Summer Days, Driftin' Away

“Summer days, driftin’ away…” Grease

            Well hello, and welcome to the end of summer. Can I have a show of hands? Who here can even believe that Labor Day is next weekend? Anybody…?

I can only speak for myself, but may echo the thoughts of others too… For those of us who live in four-season climates, we count each precious day from Memorial Day through Labor Day as some of our most treasured of the entire year. Yes, spring time can be lovely, and certainly fall can too – Autumn may even be my own personal favorite time of year. But for my family, maybe because we are boaters, the summer is basically spelled out in ‘weekends.’ How many weekends exist between the last Monday in May and the first Monday in September?

Memorial Day weekend turned out beautiful, and Todd and I were able to get in some great boating time with our club up on Lake Winnebago. But, as usual, it was mid-June before we got the boat put into its Lake Michigan slip, and we tried to get at least one weekend day on it every week. We were excited to learn that the US Navy’s “Blue Angels” would once again be flying as part of Milwaukee’s Air and Water Show; but as luck would have it, both of their performance days were cancelled due to intense fog over the lake. Disappointing for certain. It’s always a great thrill to be out on the water and have the Blue Angels fly right over the top of us!

This year half of June was consumed by Tony and Lesleigh’s participation in the “Make a Band Famous” competition in New York. Though they only competed for a day, the weeks leading up to it with all of the tweeting on Twitter, created the strangest “busy-ness” I’ve ever experienced. Yes, life went on, but whenever there was a remote lull, Twitter called my name.

 

It felt so strange this year – the first time ever – that Todd and I celebrated the Fourth of July without our kids in town. Each year Milwaukee puts on a huge firework display on the third, and each year (since 1999) we’ve had some combination of kids and friends out in the harbor on the boat with us. I’m not complaining per se – we could have done any number of things – but we chose to go it alone, and just tie up with some other boat club families. “Firsts” can be hard, but also necessary. Traditions are lovely, but new experiences can be good too. We went to the Waukesha parade, saw the movie “Jersey Boys” (which blew my MIND!) ;) and spent some more lake time… a rough, rough weekend, but somebody had to live it! haha

When I was a very little girl (1967) my parents bought land on a lake in central Wis. My dad built a small cottage and we spent lots of time together there. Since I was the youngest of four, my siblings started to branch off and marry, have children, and a new tradition was born… “Lake Helen Day.” Every year my parents hosted a party at the cottage and everyone came up, camped, played ball, swam - whatever activity the weather permitted. My oldest nephew and his wife now also bought property on the same lake, and re-instituted our old party tradition. This year many of us (including two surprise visitors named Tony & Lesleigh) got together in mid-July, played some whiffle ball, swam, boated, ate good food, sat around the campfire, and enjoyed a special weekend together. Great fun!

 

Back in 1977’s high school marching band days, two of my fellow band mates had dated, gone to prom, etc. For various reasons, they split up and lived different lives. In recent years, they reunited at a party and began seeing each other again. This past February, 37 years later, they traveled to Jamaica and said “I do!” It really can happen like that sometimes. Since Facebook had connected some of us again, Todd and I actually got invited to their wedding reception, which took place at their home. What fun it was to see old friends again. Every good wish, John and Beth, for many many more years together!

Just like last year, Todd took a day off of work and we headed south to Ohio for the Helping Hands Midwest gathering. Though it is a six-hour drive for us, we feel very at-home with this special group of people. All of us share an important common denominator – loving someone who has a limb difference. The picnic was a delight, and I was able to meet some new friends, while also chatting with some past ones too. It was a shame that shortly after eating lunch, and introducing ourselves, the skies let loose with a storm. As often happens with nature, about a half hour later the sun shone bright again – but most people were already gone. Thankfully, an indoor pizza party was planned for that evening, complete with a concert by Tony & Lesleigh. They had those darling kids dancing and singing along to just about everything. I think my favorite part was when they opened up ideas for lyrics to “Old MacDonald had a farm…” and one child said that “…on that farm he had a Transformer.” And wouldn’t you know that the two came up with a noise that the “Transformer” made down on that farm?! Priceless ;)  We had lots of laughs, lots of smiles – and maybe even a tear or two – but in a very good way.

