Megan, Joe, and their BIG announcement...

Megan, Joe, and Macie - January 17, 2015

 



So ummm… I have a bit of a confession to make. Our family has been keeping quite a secret for about seven weeks now – since Thanksgiving Day, actually.

I’ll come right out with the news, and then fill you in on all of the details. (Drum roll please) Our daughter, Megan, and her husband, Joe, are expecting a baby. Yes, it’s true. Our daughter’s going to be a mama. Her due date is in July. So… if you’ve done the math, this development is going to make Todd and me grandparents! Grampa Todd and Gramma Katie – can you even believe it???

Future Grandparents

To say we’re excited is an understatement. From the moment we heard the news we wanted to begin sharing with everyone; but it’s always good to see how things go for a bit, make sure all is well. The good news is that all seems to be going very well.   

What happened was this… During the week of Thanksgiving, I received a text message from Megan. It said that we should watch for an envelope to come in the mail, but if it was okay, just hold off opening it until we could talk. I didn’t think too much about it – we often ship things to each other, especially on holiday weeks, so I promised we wouldn’t open it. The envelope did arrive, and it was ‘squishy.’ I could tell it wasn’t a card or book or anything. We made a plan to Skype on Thanksgiving morning, when Todd and Joe would both be home.

A vague thought occurred to me. Could she be pregnant? Naaahhh… Probably not. She hasn’t said anything to make me think that – although she did recently ‘change doctors’ and ask me for an updated family medical history. Hmmm… I did not mention my suspicion to Todd, just in case I was very very wrong.

A vague thought occurred to Todd. Could she be pregnant? Naaahhh… Probably not. She hasn’t said anything to make us think that – although she did recently ‘change doctors’ and asked Kate for an updated family medical history. Hmmm… He did not mention his suspicions to me – just in case he was very very wrong.

During the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, we skyped with the kids. As our television displayed huge balloons floating above NYC, we were told to open the envelope. Todd turned to me and whispered, “I’m going to write my idea down, see if I’m right…” He picked up his pencil and wrote a single word on his nearby box of Swedish Fish candy…

We opened our package, and inside was a beautiful card, along with a tiny baby outfit, with turkeys stamped all over it. On the sleeper’s backside was a little puffy turkey, complete with fanned-out feathers. “Mom and Dad, we’re having a baby – You’re going to be grandparents.”  

The little turkey outfit :) 

Todd and I both felt so happy – sitting together on that special holiday morning, being able to see the excitement on the kids’ faces as they gave us the good news, all of us sharing the tears of joy that only accompany wonderful news such as this. Todd finally revealed that he’d written the word, “Pregnant” before they divulged their news, just so that we’d believe him if that was indeed the news.

Megan said they’d been to the doctor, and that things looked normal. She often felt tired, and a little nauseous, but so far, so good. It was funny because she suddenly seemed so different to me. With the simple delivery of their news, so much had changed. This was my child – preparing to have a child. I felt protective, wanted her to get plenty of rest, eat well, not lift anything heavy or accidentally slip on a snowy sidewalk. I’m sure it’s just the beginning of lots of feelings for all of us.

Megan and me - April, 2013

Since it was so early in the pregnancy, they asked us to keep their secret a secret, especially since they were coming home to Waukesha for Christmas. They wanted to see people in person, and give them the good news face-to-face. Of course we agreed to silence, but I’m not gonna lie - it’s been tough. As you know, I talk a great deal, and had to really guard myself against letting anything slip. But nothing did.

The exception to the silence was that each of the kids called their siblings, and gave the good news via telephone. Megan said that Tony and Lesleigh sounded very excited for them and asked lots of questions. Most of all, Tony encouraged them to name the baby “Anthony,” and if a girl, “Antoinette.”  …a simple request… (shrugs) ;) 

My fav four in NYC after the MABF competition - June, 2014

I must admit that our silence paid off because it was a true joy on Christmas morning to watch Megan and Joe tell my 92-year-old dad the good news, and to see his reaction. It was also fun to witness the hugs and hear the many well-wishes from aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

I’ve been planning this blog post for ooohhh, about seven weeks now, promising I wouldn’t do anything until the kids were ready to make their announcement “Facebook Official.”

