In the fall of 2013, Tony was asked to be the guest
musician/speaker at a camp in Florida, April 11-13, 2014. “Hands 2 Love” has been
hosting camp for 14 years. It started with seven families, all who were raising
a child with a limb difference. This year they hosted 70 families. As positive
comments about my book filtered out into the limb difference community, H2L
also invited me to fly down to Florida,
be with Tony, and share pieces of our family’s story with the other parents.
After the camp’s organizer (Ruthie) read my book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s
Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” she thought that Todd had an interesting perspective as
well – so she invited him to come to
Florida too.
Our son-in-law (Joe’s) parents recently celebrated
their 50th wedding anniversary. The good news was that Megan and Joe
were coming home to Wisconsin for a surprise party for Joe’s mom and dad. The
bad news was that they were coming the weekend of April 11-13. Are you with me
so far??? Why must EVERYTHING ALWAYS
happen in the same week??? That d*rn Murphy and his law…!
I felt sad and disappointed that the two events
criss-crossed. At the same time, I’d committed to this camp and its good cause,
which is, as you know, very near and dear to my heart. Thankfully, Megan and
Joe were able to add a few extra days to the beginning of their trip, and Todd
and I got to spend a couple of days/nights with the kids, whom we hadn’t seen
since Thanksgiving. From the time I picked the two up at the airport, we ran at
full schedule. We visited extended family members, went out to dinner, went
shopping (it wouldn’t be a reunion with Megan if we didn’t somehow go shopping!)
drank a glass (or two) of wine, talked, talked, talked (did I mention talk?) Overall
we had a lovely visit. So, though our time together was limited, on the day of
Joe’s parents’ party, the kids dropped Todd and me at the airport, and then enjoyed
quality time with Joe’s family – a win/win.
His mom and dad were so surprised and excited to see the kids. Success!
Todd and I flew into Gainesville, Florida - a part of Florida that we'd never visited before. The camp was set on a lake’s shore with cabins scattered
around the outskirts. It was a very pretty sight. Todd, Tony and I stayed at a
motel. The number of camp families had grown so large that some of the
attendees stayed at the motel too.
The weather turned out gorgeous – if you enjoy blue
skies, temps in the low 80’s, and a light wind blowing thru the trees. On
Monday, as I sat at my dining room table looking out at the snow swirling
around in my back yard (again!), it was hard to believe we just experienced all
of that beautiful weather the day before. Though I love my Wis. home, those
warm breezes surely did call out my name…
Everyone at the camp welcomed us with warm smiles
and hugs. It was such fun to finally associate faces and names to certain
Facebook friends of mine. Every so often someone came up to introduce herself
to me, and we’d smile and laugh as old friends – which of course we are! Oh, social media - how you’ve changed the
world! Ruthie showed us around and explained what we’d be doing on
Saturday. How strange it was for me to be back in a camp setting after so many
years. It brought back wonderful memories of my own experiences attending 4-H
and church camps. Isn’t it amazing how things ‘stay the same’ even as they
change? Think about it…
On Saturday morning I felt a little nervous. Todd
and I planned to host four parent sessions throughout the day, while their kids
attended a music clinic with Tony and a drumming specialist. The subject of our
sessions was “Networking.” I remember so clearly being a young mom, trying to
find other families to connect with who felt the same way I did. For many
parents those feelings still ring true. Let me say this… the world is not
always kind, as we all know. But when you are raising a child with a ‘difference,’
when you’re often on guard, watching for people’s reactions, listening for hurtful
comments, it can be – well – it can be exhausting. This was a weekend where the
parents felt peaceful, ‘at home,’ their children could simply ‘be.’ Since
everyone attended for a united purpose, there was never a time for them to feel
signaled out or alone. Everyone there was in it together. I hoped and prayed that
Todd’s and my message would be heard and well-received because working with
these young moms and dads is one of the joys of my life - truly.
Our outdoor location could not have been more
fantastic. We sat high up on a hill, with mossy trees providing our shade. We looked
to our left – lake. We looked to our right – lake. From the nearby rec center
we heard the sounds of the distant drum clinic, and our son’s voice leading a
chorus of children in “The Lucky Fin Song.” What a rough way to spend a work day,
you know? A tough job, but somebody had
to do it… ;) The beautiful setting
seemed to remove any apprehension.
As I prepared at home the week before, I came across
this statement about networking:
“Be
amongst others who share your dream.”
I believe that all parents dream for their children –
I know that I did and still do! We dream about their futures, what choices they’ll
make, what line of work they’ll choose, who they’ll meet (and possibly marry
someday)… These parents are coming from many miles to network with other
parents who all share a similar bond. Every one of them shares their life with
a person (mostly a child) with a limb difference. So as they network about
their beautiful kids, as they share what works and what doesn’t, as they laugh
or tear up, they know they’re “amongst others who share their dream.” The
feedback I received was that, at this time in their lives, nothing is better
than that. The date for camp is marked on their calendars already for next
year. The countdown has begun.
Camp ended on Sunday morning. Tony spoke to all of
the kids and adults, showed the captive audience how he “tapes up” with Gorilla
Tape every time he plays. He talked about persistence in doing what you love to
do. He sang a couple of his songs. And finally, at the end, he led the whole children’s
group in “The Lucky Fin Song,” and all of the kids did hand motions. If there
was a dry eye in the place, I didn’t see it. An emotional slide show ended the
morning, showing all of the special things (archery, art, music, ropes course,
etc.) the kids had done and accomplished throughout the weekend. Click here to see the Lucky Fin Song video from August, 2013: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Q8pRO_4MI&list=PLAB4186F7073B844F
I want to personally thank all of those at Hands 2
Love who take their time, energy, resources, and love to host this camp each year.
They’ve grown ten-fold since their beginning 14 years ago. Who even knows what
the future may hold? All I know is that when I was a young mother, it was
awfully difficult to find someone who understood what I was feeling. There is
growing support out there for all of these parents who want to network, and “be
amongst others who share their dream.”
…and there’s a message in there for us all...
Katie Kolberg Memmel
is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child
Born with a Limb Difference.” The book is available thru Amazon. For more
information, go to www.katiekolbergmemmel.com
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