Todd and I participated in our club’s annual corn roast. It’s an evening of food and friends – buy a wristband for access to unlimited brats, dogs, corn and cake. Beer and soda cost extra, but hey, it’s only once a year, right? Right! Why is it that when adults get together, so much silliness can ensue? But silliness it is! (Especially during a "Super Moon")The event even provided a band for dancing, so who was I to say ‘no,’ you know??? “Celebrate good times, come on…!”

And I, personally, have continued my writing – taking this summer time to go back to visit places from my past for words and ideas of inspiration. (and just a tiny clue – I’m finding what I’m seeking) You can read my blog post from one of my experiences here: http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2014/07/a-blast-from-campsite-past.html

So, here we are coming up to the end of summer. As much fun as it is/was – I do love fall. I consider it to be a time of great beauty and a time of blessed wind-down. Although this year it’s going to be plenty busy in and of itself. I have my writing classes, some speaking engagements, some family obligations, and before you know it, the holidays will be here. OH, and did I mention that Megan and Joe think they’ll be able to come home for Christmas this year? Weeee! Another fun thing to look forward to!

Life moves fast, I think that most of us will agree. So here’s to enjoying every minute, no matter what season we’re in… (our virtual ‘glasses’ clink in mid-air)

Until we meet (or blog) again ;)    Katie

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

A Blast from Campsite Past

            Long time, no blog! I realized that I never posted Part II to Tony’s MABF competition, and then thought that maybe too much time had passed. Let me know what you think. I can still put something up. I guess that by now I figured most of you had heard how he and Lesleigh placed in New York City and such; but if there’s still interest, I will do it.

I hope all is well in your parts of the world. Things are good here in Waukesha, Wis – busy, like everybody else, but good! The summertime certainly does go by quickly, doesn’t it? I wish that January and February went by as fast, but they never seem to, do they? (Unless a lovely warm-weather vacation is on the calendar – then that goes by quickly too!) ;)

Sooo… Recently as I chatted with friends and scanned through Facebook and Twitter posts, I saw so much talk about camping. It made me stop and think… when was the first time I camped and who was I with? It didn’t take me long to remember, and I’d like to share some of those experiences with you today.

When I was a kid, our church had an organization called, “Lutheran Girl Pioneers.” It existed for girls from 3^rd grade (8/9 years old) through 8^th grade confirmation age (13/14). It was much like Girl Scouts (although I never actually was a Girl Scout – it’s what I’d equate it with). We learned about many subjects, always with God at their center: cooking, nature, first aid, woodworking, how to apply make-up, childcare, and more. Though I found many of the activities to be enjoyable, one yearly event stood out for me, and towered high above the rest – the annual LGP campout.

We always camped at the same place – Mukwonago County Park. For the sake of this blog post I decided to take a drive out to the park, and see how it looks now, 40 years later. To my delight, not much had changed. I’d have bet the exact opposite, but no, it looked pretty much the same. As I drove through the gate, the beach was still to my left, and although I remembered it having more sand, a raft was still anchored over “the deep end.” The cement block bathhouse hadn’t been updated at all. A layer of pink paint lined the ladies’ room walls, and someone had painted over the stall’s doors, locks and everything. Some things just do not change. ;)  

Since very few people were in the park that day, I took the time to drive the winding road up to the group camp area, all the while remembering the good ole days… I paused at the top of the hill and took this picture. I wanted to show you how pretty it is here in Wisconsin and just why I love it so <3 …

Many trees now cover the camp areas where open grassy spaces used to exist, and yet this particular site looked almost the same. As young girls this was where we learned to spot poison ivy, pitch canvas tents, spark a fire, cook our meals in tinfoil packs (ground beef/carrots/potatoes), and roast marshmallows.

Once we all settled down we sang songs about great big bears a waaaay over there; and Joe having a head like a ping pong ball; and come by here Lord – come by here (Kum by yah). One of our chaperones would lead a devotion and we’d learn something about God’s love for us. Before bed we’d make our way to the bathrooms (pit toilets – ick), but when you’re ten, is there anything more fun than running around at night with a flashlight, regardless of the destination? I don’t think so…

After we snuggled into our flannel sleeping bags underneath the protection of our canvas tents, we’d talk about other things, important things  – boys and life – all of the things we’d seen, heard, tried; things we knew (or thought we knew); and all the things we still wondered about. Sometimes a quiet game of truth or dare would erupt. Now that I’m an adult and I know how thin canvas actually is, I can’t help but wonder if our adult chaperones heard every single thing we ever confessed… hmmm… I really hope not!