And so, here we are at about thirteen weeks (but who’s counting???) With the kids living in Connecticut, we’re looking at logistics of how things might play out. Can we figure out a time for them to come back here for a baby shower? Will we travel there immediately post baby, or wait a bit? What makes the best sense? We don’t need to have every answer right now, but we’re thinking about it all, as you can imagine.

And that little turkey outfit? It’s been on a hanger in our living room since the day we found out. It makes us smile when we see it, makes us feel closer to the situation, helps to bridge the many miles between us.

As the weeks and months tick by, I’m sure there’ll be a lot more I’ll write about all of this; but for today, I ask this… Please keep Megan, Joe, and their little “Baby S” in your most positive thoughts and deepest prayers. Oh, and maybe, since this is new for us all, just throw our whole family into that mix, just for good measure!

As always, thanks for reading…

Until we blog again,

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information about the book and the author, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

A Family's Calendar Changes

Happy New Year!!!

I hope that your new year is off to a good start. We had a fun New Year’s Eve, going out for dinner with my sister and brother-in-law, and then coming back home for drinks and a midnight toast. Not even twenty-four hours after that nice celebration, I came down with that lovely flu that many are lamenting. Blood shot eyes, wheezing, sneezing, etc… Yay! Woo Hoo! What a way to kick off 2015! (Rolls eyes) It wasn’t my first choice of how to spend this weekend, but since I’m a writer, there’s always something constructive I can do, right here at home. I decided to put my stay-at-home time to good use and write a blog post.

One of the gifts I receive for Christmas each year is a calendar. Depending on what’s going on with our life at the time, I’ve been gifted a variety of themes: kittens, vacation destinations, our hometown of Milwaukee, and my all-time favorite creature – penguins!

 

I gathered up our old calendar from last year so that I could accurately transfer birthdays and anniversaries to our new year. I also had a number of other ‘save the date’ types of notices that I accurately wrote into our 2015 life.

And then it hit me…

Do you have any idea how large this calendar project used to be? I remember when I’d sit down in early January with pages of activities to add to our life. Sports (practice nights and game times for two children), church commitments, band and choir concerts, marching band competitions and parades, college move-in dates… the list would go on and on.

Sometimes, just sitting in my home on that early January day, I’d see conflicts arise between activities, and feel that shot of adrenaline surge through me. Surely we’ll be able to work through this scheduling problem, right? RIGHT? Surely this wedding date can be changed to accommodate the state marching band competition, right? WRONG! Sometimes choices needed to be made. But there’s nothing like worrying about June in January – and yet I definitely did.

But it was fun too! Our home was so alive then – a boy, a girl, dogs and cats, school breaks, soccer, basketball, baton, confirmation classes, trumpets, flutes, marching, friends… And somehow everything got done. It all worked out. Despite the inevitable conflicts, everything worked out as it should, because here we are! We came out the other side.

Todd and I are still busy folk. We’re no longer in charge of coordinating all of those activities for our kids – obviously! They’re on their own now with all of that. But we do stay busy with our own lives - work, clubs and meetings, classes, and organizations.

As I sat at my dining room table today, I couldn’t help but think back to those crazy good old days of soccer practices and candy sales, our family attending both the Macy’s Parade in NYC and the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena, California.

In some ways it’s been a crazy life – one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

But I do believe there was a time for some of that insanity, and overall, I’m okay with where we are now. And who even knows what lies ahead to fill up those calendar dates in our future??? It will be fun to see what the future holds.

Here’s to a great year in 2015!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

The Merriest of Christmas's to All...!

Well hello, and Merriest of Christmas’s to you all!

Are you ready? Are you ready for whatever you’ll be doing to celebrate (or hibernate, or avoid life) over the next few days? I’m pretty ready – not as ready as I’d like to be, and yet here I am, writing a blog post instead of cleaning my counter tops or baking another batch of cookies. Ah well… some of us clean our houses, some of us are baking fools, and some of us write blog posts! Am I right???  ;) 

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about Christmas – the ways we celebrated when I was a kid; traditions I cherished as a teen; ways that Todd and I celebrated with our own kids; and even where we are now.

