't Think So...

Hello, and welcome to February!  

Wait - what’s that you say? February is more than half over? Wow, and so it is! Okay, well, life happens and we must move forward from right here today… Am I right? (wink) 

Seriously, I must say that life has been very busy for me recently. I’m working on my next book, and though I don’t want to tell you too much about it, I can tell you that the book’s subject is about “LOVE.” (I sigh a happy sigh)  The other thing that I’ll tell you is that I’m very excited about getting this work out to all of you. I believe it is something that most of my dear readers will LOVE. After all, most of us here at “Katie’s View” love love and want more of it in our lives. My goal is to have the book finished and out by the end of this year. (I think I can, I think I can…)  

The other thing that has been taking up a lot of my head space is that I’ve been trying to lose some weight. I mentioned that in another one of my blog posts last fall. Here’s the link:  http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2015/10/decisions-decisions-and-action.html  Many of you contacted me personally with great advice and words of support. Thank you for that because I love to hear from you! I’m happy to announce that since that writing, I’ve lost 20 pounds. The weight isn’t just falling off of me, but 20 is 20. I’m excited for our Waukesha, Wis. weather to warm up a bit so that I’ll be able to get out and about - soon and very soon.  

All of this got me to thinking… (a dangerous pastime, I know…) (lyrics from Disney’s “Beauty and the Beast)  I’m going to make a big statement here, but it is absolutely the truth. The truth is that I am NEVER bored. Really!!! I never am. I feel that there is so much going on in my/our life that boredom is simply not an option – or a choice – or a fact – or whatever ‘boredom’ is classified as. For me, I feel that there is always something to do. Here, allow me to explain a bit more of where I’ve come from (and where I’m going) with all of this.  

* * *

I clearly remember a day from my own childhood. It was 1968, the summer that I turned seven. I flung myself onto my parents’ bed and watched my mother iron our clothes. It must have been a Tuesday because my mom washed clothes (for six of us) on Mondays, so ironing was her next day’s chore. As she worked through her stack, which was approximately as high as her hip (she was 5’4”), she didn’t seem to mind having me there to keep her company… until our conversation took a southern turn. 

“Mama, I don’t have anything to doooo…” Notice here how I accentuated the word “doooo”? When this is done, the word comes out of a child (or an adult) in a very whiny tone.  

Mom readjusted my father’s shirt sleeve on the ironing board and glanced my direction. She was kind enough to offer up a few suggestions for me. “Where’s Julia today? Why don’t you go call for her?” 

As a side note, I must commend mothers of the 1960’s. They never allowed their children to pick up a telephone. Suggesting that I go and “call for Julia,” would buy her at least a good half hour of alone time. Brilliant move!!! 

“She can’t play todaaaay…” 

“How about Debby?”

“Her eitherrrrrrr….” 

My mother removed my father’s shirt and hung it on a hanger, removed the next item from her basket, and spread it on the board. “Why don’t you get out your coloring books and crayons and color a nice picture for me?”

“I don’t wanna color!” 

Her head remained down, and she moved only her eyes to look up at me. “Why don’t you get out your Barbies and make a big doll city? You can pretend they’re going to a wedding and dress everybody in pretty clothes.” 

“I don’t wanna play dolllllls…” 

She’d had it with me. “Kate, go find something to do or I’ll find something for you to do!” 

Now, in my young, not-yet-second-grade mindset, her ‘finding something for me to do’ sounded like fun. My problem seemed solved as I envisioned her abandoning the wrinkles in my father’s work shirts to meet me at the kitchen table for a round (or seven) of “Go Fish.”  But no…

The next thing I knew, I was standing in the living room with a dust rag in my hand, removing knick knacks from the shelves by the stairs, and carefully dusting each one.  

“Let me know when you’re done,” Mom called out as she glanced over her left shoulder. “I’ve got plenty more work for you to do when you finish that.”   

What had gone wrong? I wondered…  

I learned a huge lesson that day, my friends. It was always best to find my own activities because when Mom said she’d give me something to do, it usually meant work.  

When I had my own kids, I found that my mother’s strategy worked beautifully for me too! With all of the friends my two children had, the haul of toys they owned, the neighborhood we lived in, I didn’t think they should ever say they had “nothing to do.” Consequently, Tony and Megan also learned from a young age, just as I had, that if they were “bored,” they’d be given something to do. They were expected to do X-amount of regular chores such as dishes and room maintenance, but “boredom chores” were much different – weird things that only a fed-up mother can dream. My favorites were trimming the carpet where our dog’s nails had snagged loops, or alphabetizing my CD’s or VHS tapes. (wink)  

I guess that I (and other moms and dads who have a lot of chores on their plates - laundry, ironing, grocery shopping and food preparation, housekeeping, lawn mowing, etc.) - don’t like to hear kids (or other adults, for that matter) whine about boredom. With all that this world has to offer, it just doesn’t seem like a good or viable choice.  

* * * 

So… whether my lack of boredom (or my kids’ lack of boredom – since they’re never bored either) has to do with the way(s) we were raised, well, I don’t really know. But with all of the books to read, pages to write, instruments to practice, recipes to try, shopping to do, weight to lose, grass to cut, and weeds to pull, boredom does not seem to compute. 