During the day, if the weather was hot, we begged to spend our time at the beach. We’d spread our towels in a cluster on the sand, continuing our conversations from the previous night. (As a side note, the day I visited the park, girls still stood and sat in clusters, whispering about – well, who really knows? But I (for one) have got a few guesses…) In the water, we’d take turns doing hand stands, and some brave girls dove from the raft. As we grew older, though, some no longer wanted to get their hair wet… ah, youth…  we (or society?) give ourselves so little time to be completely young and carefree… Why is that?

And at the end of a long afternoon, we’d hike our way back up a huge hill (which still looks very huge by the way) starving and ready for dinner - ready to repeat another campfire, another songfest, (and my own personal favorite part) another night in the confines of our tent. I still know some of those young women now, and can honestly say that when you share so many confidences over the years – from friend troubles to family issues to boys, and yes, especially  God - true and lasting relationships formed and continue to this day.

At 52 years old, as I stood by my idling car, taking pictures of this long-ago place from my childhood, I silently gave so much credit to our adult volunteers. They took three days and two nights of their summer, so that we could have these early camping and bonding experiences. As kids we may not have always appreciated every minute that they gave. Between giggling our fool heads off, complaining some, and even a bout or two of tears (we were pre-teen girls after all) I truly do value those days now, and thank each of the adults for the efforts they made.

As I wound my way back down the hill, glanced back at the beach and drove away, I felt so glad that I’d visited the park that day. Sometimes things change to the point that we no longer recognize them; and sometimes they stay exactly the same. And I guess there’s a time for both…

… a time for every purpose under Heaven.

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com    

Tweetfest, Part I - Make a Band Famous

The events I’ve outlined in the following blog post are true (sort of).  MAYBE I’ve added some embellishments, maybe some humor. Read and see which is which. YOU be the judge.

Around the middle of May I got a phone call from my son Tony, who (as you know) now lives in Nashville. He had some news for me. “I entered a contest, and out of 2,700-plus entries, I placed in the top 60.”

“What? You’re kidding! Who, what, where, when, why?” Yes, my traditional game of 20 questions kicked in immediately.

“Well, it’s a contest for VH1 and Republic Records – Make a Band Famous. The grand prize is a record deal with Republic. I submitted a 15-second video of me playing “America to Go” filmed at Eddie’s Attic in Atlanta. I was chosen from my video…”

“Wow, that is just great! So what happens next?”

“Well, (long pause here) they want people to vote… on Twitter…”

(Cue the crickets.) Dead silence echoed from my end of the phone as I contemplated the meaning of his last sentence. Finally I said, “But who tweets? I mean nobody in the family does – Grampa, Aunt C… (I listed approximately eighteen more people here…)

“Yeah, I don’t know, but those are the rules. I mean Molly tweets for the Lucky Fin Project, and Lesleigh and I tweet…” Then he reminded me, “Mom, I helped you set up a Twitter account like five years ago!” (Of course that was true – not that I’d used Twitter much to that point, but still…)

So I said, “Okay, well we’ll see what happens I guess…” We continued to talk of other things, but my mind kept drifting back to that silly dormant Twitter account. I silently vowed to figure out exactly how to tweet now that a record deal hung in my son’s balance.

I went to the “VH-1 Make a Band Famous” website and saw the box with Tony’s picture. I watched the 15-second video. Sigh… how I do love my kids… Hesitantly, I pressed the word “Vote” under his hashtag #tonymemmel name. I thought that perhaps I could dodge the system - that I’d be able to vote in this simple manner rather than via Twitter. Maybe they’d see I was his mom and I wouldn’t require the whole “Twitter approach.” But nope - no cigar! A message popped up prompting me that I needed my Twitter password and account info. DRATS! Rats are bad, but in my opinion, Drats are much worse!