Christmas Tree, 2014

When I think back, our family’s celebrations weren’t always like other families. My dad was a fireman, so he often needed to work on holidays, leaving my mom and the four of us kids home alone. I learned early on that we needed to be flexible, and that holidays could be held on alternate days. One Christmas I remember being very concerned when my parents said we’d open presents on Christmas Eve. I wanted to know if Santa would find us in time, or if Dad would have to miss it entirely. They suggested I write Santa a letter, requesting our family be one of the first stops on his list that night - maybe even while we were at church! “Will he do that?” I asked. “We don’t see why not,. He's gotta start somewhere,” they answered. I wrote the letter, and sure enough – Santa came early... Remarkable! J 

I found one solid constant to our Christmas. Every Christmas Eve, from the time I was in Kindergarten until I was in eighth grade, I participated in our church’s Christmas program. From the weekend after Thanksgiving until Christmas Eve, the Sunday school children got together on Saturday mornings from like nine till noon, for practices. Each child received a verse that they’d speak as part of the Christmas story, and each class would process up to the front to deliver our important message. We memorized and sang Christmas songs, and worked at home with our parents, reciting the required words. To this day I remember every word of “Luke’s” precious message…  “…for unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you – you will find the babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest and on earth, peace, goodwill to men…”  

As a teenager, I joined the church choir, and enjoyed learning Christmas music in four parts.  I don’t really know if we sounded good or not; but I do know that I really loved being part of the group. I always sang alto, and I still like to harmonize. I’m the person who brings in the low part to “What Child is This” and “O Come All Ye Faithful.” What can I say? Old habits die hard. During these teen years I was also part of our youth group. On a December Sunday afternoon we would decorate the church with green boughs and red bows; and then later that day, we’d go Christmas caroling – but not around the neighborhood. This group always went into nursing homes and to people’s homes where the elderly could no longer get to church. During these events, I noticed that our listeners often teared up, became emotional. At first I didn’t really understand why that happened. Christmas was such an exciting happy time. Tears did not yet compute to my early teenage brain. I told my mom about it, and she explained that perhaps they were thinking of years past, happier times of family and children, maybe loved ones that had passed away. Seeing our young faces, so full of hope and promise, singing the old traditional carols, might have brought out many feelings in them – from sadness to joy. “Even joy brings tears sometimes,” she said. I knew I’d never view caroling (or Christmas, for that matter) the same way again.

Megan and Tony on Santa's lap - 1988 :) 

Outside of attending church, our family didn’t have hard and fast Christmas traditions. So when I met Todd, and he seemed to have ideas on all things Christmas – from gift giving, to decorating, to family parties – it took some getting used to. Does that seem odd? As I write this, I guess it seems odd to me; odd but true. Todd had many more ideas about all of this than I ever did. He loves Christmas, and that’s nice. I think it rubbed off on me too because we were pretty festive with our own kids – pretty elaborate with our descriptions of the who, what, where, when, why and how “certain things” happen at Christmas. (I’ll be vague here, just in case certain young eyes are reading) ;)  We always tried to make Christmas special for our kids. Church on Christmas Eve remained our absolute constant, followed by gift-giving. It was always a lot of fun – even into their high school and college years – to have one of the kids run up the stairs after church and yell, “Santa came!”

Our house at night, during Christmas time

Last year, 2013, would have been the first year Todd and I celebrated without either of our children. Megan and Joe moved away in 2010, and Tony and Les moved away in November of 2013. But instead, we planned a trip to Nashville over the holidays, to buy ourselves a year to think about it. Tony found a church service down there that he thought we’d enjoy, and he was right – we did. Todd and I eventually exchanged gifts after we got back, our minds full of new memories of how the holiday could be spent. Now, here we are at 2014, and Megan and Joe are home to celebrate with both of the families. Do we have traditions? Yes and no… We do what we can. We celebrate with whoever is here, when we’re here. We’re hosting our annual Christmas Day brunch. The crowd may change, but the event can remain the same. Church on Christmas Eve??? Ummm – By now you know that’s non-negotiable!  