Go find interesting things to do...

 

OH, and above all, have great days!  

 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of two books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” Both are available through Amazon as paperback or electronic versions. Here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_13?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel&sprefix=Katie+Kolberg%2Caps%2C219 

 

#Boredom  #Parenting  #Writing

 

A Blast from my Ice-Skating Past

I had a great fulfilling day today, conducting one of the interviews I’m using in my brand new book project. I drove to a town about 60 miles west and spent a good part of the day there. When I got home, I was surprised to see that it had snowed, and that there was enough white stuff on my driveway that I knew I should shovel.

I felt disappointed. Shoveling was the last thing I felt like doing after having such an inspiring day. All I wanted to do was come in the house and start making notes from my interview. Instead, I sighed; then wrestled the shovel off its peg on the garage wall.

As I began plowing my usual paths down the driveway, something weird happened. Maybe it was because of the crispness of the air (my car’s thermometer said “17”), or maybe it was the fact I had a scarf wrapped around my neck and mouth, like I used to do when I was young. But all of a sudden it felt exactly like the kind of night my friends and I would have loved to spend at the ice-skating rink.

Sometimes we’d walk one block to our school, where the city would plow snow into a circle and flood a rink for us kids. Other times we walked about four blocks to another neighborhood rink. We preferred this choice because there seemed to be cuter boys there. And sometimes, on special occasions, one of our parents would drive us to a park which had a frozen lagoon. The pond had two small islands you could skate around. This choice, of course was my very favorite.

Standing here on my sidewalk, at the age of 54 years old, I had a flashback – maybe a de ja vu sort of feeling. The air felt exactly the same as a night years ago when I was maybe 14. My cheeks felt that same sting of cold, but it felt good - healthy. I remembered what it was like for cute boys to steal our knit caps and skate away fast… and for us to skate after them in an effort to get them back. Exchanging names, flirting…

I’ve shoveled snow hundreds of times and I’ve worn scarves over my cheeks for a number of reasons, but I’ve honestly never had a recollection come to me so thorough or so powerful. I looked up at the clear sky, the night so still, and I smiled. My initial disappointment had faded, replaced by the memory of teenage ice-skating escapades.

Even though I hadn’t felt like shoveling, I’m glad I stopped and took the 15 minutes to do it. The break felt good, and even, in the end, provided this blog. My advice? In life, take time to smell the roses – or if in Waukesha, Wis in January, take time to breathe in the night air. You might get a very nice blast somewhere from your teenage ice-skating past…

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of two books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” Both are available at www.amazon.com  as a Kindle and a paperback version.

The Holidays (and then some...)

Wow!  Wow, wow, wow! What a wonderful year for the holidays, here at the Memmel homestead, in Waukesha, Wis. Where do I even begin? Let’s see here… (rubs chin and gazes off into the distance, pondering choices…) Ahhh, I’ll begin with a story from the past…

Do any of you remember when your attitude toward Christmas and the holidays shifted from “woop de doo” parties, events, and pricy gifts, to more of the “real deal?” I’ve always loved church, especially on Christmas Eve, and I’ve never been a super good gift giver/receiver – always very nervous, hoping my choices or reactions are correct, etc. But years ago you could always count me in for plenty of the “woop de doo.” I do, however, remember the Christmas that I began to respond to the holidays more like my mother would have, than like the kid I’d been.

As I bravely shared in my book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes…” the fall/winter of 1988 were very hectic for our little family. I had a brand new baby (born November 11^th) and a three-year old. One day as I sat in the rocking chair feeding Megan, Tony stood by my side listening to his cassette tape of Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” He asked me, “Mom, what do you want for Christmas?” I said something along the lines of, “I just want everyone I love to be happy and healthy…” He crinkled his nose and furrowed his three-year old’s brow. “Nooo, I mean what do you WANT for Christmas?” …and I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, that’s honestly all that I wanted.

When I was a youngster that answer would have frustrated me too, but the older I grew, and the older I continue to grow, it’s truly all I want - ever. I might even add a few more frustrating brow-furrowing wishes into my responses nowadays such as, “During this season, I hope that we can all spend time together with those we love the most…” Things like that.

So this year, I got my wish (and then some). Back in October, after Megan came to town with Jakey, Joe decided he’d like to come back to Wisconsin over the holidays to see everyone. Since their little family would all be here, they thought it would be a good weekend to have Jake baptized. It was decided that we’d host the ceremony right here at our home. Joe and Megan placed several calls. One to the pastor she'd grown up with, who baptized, confirmed, and even married her and Joe. (So special!) They also placed a phone call to Tony and Lesleigh, asking them to be Jake’s godparents. I heard through the grapevine that they were very thrilled to accept that role. Tony and Les had not planned to come up here during the holidays this year, but decided to change their initial plans. Thankfully Lesleigh was able to figure it all out with her work schedule, and the two could travel up from Nashville together. The scene was set – our whole family would be together again – this time for Christmas and Jakey’s baptism.