Later that day I slowly circled my computer, and after staring at it for some time, finally sat down. I cracked my knuckles and wiggled my fingers; cocked my neck first left and then right to loosen my stiff upper back and shoulder muscles. As a warm-up, I checked my ‘laptop usuals:’ two e-mail accounts, Facebook of course, my blog stats, Tony’s Youtube hits, Linkedin, and my book’s Amazon numbers. Realizing it was time and that I’d stalled long enough, I slowly typed in “T W I …” and my very intelligent laptop prompted me with “Twitter.” Okay, yes, fine, I want Twitter! I pressed enter. I thought back to 2009, when Tony first started the account with me. I took a stab at my Account name and password based on what was happening back then. I got IN! Triumph overtook me. I did it, I did it, now I can vote. So the first thing I did was click back to the #MABF website and pressed vote. This time I had success. I voted! I voted! I contributed to the cause!

I continued down this menial tweet path for a few days. I learned that I needed to change a word or two each time I voted so that the system recognized I wasn’t a robot. I began to feel creative: “I just voted, WE just voted, Todd just voted, Millie (our cat) just voted, Lillie (our other cat) just voted…” and so on. Though I was the only one home, I glanced over my shoulder as if saying are you seeing this? Can you see that I’m tweetin’ up a storm over here???

Next, to mix things up, Tony informed me that he and the gang were hosting actual Twitter conversations. He said I didn’t have to 'just' vote on the MABF site, but could join the group. I begged off at first, but in the end I joined just to learn the routine through re-tweets.  

 I’m not going to lie. Twitter moves fast, my friends. It was not for amateurs, let me tell you. Between the new comments, the re-tweets, the favorites and the replies, my head was spinning. But before I knew it I was getting even more creative, adding pictures from my brand new I-Phone, using phrases such as, “This bird is tweeting for #tonymemmel #mabf,” and “This owl wants to know whoooo you’re voting for #tonymemmel #mabf.” Todd and I went boating over Memorial Day weekend, so I used this, “Can you tweet while you float? Yes, I’m tweeting on my boat #tonymemmel #mabf.” The phrases were endless. I tweeted about the baby robins in our yard who were learning to fly from their nest. I tweeted about Tony’s albums, his song lyrics, and what they meant. I tweeted about my book, why I wrote it, who I wrote it for… You name it, baby I tweeted it (well, maybe not EVERY thing, but lots of things… )

As the days and weeks (3 ½ to be precise) picked up steam, so many people were on board with our cause. I met people on Twitter from all over the country because when Tony announced the contest to his Facebook and Twitter followers, telling them he needed their help, they heard his tweeting call and flocked to their computers to help. People he’d met through his work with the Lucky Fin Project, old friends from high school, college, our home church, symphonies and choirs, Lesleigh’s parents and her nurse friends. People tweeted from as far northwest as Washington state, and as far southeast as Florida. And did I mention most points in between? I’m afraid to list all of the states because I don’t want to leave one out. Suffice to say that folks over the span of 3,000 American miles tweeted for #tonymemmel #mabf. No lie!

Every day I thought, we’re probably okay with tweets now. I can probably stop. I can probably stop any time I want. But then I’d think why? Who’d want to miss out on all of the action? As it turned out, not me!

Stay tuned for Part II - The #MABF Competition

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference." For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

Megan (and Clara) are Graduating!

Okay, so, how’s everybody doing today? Memorial Day is already way behind us, and summer is here full-force - at least it will be as soon as our city’s school district is done with school on June 12. Our winter was so harsh that the kids have to go a few days longer than usual. Isn’t it funny how it always seems great in January to miss a day of school, but such a drag in June???  

Speaking of being “done with school,” we have some great news! At the end of May our daughter, Megan, finished her last days of college. She is graduating from Walden University (with honors!) with her Bachelor’s Degree in Human Resources. Todd and I are both so happy for her and very proud… Megan did college a bit differently than some. But here we are, and what a story it is to tell!

Back when Meg was a senior in high school (2007), she had her heart set on going away to a great big university. UW-Madison, which is only about 70 miles west of our home, was by far her top choice. She also applied to UW-Milwaukee (too close to home and hosted too many local kids from high school) and the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities (50,000 plus, a small city in and of itself). Though her senior class ranking was in the top 20% of her class, she had extra-curricular activities and a ‘decent’ ACT score, she did not get accepted into Madison. (disappointment) (sigh) 

She decided to head west and go to Minnesota, which is about 250 miles from our home. Thankfully she was assigned a great roommate with whom she bonded and connected. But the plan didn’t work out quite as she thought it would. For a number of reasons, (our family had so many things happen that year) she decided to finish out her freshman year there, but then come back home to live. 