As I look back on so many people, traditions, innovative new and old ways of celebrating Christmas, I’m grateful that we’ve been rich – not necessarily rich in “things” but in our experiences. And most of all, I love that it was instilled in me from very little on, that the only constant – the only thing I could never change about Christmas – wouldn’t want to change about Christmas – is celebrating the real reason for the season - Christ’s birthday – the main event – the one thing I’d never want to miss. “This, this is Christ the king, whom shepherds guard, and angels sing. Haste, haste to bring him laud, the babe, the son of Mary…”

So, as I said earlier, no matter your status over the next few days, be blessed. A very Merry Christmas to you all, and to all a good – no, a great – night!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, go to her website: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

 

 

The Ambassadors of Harmony

A few years back, I became acquainted with an inspiring group of male singers who call themselves, “The Ambassadors of Harmony.” My Aunt Catherine lives at an apartment complex for people in the age range of “55-plus,” and most of the ambassadors live there too. But if I were a betting woman (which I’ve been known to be) I’d wager that most of these gents are considerably older than 55 (like 20-40 years older). They perform in the community room a couple of times per year, and when they put on a show, I love to be present. Today was one of those days…

 

The group is comprised of about three dozen men who sing four-part barbershop harmonies every chance they get. They commit to practice on weekdays, and look forward to booking gigs out in the community. Sharply dressed in matching suit coats, shirts, pants and ties, they take turns with the tasks of directing, announcing, and joke-telling. Some of the men need to sit in their seats (most of the time), and some prefer to stand (most of the time).

 

The members of this impressive group of songsters have experienced most of what life can throw their way – the goods, the bads and the in-betweens. Some are happily married. Some enjoyed long-lasting and loving marriages, and now find themselves widowers. Some have “bach-ed” it through life, and a few have found divorce along their paths. Most have proudly served in a branch of our country's military, and fought for our/our country’s freedoms.

 

A four-part harmony quartet - they laugh when they call themselves "The B Flats" ;) 

But the one solid thing that these “boys” have in common is that they LOVE to sing – and they LOVE to sing it ALL! In four-part harmony, they perform some oldies but goodies: My Wild Irish Rose, Mem-o-ries, This Little Light of Mine (Do Lord…) and Let’s Bust a Chord. I was blessed to see them today, and since it’s so close to the holidays, they sang some of their Christmas fare: Silent Night, O Holy Night (complete with a tenor solo), Hark the Herald Angels Sing, and a rousing chorus of Jingle Bells. For me, personally, what touches my heart the most is when they move into their patriotic portion of the show. These gentlemen have such a strong love of God and country, that it feels contagious: God Bless America and The Battle Hymn. I was also moved to hear that during the Milwaukee Brewers’ 2014 season, “The Ambassadors of Harmony” were privileged to sing The National Anthem before a Brewers home game. They opened their set today with The Star Spangled Banner, and even those who could not physically stand for anything else, were helped to their feet, and proudly stood with their brothers, each with their hand over their heart.

 

All of the men standing, singing the Star Spangled Banner

 

There’s just something about this group of guys that inspires me. They were once young men, fought in wars, weathered all of life’s many storms. They married, had children, and now grand (and great grand) children. They worked hard at jobs and are now retired. They know where they’ve been, and they seem to know who they are. They love their God and they love their United States… to them, it’s that simple.

No matter their advancing age, they do not quit, saying they have nothing left to offer. No! They love to sing – a fact that is most obvious to all who hear them, and doesn’t appear to ever change.

Thank you all for sharing that gift with us, year after year. I feel blessed to know of you...


Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, go to her website: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

The Holidays are Coming, the Holidays are Coming...!

            Friends, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking - a dangerous pastime, I know… (Straight out of Beauty and the Beast) ;) 

But yeah, I’ve been thinking about how things change as we age, and today’s topic is going to be the upcoming holidays.