What a joy it was for me to decorate and to get everything organized – even the cleaning seemed tolerable knowing all of the kids were coming – even our new little grandson. With multiple exciting reasons for their visits, I felt extra energized and worked each day with a song in my heart. The songs in my heart I refer to may or may not have been due to Tony and Lesleigh’s brand new album, “We’ll Be on the Radio.” ( www.tonymemmel.com ) Word on the street had it that Tony would be playing and singing his brand new release, “Jake’s Song” for Jake during his baptism. Any moms or grammas out there that are reading this will certainly be able to relate to the sentiment that such a combination could bring. Right?  

Everyone spent time with their other families/inlaws, and then Christmas Eve was our turn to spend time together. Church was at 5:30, so we all met there. I must tell you that one of the most joy-filled moments I’ve ever experienced was walking up to communion that night – our daughter in line behind me, followed by Joe holding our grandson. Tony stood at the front of the church, singing and playing his guitar for “An Irish Christmas Blessing,” and Lesleigh accompanied him on the piano. Wow, you know? Jake was in a great mood, and even assisted in the singing of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” by letting out a shriek at the exact right time. (So cute!) He was also very attracted to the flame on Joe’s candle during the singing of “Silent Night.” After the service we all came back here for food, gifts, chatter and laughs. Did I mention laughs? Yeah…

It has become a tradition that we host a Christmas Day brunch, so my dad, aunt, Todd’s brother and wife, my sister and husband, Lesleigh’s mom and dad, (Joe’s mom and dad couldn’t make it) and our kids all participated. We ate cheese and crackers, ham and scrambled eggs, rolls and fruit, cookies and kringle. After everybody else left, our six-some (excuse me, seven-some) sat down for a viewing of one of our family’s all-time favorite movies, “A Muppet Christmas Carol.” Jake just happened to fall asleep on his Auntie Lesleigh’s lap, and napped during the whole thing. Good timing, Buddy!

Todd had a nice idea. Before Christmas he asked the kids if they had any plans for Saturday, and if not, to clear their mornings. We bought the four of them reserved seats for an early viewing of “Star Wars” on the local Ultrascreen. Megan felt confused. “But what about the baby?” We assured her that he’d be in good hands with his gramma and grampa. The kids came back here to prep for the baptism, and Todd and I took our turn seeing the movie. When we got home, Tony and Les ordered pizza for us all, and we sat down to drink a glass (or two) of wine and discuss the movie. Joe isn’t a big Star Wars fan, but he said he had fun. The rest of us all shared our thoughts, our questions, and our theories about what is yet to come in the series. I must say, the movie passed my criteria for a good film - It made me laugh, it made me teary, and it left me with questions. Oh Star Wars – we’re so excited for the next part of your story!

And then there was the baptism. Let me start by saying that back in 1985, Todd’s mom knit a baptismal gown for Tony. I actually mention it in my book. Three years later, Megan wore it too. I put it away and stored it in its box for the past 27 years. When I took it out this fall, there was some bad yellowing on the front, up near the neck/chest. I felt terrible, and very unsure of how to remedy the situation. There is a group of women at our church with extensive knitting knowledge. They call themselves “The Knit Wits” (isn’t that fun?) Anyway, I took the dress to one of their meetings, and they each gave their opinion of how I might clean it. Once they determined it wasn’t “wool,” it opened up some good possibilities. I was able to get the garment back to its initial white, and I felt so relieved and happy. Jake would wear the same outfit that his mom and uncle had worn. Since Todd’s mom and dad have both passed away, it felt like somehow they were present and able to participate in a special way.

For the ceremony, Todd and I were both asked to do a short scripture reading. As the pastor poured the water from the pitcher into the bowl, he spoke of how God moved over the waters at creation, and it made me shiver (in a good way) to know that Jake was now also receiving this special sacrament. Joe and Megan looked so nice, standing there dressed in their Sunday’s finest, promising to raise their little boy in the Christian faith. Tony and Lesleigh also vowed to keep Jake as a special and Godly part of their lives. And all who were gathered in the room also answered the important questions of faith: “Do you believe in God the Father, Jesus His Son as your Saviour, the Holy Spirit who works among and within us…?” Tony did sing Jake his song, and I can’t vouch for anyone else, but tears were definitely rolling down my cheeks. Joe and Megan threw their son a party following the ceremony and it was so nice to talk and catch up with everyone. Some left early, and some stayed late, but one thing remains certain: Jacob is a very blessed little boy to have so many people who love him. And now he’s baptized.

Keep in mind that the Memmels haven’t all celebrated Christmas together since 2009. There have been different group variations, but not all together. As we celebrated the holidays this year, I couldn’t help thinking back to that conversation I shared with Tony in 1988. Everyone was together, and all reasonably healthy and happy. Happiness and health – two things we all seem to want most - two things we cannot buy in a store.

Here we are, with 2016 already in full swing. Let’s make a toast to health and happiness for us all... Cheers!    

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of two books: “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference” and “Silly Stories and Sentimental Stuff.” Both are available on Amazon as Kindle downloads and as paperback versions.  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_20?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel&sprefix=Katie+Kolberg+Memmel%2Caps%2C174