During the middle of her Minnesota year, one Sunday afternoon Todd and I got a long-distance phone call from our (now) son-in-law, Joe. He asked that we each get on an extension, then told us he’d like to ask Megan to marry him. He asked for our blessing. Yes, they were young, and yes there was a lot to consider; but they’d known each other quite a while, and seemed very compatible and happy. Long story short, we said “Yes” and wished him well… 

The two got engaged in January of 2008, and she finished up her year at Minnesota. Ultimately, she achieved her Associate’s degree here in Waukesha, Wis. in 2009. It was the craziest timeline of events… Listen to this…

Saturday, December 12 – Joe graduates from college at MI Tech (in the UP). We all attend.
Wednesday, December 16 – Megan graduates from college here in town. We all attend. ;)
Friday, December 18 – Joe and Megan’s Rehearsal Dinner at our church. We all attend.
Saturday, December 19 – Joe and Megan’s wedding at our church. We all attend.
Sunday, December 20 – Joe and Megan’s gift opening at our house. We all attend.
“The Holidays” We all attend.

The prettiest bride I've ever seen!

During New Year’s the two left for their honeymoon and were gone for a week. We did not attend. ;) The day after they got back, Joe had a job interview lined up with Kimberly Clark. He flew to Philadelphia.  Later that day I got a text message… “I got the job.” (Tears) (happy and …)

In the timeframe of about six weeks, these two had gone through most of life’s major events. College graduations, marriage, honeymoon, new job, and finally, moving across the country away from absolutely everyone they knew. Joe accepted the job in Pennsylvania, they packed up their belongings and headed east. 

If you know me at all, you know how important my family is to me, and you know how much I miss these two. But Todd and I also agree that everyone needs to go where the work is. In that terrible 2010 job market, Joe was offered a great job in his field (Electrical Engineer) and they needed to go. I was happy they were married and could now live and figure out life, together. We missed them like crazy, but knew they'd be okay!

Megan has worked at a number of jobs – retail, banking, a vet clinic. But when the kids got transferred up to New Milford, Connecticut, and it looked like they’d be there a while, she got a job, but also decided to do what it took to finish her Bachelor’s Degree. She enrolled with Walden, and began her schooling – one intensive six-week class at a time - over and over and over. On top of all of that they purchased their first home. As you can see, she’s one busy woman - homeowner, wife, working full time, college classes… PLUS she and Joe decided to raise the “Guiding Eyes” dog, Clara. Remember her? To refresh your memory, here’s the link to Clara’s story: http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2013/12/thanksgiving-part-three-clara.html

 

Joe and Megan (tearfully) parted with Clara last December (2013) and she went to see where her lofty special life might lead her. It was determined that Clara would not be working with “Guiding Eyes” program after all.” Instead, since she has quite a nose on her, she will be working/sniffing with the ATF (Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms).  Megan was just notified of Clara’s graduation date with ATF, and plans to attend the event in Virginia later this summer (2014). 

So… After two-and-a-half years of her own schooling, after counting down class after class, finally getting notice that she was finishing, taking that last and final exam… Megan’s graduating with her degree in Human Resources – and already found a brand new job to boot! AND the same week Meg was finishing, she was notified of Clara’s graduation date too. I mention this in the same paragraph and practically in the same breath because the dog and its placement is almost as important to her as her own situation – True! Joe and Megan fostered the dog from the age of ten weeks to 18 months. They have so much training, work, care, love and emotion invested in Clara. They want her to do what she was born to do – Help Others!  She may even save lives! Go Clara! 

I’ve said this before and will probably say it again… but there are so many people in this world doing extraordinary things. They work so hard to make a better life – not just for themselves – but for others. 

And as for Todd and me, we could not be more proud of all these events. Way to go, Megan! Congratulations! We can’t wait to see what’s next…

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference." For more information, visit her website www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

“Reunited and it feels so … Bad?”

Tis the season! No, not Christmas… the other season – the summertime – when people from all over the country (and even the world) travel far distances to get together for weddings, parties, and reunions of many kinds. “Pop the cork and grill the ribs – look who’s back in town!”