I don’t know if this ever happened in your family or not, but years ago, the topic of “the holidays” could surface for me as early as July. I’d be sitting here sweating on a hot summer’s day, plotting out the current day’s events for my kids – park, picnic or pool, pool, picnic or park? The phone would ring and I’d quickly answer, (wrongly) assuming that I’d simply engage in polite chit chat. But oh no no no no no. Before I knew what hit me, ye ‘ol yearly question would be sprung, then loom like mist for the next half-year… “Who’s hosting Christmas this year? Are YOU hosting Christmas this year?”

Now remember, it was only July, so I was taken completely off-guard. I’d hem, I’d haw, but what could I really say? I had NO idea who was hosting Christmas that year, nor if I was hosting Christmas that year. I could offer up that Todd and I had hosted the previous year, or I could say I thought it might be our turn, but other than that, I truly hadn’t given it much thought on that sunny summer day.  

To be honest, our holiday gatherings (no matter who hosted) could range from spectacular to sheer mayhem. Let’s just be real kind right now, and say that some family members were easier to hit it off with than others. So thinking about December in July did not bring me much joy. Why in fact, it held the very real potential to start up an argument that very night. Nothing like a little Christmas conflict during the 4^th of July fireworks! ;)

It’s just weird to think about it now because so much has changed. Both of Todd’s parents have long since passed away - his mom in 2006 and his dad shortly after in 2008. Todd’s siblings are literally scattered from coast to coast. His brother (and family) lives in the San Diego area, while his sister (and family) resides in Charleston, South Carolina. Though my own siblings and dad are all relatively close by, my mom passed away in 2003; and before that, she “celebrated” three holiday seasons in her nursing home.

And talk about change! Get this - my own two kids grew up! Yeah, I know – how weird is that? When they were little, I didn’t think that would ever happen. But it did! They grew up and went away to school, and they got married, and we had to share them on holidays with the other two families – just like our parents needed to share Todd and me, once-upon-a-time. The difference was that we were ten miles down the road – not 500 to 1,000. With Megan and Joe living in Connecticut, and Tony and Lesleigh living in Nashville, nothing is at all the same as it was years ago, for our own parents. We can’t really count on anything. Our plan-making conversations hold a lot of “We’ll have to see how this year plays out,” - as you can imagine.

Now that I’m in my 50’s, I think I understand a bit better why people started planning events so early. They like to know where they stand - I get it. But for us the logistics are so completely different. If we want to spend the holidays together we might start planning in July because we all must consider work schedules, flight arrangements (or preventive car maintenance), hotel reservations, weather delays, and much more. Last year we were able to go visit both kids. We flew to Connecticut for Thanksgiving (see November 2013 blog posts) and drove to Nashville for Christmas. It was such a relief to not have to even think about what we’d do over the holidays, because we’d be traveling, seeing the people we love the most in this world. I guess that’s what our parents were trying to figure out all those years ago – they wanted to spend their holidays with those that they loved the most in this world – us. See? I get it now.

My sister called a few days ago and asked me what we were doing for Thanksgiving. Since I no longer plan for the holidays in the summertime, it felt strange to say, “I don’t really know.” She reminded me that the holiday is less than three weeks away, which I do know. But somehow without my own kids here in town, none of it matters nearly as much as it used to. She was very kind to invite us over, and we did accept; but it also brought out some odd feelings, which I’m sharing with you now.

When I sit back and think about all of the holidays past – all of the familial dramas that ensued, all of the people who are now gone – it kind of makes me long for my phone to jingle in July and for someone’s voice to inquire, “Who’s hosting Christmas this year? Are YOU hosting Christmas this year?” (Of course the answer would be, “No,” since I really don’t love to host, and usually only do it when my arm is twisted and it’s my turn)   ;)  I realized that I miss the people more than the actual calls; but it would be fun to banter it again anyway, this time from a more mature viewpoint. Who knows? I might even find it all a bit humorous…

The good news is that this year, Megan and Joe are going to be in town over Christmas! (Yay! Yippeee!) So for months now we’ve been badgering them with questions like, “What are you doing on this day, that day, can we have you on blah blah blah…?,” and they must now decide how to arrange it all, just like we had to years ago.

So… as you set out to celebrate because “The holidays are coming, the holidays are coming!” just remember this:  (in the wise words of Billy Joel)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSaaEVAMi3o

“This is the time to remember cuz it will not last forever..."

You may not want to remember these days, these holidays, but they are the memories you’ll have – the good, the bad, and the horrendous.

So, whether you’re hosting or helping…

God bless you, your families, and your holidays – from July all the way thru December!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference." For more information, or to purchase her book, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

Happiest of Halloweens!

Halloween…

It’s been so much fun this year watching Facebook friends post pictures of their little costumed ghosties, goblins, princesses, Nemo fish, good witches, etc. When my nephew and his wife invited his parents (my sister and brother-in-law) and us (Todd and me) to their new home to pass out candy for their subdivision trick-or-treat event, we couldn’t resist the fun. My nephew (dressed as Superman), his wife (dressed as Mini Mouse) and their 3-year-old daughter (one of those ‘good witches’ I mentioned) set out for an hour and a half of frightening excitement. The four of us sat huddled on their dark front porch, ready to participate in the fun. We were manned with huge tubs of chocolate and fruity candies, ready to drop into their neighborhood kids’ open bags. We watched as tractors (decked out as lighted parade floats) pulled carts full of kids to their spooky destinations.

 

Mini Mouse, Superman, and the 'good witch' ;)

 

As my sister and I exchanged banter of our own trick-or-treat days, memories of Halloweens past came flooding back to me.

When I was very little, my older siblings took me trick-or-treating. That was back when the holiday really did take place on the 31^st of October, while it was dark outside. But pretty early on I remember great hullabaloo when our city, and most surrounding areas, switched trick-or-treat to after-school or weekend daylight hours. That’s when I started going out with friends, no adults required. If the times were set from 4 till 7, then we started at 4 and finished at 7. None of these, “I’m tired,” or “I’m cold” excuses from me – Nosiree! I think I trick-or-treated through age 13 - 8^th grade. After that, I handed out candy - after all, somebody has to do it.  

Whenever we asked our parents, “What should I be for Halloween?” They pointed to the old box of props in the closet and suggested their old stand-by, “Well, there’s a ‘nose and glasses’ you could wear.” OR there was the ever-popular suggestion, “Smear Vaseline on your face and cover it with coffee grinds – makes for a great beard!” Ick – no thanks… Our costumes turned out to be pretty simple – usually whatever we could find in our closets. Black pants and a black turtle neck worked nicely as a black cat. One year I became a musician by wearing a flannel shirt and blue jeans, and strapping a cut-out wooden guitar on my back.

I know that Halloween has always had a dark side, but in my life, I’ve always had lots of fun celebrating the holiday. Why, even at the conservative church where I grew up, we had youth group Halloween parties. Some of the older kids would transform a storage closet into a haunted house. Remember that old story about the guy - peeled grapes were his eyes, and cold spaghetti his brains? Yes… All things I learned from Halloween parties of my youth; and all things I passed on to my own kids.

In high school I went to my first reeeaaaalll haunted house – one of those seasonal money-makers for charity. Suffice to say it was nothing like the innocent ones from my church basement days. The dark hallways and strangely-lit scenes of horror scared me more than words can tell. Yes, I screamed and yes, I cowered… Although, if the truth be told, it was pretty much fun too, depending on whom I was with… and whose hand I held.  ;)

Megan, Tony, and Todd :)

 

Todd has always loved holidays – all holidays. We took our kids to pumpkin farms, and sat around the dining room table, each creating and carving a face or image of our liking. My own jack-o-lanterns were very traditional: triangle eyes, a square nose, and a jagged-tooth mouth. Todd often tried his hand at more trendy options such as black cats with whiskers. Even after a long day of work, he enjoyed carving pumpkins and especially taking the kids out trick-or-treating. As a kid he had also participated in the marathon door-to-door ritual, just like I had. He’d leave his home at the designated time and not return until the clock struck the end time. As our own kids grew, our neighbors would sometimes ask if their children could tag along; but their longevity and commitment to Todd’s, Tony’s and Megan’s Halloween trick-or-treat sessions could not be matched. I’d see them all return to drop off the exhausted neighbor, only to turn around and leave again, heading the other direction. J  (I always handed out the candy.) I think that of all the traditions we’ve participated in through the years, the kids probably remember this as the ‘best of times’ with their dad.