For some, seeing people from their pasts is an exciting prospect. They get to see family and old friends that perhaps they haven’t seen in a year, or five, or more! But for others, it is a nerve racking, hair-raising time because, well, because they are going to see family and old friends that perhaps they haven’t seen in a year, or five, or more!

See the dilemma?

Unfortunately, I see the dilemma, and I understand it all too well. It’s a nice thought to gather for reunions; but if you’ve weathered some of life’s storms, whether emotional or physical, or if your looks have changed a great deal (gained or lost too much weight), you fear that you’ll become the topic of conversations that you’d really rather not be the topic of. See what I mean?

I remember how hard it was for me, after having a baby born with a limb difference, trying to explain the story time after time, to people who were not yet familiar with what happened. And I remember when someone dear to me was going through a divorce. Seeing people he hadn’t seen in a long time, fielding questions like, “Where’s your wife?” It was pretty hard for him. Why, sometimes situations like these can make a person want to eat more than they should, drink more than they ought, or even feel sick to the point of not wanting to reunite with people at all!

I wonder how many times I’ve heard someone say, “We’re invited to a wedding! How much weight do you think I can I lose in six weeks???” I mean seriously, why should someone who’s recently had a baby (or even had a baby twenty-five years ago) worry about seeing people from their past? Pregnancy is a crazy experience, and affects us all in different ways, doesn’t it? It’s one of life’s biggest “WOW!’s” Right? It changes us – inside and out! Instead of feeling ashamed, shouldn’t we feel proud?

Not to mention that some have endured bad accidents, gone thru cancer or cancer scares, the diagnosis of Diabetes or MS, fought hard for life in some way… Why should they even be concerned about appearance, much less weight? Isn’t the “getting together” the main thing, the “seeing each other again” the whole point?

I’m sure there are many different ways to view this topic. It’s not that I don’t get it. I’m one of the people who received the wedding invite and began an immediate diet. Believe me. But at the same time, I’ve also very randomly bumped into an old friend that I haven’t seen in 30 years, and been thrilled to tears to see them again – and they seemed the same. So I ask, why all the fretting?

I propose this… If we all care enough to invite each other to weddings, and parties, and reunions, then let’s be kind to each other. Deal? We never know of the storms that people have weathered or the joys that they’ve experienced, until we’re privileged enough to discuss it with them. Let’s dust off our most sincere smiles, open our ears, and indulge in some good and meaningful conversations with the people we’ve traveled far and wide to reunite with.

What is it that Dr. Seuss tells us? “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Now there’s some reunion advice I can get on board with… Let’s change the title of this blog post back to its original intent, “Reunited and it feels so good.”

Tis the party season, so go have some fun out there!  

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

One Memmel's Memory...

My memory is a crazy place, let me tell you...

I remember strange details about events that other folks tend to forget. I’m not sure how it works – how I can so deeply process certain things; but sights, sounds, smells, and songs (DEFINITELY songs), can all play a big part in triggering a memory for me. Sometimes I reference a certain event by what I was wearing, and yes, even by what I weighed. (For example, my thinner years: 1977-81, 1983-84, 1989-90, 1997-1999, 2011-12, and so on.)

My family has learned not to even attempt correction of my details. We’ve placed a few bets, and enjoyed some hearty laughs when they dare say, “Oh that’s right, Mom, you remember because it was winter and you were driving in the blue car while wearing your red Badger t-shirt, with the picture of Bucky on the front???” Yes, that’s precisely how I remember, thank you very much…!) 

I suggest that if they don’t think I’m right, feel free to check a calendar J  (They don’t check…)

But seriously, I’ve found that my ‘good memory’ is both a blessing and a curse

As for the blessing - my recollections provide me with beautiful memories of dear family times - talking and laughing with my mom, vacations, graduations and weddings. My memory provides me with thoughts of people long in my past, picnics by lakes, school dances, nights at the symphony, amusement parks and festivals. I remember a boy who rode his bike to my house, and sweet letters of love. I remember conversations of deep importance and conversations of sheer ridiculousness (which is why we so often laugh). My memory served me well in the writing of my book… the days of the week on which my children were born, how it felt to be a mom, and the emotions (positive and negative) that I’ve experienced surrounding all of it.

This blows people’s minds, by the way – it really does. “How can you remember ALL of that?” they often ask. I believe that the majority of folks can barely remember what they ate for breakfast, much less what they did in June of 1977, am I right? But for some reason, I remember. The fact that I kept a journal (which has long since been destroyed) helped. But what I found funny about those early journals was that I often wrote things like: “Dear Journal: We had so much fun tonight – I’ll write more later.” But then I didn’t write more later. Go figure…

The few friends that I still have from long-ago high school days, know this about me and appreciate how my head operates. I’ve become something of the group ‘historian.’ “Katie, do you remember when we went (Fill in the blank here - camping, to the Brewers game, shopping, whatever) and then we …?”  and I answer, “Yep, I remember it – what do you want to know?”

For many of these exact same reasons I find having this good memory a curse. If I’m being honest, not all family times were pleasant or produced good conversations or laughs. Not all vacations were a blazing success. People want to ‘move on, and move forward,’ so remembering sweet old friends can be bittersweet indeed. Sometimes it’s painful to remember ‘the good ole days,’ especially if I’m the only one who remembers. I find that men, specifically, (even Todd -  unless it’s about cars, boats, trains, you get the picture) have terrible memories. My dad is the exception to this. He’s the same way as me, which is probably where I get this attribute from.  Sometimes people like to keep their past in the past, and don’t like to be reminded of previous blights, blunders, OR even past bliss, for that matter. Not everyone finds it fun or enlightening. Sometimes it hurts when I remember something meaningful that I found great joy or deep sadness in, but the other person doesn’t remember it at all. It almost makes me feel like it never happened – like it was a dream or something… which of course it wasn’t.

But having this memory is simply who I am. Most of the time I wouldn’t change it for the world. The many blessings outweigh the minor curses. I can make a roomful of people laugh so hard that they thank me later. (Of course the opposite is also true – minus the ‘thanks.’) Maybe it’s even what makes me a writer… who knows?

So, anyway, if you’re ever wondering where you were or what you were doing on the 25^th day of June in 1970-something, just ask me. I’ll probably remember because:  I was on a bus wearing my blue “Virginia is for Lovers” t-shirt, and listening to Fleetwood Mac; or another time wearing my blue jean cut-offs while washing the dishes during a thunderstorm while listening to Gustav Holst on classical radio; or on Memorial Day weekend of 1980-something, driving to the cottage in our blue pick-up truck, eating French fries and singing along to Alabama’s “Mountain Music…”

And my hope is – my prayer is – that no matter the memory, I’ll never forget.

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

A Whirlwind of a Week in Waukesha, Wis.

Now, before I tell you about my whirlwind week, allow me to first lay a bit of groundwork…

In the fall of 2013, Tony was asked to be the guest musician/speaker at a camp in Florida, April 11-13, 2014. “Hands 2 Love” has been hosting camp for 14 years. It started with seven families, all who were raising a child with a limb difference. This year they hosted 70 families. As positive comments about my book filtered out into the limb difference community, H2L also invited me to fly down to Florida, be with Tony, and share pieces of our family’s story with the other parents. After the camp’s organizer (Ruthie) read my book, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference,” she thought that Todd had an interesting perspective as well – so she invited him to come to Florida too.

Our son-in-law (Joe’s) parents recently celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. The good news was that Megan and Joe were coming home to Wisconsin for a surprise party for Joe’s mom and dad. The bad news was that they were coming the weekend of April 11-13. Are you with me so far??? Why must EVERYTHING ALWAYS happen in the same week???  That d*rn Murphy and his law…!

I felt sad and disappointed that the two events criss-crossed. At the same time, I’d committed to this camp and its good cause, which is, as you know, very near and dear to my heart. Thankfully, Megan and Joe were able to add a few extra days to the beginning of their trip, and Todd and I got to spend a couple of days/nights with the kids, whom we hadn’t seen since Thanksgiving. From the time I picked the two up at the airport, we ran at full schedule. We visited extended family members, went out to dinner, went shopping (it wouldn’t be a reunion with Megan if we didn’t somehow go shopping!) drank a glass (or two) of wine, talked, talked, talked (did I mention talk?) Overall we had a lovely visit. So, though our time together was limited, on the day of Joe’s parents’ party, the kids dropped Todd and me at the airport, and then enjoyed quality time with Joe’s family – a win/win. His mom and dad were so surprised and excited to see the kids. Success!

Todd and I flew into Gainesville, Florida - a part of Florida that we'd never visited before. The camp was set on a lake’s shore with cabins scattered around the outskirts. It was a very pretty sight. Todd, Tony and I stayed at a motel. The number of camp families had grown so large that some of the attendees stayed at the motel too.

The weather turned out gorgeous – if you enjoy blue skies, temps in the low 80’s, and a light wind blowing thru the trees. On Monday, as I sat at my dining room table looking out at the snow swirling around in my back yard (again!), it was hard to believe we just experienced all of that beautiful weather the day before. Though I love my Wis. home, those warm breezes surely did call out my name…

Everyone at the camp welcomed us with warm smiles and hugs. It was such fun to finally associate faces and names to certain Facebook friends of mine. Every so often someone came up to introduce herself to me, and we’d smile and laugh as old friends – which of course we are! Oh, social media - how you’ve changed the world! Ruthie showed us around and explained what we’d be doing on Saturday. How strange it was for me to be back in a camp setting after so many years. It brought back wonderful memories of my own experiences attending 4-H and church camps. Isn’t it amazing how things ‘stay the same’ even as they change? Think about it…  

On Saturday morning I felt a little nervous. Todd and I planned to host four parent sessions throughout the day, while their kids attended a music clinic with Tony and a drumming specialist. The subject of our sessions was “Networking.” I remember so clearly being a young mom, trying to find other families to connect with who felt the same way I did. For many parents those feelings still ring true. Let me say this… the world is not always kind, as we all know. But when you are raising a child with a ‘difference,’ when you’re often on guard, watching for people’s reactions, listening for hurtful comments, it can be – well – it can be exhausting. This was a weekend where the parents felt peaceful, ‘at home,’ their children could simply ‘be.’ Since everyone attended for a united purpose, there was never a time for them to feel signaled out or alone. Everyone there was in it together. I hoped and prayed that Todd’s and my message would be heard and well-received because working with these young moms and dads is one of the joys of my life - truly.

Our outdoor location could not have been more fantastic. We sat high up on a hill, with mossy trees providing our shade. We looked to our left – lake. We looked to our right – lake. From the nearby rec center we heard the sounds of the distant drum clinic, and our son’s voice leading a chorus of children in “The Lucky Fin Song.” What a rough way to spend a work day, you know?  A tough job, but somebody had to do it… ;)  The beautiful setting seemed to remove any apprehension.

As I prepared at home the week before, I came across this statement about networking:

“Be amongst others who share your dream.”

I believe that all parents dream for their children – I know that I did and still do! We dream about their futures, what choices they’ll make, what line of work they’ll choose, who they’ll meet (and possibly marry someday)… These parents are coming from many miles to network with other parents who all share a similar bond. Every one of them shares their life with a person (mostly a child) with a limb difference. So as they network about their beautiful kids, as they share what works and what doesn’t, as they laugh or tear up, they know they’re “amongst others who share their dream.” The feedback I received was that, at this time in their lives, nothing is better than that. The date for camp is marked on their calendars already for next year. The countdown has begun.

Camp ended on Sunday morning. Tony spoke to all of the kids and adults, showed the captive audience how he “tapes up” with Gorilla Tape every time he plays. He talked about persistence in doing what you love to do. He sang a couple of his songs. And finally, at the end, he led the whole children’s group in “The Lucky Fin Song,” and all of the kids did hand motions. If there was a dry eye in the place, I didn’t see it. An emotional slide show ended the morning, showing all of the special things (archery, art, music, ropes course, etc.) the kids had done and accomplished throughout the weekend.  Click here to see the Lucky Fin Song video from August, 2013:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Q8pRO_4MI&list=PLAB4186F7073B844F

I want to personally thank all of those at Hands 2 Love who take their time, energy, resources, and love to host this camp each year. They’ve grown ten-fold since their beginning 14 years ago. Who even knows what the future may hold? All I know is that when I was a young mother, it was awfully difficult to find someone who understood what I was feeling. There is growing support out there for all of these parents who want to network, and “be amongst others who share their dream.”

…and there’s a message in there for us all...

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” The book is available thru Amazon. For more information, go to www.katiekolbergmemmel.com