And so here we are. Our city re-instituted October 31 (in the dark) as traditional trick-or-treat. I still pass out the candy. Todd tries to get home from work in time to enjoy some of the little ones in their sweet costumes. We’ve (almost always) decorated our porch with a ghost, some lit-up pumpkins, and even some scary guys sometimes. Never let it be said that the Memmels are not good sports!

 

I must say that to this day, at night, this is a neighborhood fav,! 

No matter what stage of life we’re in, I hope that Todd and I will continue to find the childlike amusement of Halloween. Here’s hoping for some good, clean fun for us all this spooky season!   

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information about her and her book, go to her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

 

 

 

The Soundtrack of my Life...

Have you ever stopped to consider what music might be used for the soundtrack of your life? Since I’m a lover of both movies and music, I do stop to consider crazy things like this. I wonder sometimes who might ‘play’ me in my movie, and what songs could be used to highlight the various ages and stages of my story. I’m a music lover, so the musical choices loom endless, but I think that the following are high points I’d need to consider – my life’s highlights, if you will.

I’m the youngest of four siblings, and my brother, Dan, is 11 years my senior. As a young teen, he purchased a multitude of 45’s. When he went off to college, he left an old shoebox full of these musical treasures, and I found them. When I was about 7, 8, 9 years old, I’d spend hours stacking these oldies but goodies on my parents’ old phonograph record changer, waiting for each one to drop. Here’s a taste of the delicious oldies I fell privy to:  Peter & Gordon’s I Go to Pieces, Simon & Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water, Herman’s Hermits’ Silhouettes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9VaNoGscYo ,  and the Beatles’ I Wanna Hold Your Hand https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MHkgwA8t-g . I memorized all the lyrics, and performed them in front of our living room mirror – a hairbrush as my microphone.  

I remember when the radio became important to me. Our family only had one – it sat on a shelf in the kitchen, tucked into the corner near the sink. Often while washing the dishes, I bargained with my mom to change the station from her conservative AM talk choice, to the more cutting-edge concept of FM. Don McLean’s American Pie,  Carly Simon’s You’re so Vain, and Roberta Flack’s Killing Me Softly began to affect and really move me. Some of my friends developed huge crushes on pop/rock idols such as young Elton John; but to be honest, I really liked everybody.  “A long long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih7N9_VUU4U

As a kid I joined our church choir and grew to love singing to God in worship, harmonizing in four parts with friends that I still see to this day. * NOTE: Hymns and songs with religious significance grew even more important to me in the early 2000’s when my mom was in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s Disease. She didn’t always remember who people were or the significance they held to her life, but to the day she died she remembered all of the words that praised God. This fact was not lost on me.*  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdOyrpXNGlI A nice arrangement of “Amazing Grace” by Tony Memmel.

During these young years I also began playing the trumpet and French horn, and as I moved into middle school and high school, my appreciation for classical music began to deepen. I played in band (including marching and jazz), orchestra, and smaller ensembles such as brass choirs and quintets. I participated in solo/ensemble competitions, and even took private lessons for a while. Our high school band traveled to competitions in both Virginia Beach and Winnipeg Canada. I grew to love playing band music, especially rousing pieces like Gustav Holst’s Suite in E flat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLbP6qpI1YI . True story - one of the most memorable ‘dates’ of my life was when my young ‘suitor’ planned dinner in downtown Milwaukee, and an evening at the Symphony. There are many songs I take away from this time of my life, but Gabrieli’s Sonata Piano Forte always spoke to me.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQeikHMQGOM

High School – this paragraph could no doubt morph into a book of its own; but for me, musically it became known for groups such as Boston, Journey, Styx, Kansas, Fleetwood Mac, Bob Seeger, and REO Speedwagon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHu-SqUqoak . However, I’ll never forget my first concert experience. It was 1978. Billy Joel began his three-hour show by whistling The Stranger, to a dark Milwaukee auditorium. Absolutely unforgettable!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdLPI6XhEN8  During this time there was also a popular radio song that really spoke to me. “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill. It just beautifully captured the turmoil of off-again/on-again relationships so common in teen romance; and to this day, when I hear it, I weep. ;)  (Just kidding, but seriously – I weep)  “…at times I think we’re drifters, just searchin’ for a friend, a brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again…” (sigh) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IATz8ZVTALo

Disco – What can I say? It was a big part of my era! Many bowling alleys used to have a bar/disco hidden inside. I actually met Todd in a club when he came up and asked me to dance (one of the first chapters of my book, if you recall). Songs such as “Funkytown” and “I Will Survive” can still slap me back to the late 70’s/early 80’s. But after I met Todd and as we got to really know each other, our song became Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle. “… I’ve looked around enough to know that you’re the one I wanna go through time with…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO1rMeYnOmM . Along with this timeframe also comes the Eagles, Neal Diamond (circa The Jazz Singer) and some Dan Fogelberg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhjYbfK9vrk

Men at Work, Phil Collins, Wham, Alabama, John Mellencamp, Steve Miller Band – these are some of the popular groups we enjoyed early in our marriage. But during the week that Tony was born, in December of 1985, a song called “Broken Wings” (Mr. Mister) went to number one. “Take these broken wings, and learn to fly again, learn to live so free…”  I know it’s a love song, but given that he was missing his left forearm, that song just stuck with me. I cannot hear it without thinking about baby Tony, and those first weeks of his life.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKhN1t_7PEY

Rod Stewart’s “Forever Young” came out in the fall of 1988. After I gave birth to Megan, Todd’s sister, Jodi, said that she dubbed the song as Megan’s. “…Be courageous and be brave, and in my heart you’ll always stay forever young…” To this day, this is Megan’s song. :-/  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1T9apksOv6k

As my kids grew, I taught them all my old musical favorites, but as time went on, and they became radio listeners of their own music, they began to teach me some new selections. * Note: Todd never did swing into the kids’ new music. He still listens to classic rock and country to this day. * The mid to late 90’s brought us (via the children) Dave Mathews, the Backstreet Boys, N Sync, Green Day, and the Goo Goo Dolls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73cWfFEKAfE  Life was changing…

In 2001, Tony and his friends started a garage band. Not only did they imitate the ska style that was so popular in the early 2000’s, (Reel Big Fish, Less than Jake, Goldfinger) but he also began writing his own music. This was a significant portion of my book, and would definitely need to be added to the soundtrack of my life. Tony’s albums: Tale of an Underdog, Potter Road, Here We Go, Yours and Mine, and Clenched Hands/Brave Demands… and the Lucky Fin Song J https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Q8pRO_4MI

As the kids grew up, went to college and got married, I was back on my own musically. Yes, they still continue to influence me and encourage me to check out new things, but I’ve also found some encouraging music for my own life. One song that particularly speaks to me is “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. The lyrics say, “…feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in, no one else can speak the words on your lips, paint yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten…” Oh, and don’t forget “Landslide” – may I just say WOW, You know?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sQ7cuYgjzw  “…well I’ve been afraid of changin’ cuz I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older, I’m getting older too…” (This song brings out the tears – absolutely!)

As of this date, September 28, 2014, these are some of the songs that could appear in the soundtrack of my life. I hoped you enjoyed this little trip through my Memory Lane. This was fun for me to think about and to consider. It’s so encouraging for a 50-something gal like me, after all I’ve endured and lived through, to think of my life as ‘still unwritten…’ to not have every answer… After all, none of us knows what lies ahead – Life is a blank page. It’s up to us (with God’s help) what we choose to make it…

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” It is available through Amazon as a Kindle download and as a paperback. http://www.amazon.com/Five-Fingers-Ten-Toes-Difference/dp/1478368055/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411511026&sr=1-1&keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel