To clean or not to clean...

Hello!

            I have a teensy tiny confession to make. This week, from out of the clear blue yonder, someone (a.k.a. my sister) “dropped in” on me. Now, you must try to understand… for Todd and me, and the way we “keep house,” dropping in is not our best or most favorable option. When my doorbell rings, I freeze, imagining every horrific scenario. It’s such a blasted conflict of interest too, because I really do enjoy visitors – and I really do enjoy my sister. I guess I just really really (really) need a heads-up – 24 hours is preferable, but even 30 minutes can get me a quick fix. 

Here’s the real deal, okay? (Take a deep breath here.) Todd and I are both a bit  (for lack of a better word, I’ll create one…) “Pack Ratty.” It’s true. It’s not like they’re going to film a reality TV show about us or anything (at least not yet…); but we really do have a lot of “stuff’” and our “stuff” may or may not be absolutely necessary to our day-to-day living. If you are unsure about your own state of “Pack-Ratty-ness,” allow me to provide you with a few examples, so that you can compare: 

When the kids lived here, we’d/I’d say things like, “Oh my gosh you guys, your rooms look terrible!” (The word “sty” may have even been used a time or two). Sometimes I’d make them a deal – usually at the beginning of summer vacation. “Tell you what – if you clean your rooms really well, I’ll buy you each one CD of your choice.” Each child, feeling encouraged by my offer, went to the kitchen cabinet and withdrew a big, black Hefty bag. They knew that along with the actual dusting and vacuuming associated with cleaning, also came the “let’s take a load of old clothes and toys to Goodwill.” The children would put on music and get down to work. 

I’d feel pretty good about myself. Here it was, mid-June, and I had the kids motivated to clean, plus they even “whistled while they worked.” I’d throw in a load of laundry, make a shopping list, and then meander down the hall to glance into their rooms, just to see how things were going. BIG mistake, BIG! 

I’d see a stack of items on my daughter’s bed and I’d point. “What are you doing with those?”

 

“That’s the start of my Goodwill pile,” she so innocently admitted.  

“What? You can’t get rid of this! (I’d hold up a sweater that was probably borderline too small on her.) I love this sweater on you! Remember the time you wore it with…?” And so on, and so forth, I’d give examples of how and why she couldn’t possibly get rid of whatever item was on the chopping block. Finally, she’d relent, and hang the sweater back in her closet. I hate to admit this, but these types of conversations took place until the day she got married and moved out. I do not believe that she is “Pack-Ratty” in her own home, like her dad and me. Time will certainly tell...  

It was surprising to me to find out that not all people act the way that we act. Who knew? Some people actually enjoy getting rid of clothing that doesn’t fit, and actually enjoy donating their kids’ old toys to people who’ll use them. For example, not everyone holds onto a high chair in their basement for twenty years because some day their five-year-old might have a child and bring that child over for dinner, and what will that child sit on then if we get rid of the high chair today?  Note: The high chair is now yellow and is heading to the dump this weekend because no child (grand or otherwise) would ever safely sit on it again. Did we learn our lesson? Hmmm…  

We’ve actually had some sane adult family members and friends who’ve offered to go into certain rooms in our home and dispose of items for us. Oh, the horror, oh, the trauma… “Absolutely not!” We exclaim. “We’ll be going into that room soon – very soon, and making the tough decisions for ourselves.” The sane ones nod as though they understand, but… I’m not really sure that they do. 

And just so that we’re clear – it’s not just me! Todd’s lower level, his section of the basement, is – well – let’s just say that it’s full. Every so often, on a rainy weekend, he’ll say, “I’m going into my workroom and I’m going to organize. If I’m not out in two hours, throw me a lifeline.” 

“Okay, Honey, you do that,” I say. I’m not sure of any real dent he’s ever made in the clutter, but I know that he loves to be in that room.  

On rainy days, many women like to clean. I do not. Rainy days are made for many things, but I’m afraid that cleaning is not one of them. Okay, obviously I’m kidding (a little bit anyway). The house isn’t that bad, but I do enjoy just about any other activity more than housework. 

One thing is true though – once you’ve been caught – once that doorbell rings and it’s not the FedEx man – once that porch person says, “Suuure, I’ve got an extra half hour and I’d love to come in for a Diet Pepsi” – you’re totally busted, my friend. It makes you stop and re-evaluate your time management skills. It makes you want to drag out the broom, the mop and the 409, the vacuum and the webster/duster thing, and get down to business. 

But it’s a funny thing – just as soon as she left that day, my phone rang. It was my daughter. The sweet sound of her far-away voice said, “Hi Mama Llama, how are you today?” and all thoughts of grime removal washed permanently from my brain.” 

“Hi Hon, I’m good – how are you? How’s the baby?” … And an hour later, scouring the bathroom was the furthest subject from my mind. 

I’ve never had a particularly immaculately clean home – that is true. But I do like to think that I’ve always taken time out for the people and activities that matter the most to me: My husband, my kids, pets, church activities, writing, reading books (or anything else), going to movies, watching TV, meeting friends for coffee, talking on the phone, going for walks… ;)  I think you catch my drift…  

Have a wonderful day! 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – a Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference. For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com   

Showering Baby S (not with water)

Joe, Megan (Baby S), Me, Todd

Isn’t it crazy the way time can fly? Sometimes it drags by super slowly; but when it’s moving, WOW, it really moves fast, doesn’t it? That’s how the past few weeks have seemed here in Waukesha, Wis. - crazy and moving fast.

About two months ago I spoke with my daughter Megan, and we penciled in a date for her baby shower: Sunday, May 3, 2015. Since she lives in Connecticut, early May was at the tail end of the time she’d safely be able to travel a long distance. I hoped and prayed for good weather so that flights could take off and land, uninterrupted. (They did…)

Joe’s mom (Bonnie) and I decided to co-host the event and the planning began. I drafted the invitations, which stated that the baby is believed to be a male. J We divided them up and sent them out to our respective family members and friends. Bonnie and I got together to shop for decorations, favors, and food items. We even sat down together for a lunch. We shared a few laughs as we plotted out the list of odd jobs we’d split between the two of us grandmaws. 

In the meantime, Tony and Lesleigh came to town for numerous work commitments, and a little ‘family time.’ It was such fun to see them and spend time de-briefing about all of the exciting opportunities that they are working on and working through. I cannot even describe to you the amount of positive energy these two bring to our now-mostly-quiet nest. There’s always something crazy going on…

Time snuck up on me, and before I knew what hit, it was Friday - time to pick up Megan and Joe at the airport. I’d arranged a brunch for them to see some family members, especially my 92-year old dad.  It was fun/interesting for me to sit back and listen to Megan talk about the various things going on in their lives. It was sort of a “Fiddler on the Roof” moment – (sing) “Is this the little girl I carried…?” She seems so happy, and is so well-spoken. I’m shaking my head as I type, unsure of where the past 26 years have gone exactly… Then Todd and I took the two of them out for dinner Friday night, where we discussed scenarios of our upcoming trip to Connecticut (post-baby). The kids spent most of Saturday with Joe’s family, and finally the day of the shower arrived.

Several of us met at the church hall, where we began food preparation. Some decorated the space with crepe paper and balloons. Guests arrived, all so full of joy to see the kids again, and to share the excitement of showering them with needed items for their growing family. Since everyone knew the kids were flying in, some shipped larger gifts directly to their home. For a lil guy, “Baby S” has now got a whooole lotta neat “Shtuff.”

 

One of the neatest gifts came in the form of a video. Our daughter-in-law, Lesleigh, had the idea of interviewing “moms” of all ages and stages, on three basic topics: “What food cravings did you have while you were expecting? Since you've been parenting, what’s a funny thing you/your child said? What advice would you like to share with a mama-to-be?” As Les and Tony toured this spring, she collected film clips of sweet, funny, heart-felt tid bits from moms, and assembled them into a dear present for Megan and Joe. Before the gift opening, she showed the finished product to the roomful of women. There was much laughter, and even a few tears. I think it’s something Megan will watch many times and enjoy, over the upcoming months and beyond. I'd like to say a public "Thank you" to the lovely ladies who shared their wisdom here. I’ve included the video, in case you haven’t seen it yet:

 

Later that evening, Todd and I sat and watched as Megan and Joe packed up their things and prepared to leave early the next day. It felt a little strange in a way. We knew that the next phase for us all would now include the baby. Up until then, we’d had the shower to focus on. Now, the next step – giving birth. Our daughter’s going to be a mom. We are actually going to be grandparents. Not just a title or a concept – actual grandparents!

Mother's Day is tomorrow, and I, personally, have been thinking about it a bit differently this year. Years ago, the focus was my own mom, then added Todd’s mom. For a long time now it’s been me (the mom) thinking about my own two kids, and then added in their spouses; but now a whole new generation is ushering in. Wow, you know? Sometimes I wonder what the world will be like when Baby S (and all of these new little children) grows up, goes to college, tries to make a living. ...But that’s a bit far down the road for today, isn’t it?

My guess is that we won’t even be able to guess how it will be for the “up-and-comings.” We’ll all just need to do the best we can, and trust that (as most people/parents/grandparents do) somehow it’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to.

“…God willin', and the creek don’t rise…”  

Signed, "Soon-to-be Gramma" Katie  :)

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” It is available on Amazon, both as a Kindle download, as well as a paperback. For more information, visit www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

A Rainy Friday Night in April...

Hello there!

How’s everybody doing out there? Here in Waukesha, Wis., Spring has not thoroughly sprung. It has teased us a bit with occasional 60-70-ish degree days, but overall it’s still pretty chilly. The upside to the April chill is that we still have a whole lot of May’s warm goodness to look forward to.

I wanted to take a moment to share something with you all that recently turned out to be inspiring as well as a lot of fun for me. First I want to say that I swear I meet the nicest people in the world. Back in August of 2013, Todd and I attended the Helping Hands Midwest picnic in Ohio. Here’s the link to the blog post I wrote about that:  http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2013/08/helping-hands-midwest-picnic.html   Along with many other folks, we met a young family from northern Illinois. They did not attend the gathering in 2014, but I could see via her Facebook posts that she’d gone into business by opening a coffee shop.

A couple of months ago, out of the clear blue, she messaged me and asked if I’d be interested to come down to her shop and do an author event. She hoped to coordinate so that Tony could be her musical guest. Her hope was to make it out to be a Lucky Fin family event. I’ll cut to the chase and say that her request worked out perfectly with Tony and Lesleigh’s Spring tour. The event took place this past Friday, April 24, and it was so special. Todd also wanted to participate, so he took off a few hours early from work, and drove me down to Long Grove, Illinois.

Lesleigh, Tony, Me, and Todd at Beans & Leaves in Long Grove, IL

The coffee shop, Beans and Leaves Coffee & Tea, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beans-Leaves-Coffee-Tea-Cafe/108511809972?fref=ts is in a very eclectic and artist-y area of their town. I told our hostess, Ethel Robey-Berger, that it reminded me of Wisconsin’s own “Door County” tourist area. Ethel had hoped that our event could be held outside on the shop’s patio area; but (and you know what I’m going to say next) it was approximately 45 degrees and raining. ;)  Soooo… inside we went.

Tony and Lesleigh were already there and setting up when we arrived. Since we were to share the stage as an Author/Singer/Songwriter evening, Tony and I had decided that I’d start off the evening, speaking about our early days. I spoke to the intimate “Standing Room Only” crowd about how a young couple (Todd and me) went from meeting, dating, and living as young marrieds; to the parents (me, now a stay-at-home mother) of a child born with a limb difference. I shared Todd’s and my differing life approaches, and how much I worried. I had so many questions – would Tony ever play sports? Music? Find love? I spoke about some of my early feelings of stranger’s stares and questions, and how I eventually chose to educate others through my responses. “He was born this way,” I’d say. I believe that choice has made all the difference in all of our lives.

 

I then left the stage area, and Tony and Lesleigh put on an inspirational concert. He told stories of how certain songs came to be. He invited Lesleigh to sing with him, and they shared their harmonies with the crowd. Many kids were present, and so he interspersed childrens’ songs into the show. As always, the whole crowd sang along to “The Lucky Fin” Song, which often leaves ‘some people’ ;) teary. Here’s the link for the song/video, just in case you’ve never seen it.

 

 Right before the end of the concert, I went back on stage and wrapped things up. “Remember all of my early questions? How I worried if he’d play music, or if he’d find love? Well… how’s he doing?” I assumed from the crowd’s applause that they feel he CAN play music well, and that the kids’ marriage and love are apparent. To end the show, Tony played “America to Go,” which is one of my all-time Tony Memmel fav’s… (yes, I admit to having many, but still…)

 

After the concert, people came up, introduced themselves, and chatted. The kids sold CD’s and I sold/signed some books. It was great to see some familiar faces from the Illinois chapter of the Lucky Fin, and it was also great to make some new friends. But for me, I think that the highlight of my night was meeting a young woman who is anticipating the birth of her unborn Lucky Fin baby. She and her husband came out to hear Tony play and to meet him in person. I think (I really do think) that seeing him and Lesleigh perform, meeting Ethel, me and several other families of kids with limb differences, was a big relief/support to them already. They now know they’re not alone, and that many people have been where they are – and most of all, that life can be so good, so positive, for our kids.

After we left the coffee shop, Ethel and her family took the four of us to a local Italian restaurant. We shared some good food, along with lovely conversation about everything from how they met, to their kids’ school experiences, to music, to parents, to retirement… a little something for each of us. It’s always such fun to get to know new friends, isn’t it?

Anyway, I want to take this opportunity to thank Ethel, her family, her employees, the Lucky Fin families who came out, and the Long Grove community for welcoming us. What a great way to spend a rainy Friday night in April…! 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” It is available through Amazon:   http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_13?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel&sprefix=katie+kolberg%2Caps%2C182

For more information about Katie, her book, her blog, and her writing go to www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

   

Remembering Hands 2 Love Camp

It is so incredibly hard to believe that a whole year has passed since Todd and I were invited to attend Hands 2 Love Camp in Gainesville, Florida. Last year at this time, we were busy planning, plotting, and packing.

We met so many lovely people - both adults and children. Not to mention that being from Wisconsin, we were able to absorb some of that gorgeous Florida sunshine for a few days.

When we got home, I wrote a blog post all about it, and decided to share portions of it again. If you are going to the event this weekend, have a wonderful time. Thanks to every single person - both staff and families - for your hospitality to our family. It is not forgotten... :)

Written in April of 2014: 

Todd and I flew into Gainesville, Florida - a part of Florida that we'd never visited before. The camp was set on a lake’s shore with cabins scattered around the outskirts. It was a very pretty sight. Todd, Tony and I stayed at a motel. The number of camp families had grown so large that some of the attendees stayed at the motel too.

The weather turned out gorgeous – if you enjoy blue skies, temps in the low 80’s, and a light wind blowing thru the trees. On Monday, as I sat at my dining room table looking out at the snow swirling around in my back yard (again!), it was hard to believe we just experienced all of that beautiful weather the day before. Though I love my Wis. home, those warm breezes surely did call out my name…

Everyone at the camp welcomed us with warm smiles and hugs. It was such fun to finally associate faces and names to certain Facebook friends of mine. Every so often someone came up to introduce herself to me, and we’d smile and laugh as old friends – which of course we are! Oh, social media - how you’ve changed the world! Ruthie showed us around and explained what we’d be doing on Saturday. How strange it was for me to be back in a camp setting after so many years. It brought back wonderful memories of my own experiences attending 4-H and church camps. Isn’t it amazing how things ‘stay the same’ even as they change? Think about it…  

On Saturday morning I felt a little nervous. Todd and I planned to host four parent sessions throughout the day, while their kids attended a music clinic with Tony and a drumming specialist. The subject of our sessions was “Networking.” I remember so clearly being a young mom, trying to find other families to connect with who felt the same way I did. For many parents those feelings still ring true. Let me say this… the world is not always kind, as we all know. But when you are raising a child with a ‘difference,’ when you’re often on guard, watching for people’s reactions, listening for hurtful comments, it can be – well – it can be exhausting. This was a weekend where the parents felt peaceful, ‘at home,’ their children could simply ‘be.’ Since everyone attended for a united purpose, there was never a time for them to feel signaled out or alone. Everyone there was in it together. I hoped and prayed that Todd’s and my message would be heard and well-received because working with these young moms and dads is one of the joys of my life - truly.

Our outdoor location could not have been more fantastic. We sat high up on a hill, with mossy trees providing our shade. We looked to our left – lake. We looked to our right – lake. From the nearby rec center we heard the sounds of the distant drum clinic, and our son’s voice leading a chorus of children in “The Lucky Fin Song.” What a rough way to spend a work day, you know?  A tough job, but somebody had to do it… ;)  The beautiful setting seemed to remove any apprehension.

As I prepared at home the week before, I came across this statement about networking:

“Be amongst others who share your dream.”

I believe that all parents dream for their children – I know that I did and still do! We dream about their futures, what choices they’ll make, what line of work they’ll choose, who they’ll meet (and possibly marry someday)… These parents are coming from many miles to network with other parents who all share a similar bond. Every one of them shares their life with a person (mostly a child) with a limb difference. So as they network about their beautiful kids, as they share what works and what doesn’t, as they laugh or tear up, they know they’re “amongst others who share their dream.” The feedback I received was that, at this time in their lives, nothing is better than that. The date for camp is marked on their calendars already for next year. The countdown has begun.

Camp ended on Sunday morning. Tony spoke to all of the kids and adults, showed the captive audience how he “tapes up” with Gorilla Tape every time he plays. He talked about persistence in doing what you love to do. He sang a couple of his songs. And finally, at the end, he led the whole children’s group in “The Lucky Fin Song,” and all of the kids did hand motions. If there was a dry eye in the place, I didn’t see it. An emotional slide show ended the morning, showing all of the special things (archery, art, music, ropes course, etc.) the kids had done and accomplished throughout the weekend.  Click here to see the Lucky Fin Song video from August, 2013:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Q8pRO_4MI&list=PLAB4186F7073B844F

I want to personally thank all of those at Hands 2 Love who take their time, energy, resources, and love to host this camp each year. They’ve grown ten-fold since their beginning 14 years ago. Who even knows what the future may hold? All I know is that when I was a young mother, it was awfully difficult to find someone who understood what I was feeling. There is growing support out there for all of these parents who want to network, and “be amongst others who share their dream.”

…and there’s a message in there for us all...

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” The book is available thru Amazon. For more information, go to www.katiekolbergmemmel.com

Good News! It's a ...

Well hello!

How’s everybody doing today? We’re good here – in fact we’re very good here – especially since we recently received some exciting news. Before I give the final verdict, however, allow me to provide a few details.

If you missed my blog post about “Megan and Joe and their big announcement,” I suggest you read it now so that you know exactly what I’m talking about. Here’s the link: http://katiekolbergmemmel.blogspot.com/2015/01/megan-joe-and-their-big-announcement.html

It’s been fun for Todd and me to have this exciting new life adventure to process. We’ve been discussing scenarios of how he and I might structure our visit to Connecticut this summer - to see the baby, and spend a little time helping out any way we can. Sure, I can cook something, or wash a few dishes or loads of laundry; but mostly, I’ll want to sit and hold the new baby, rub that soft head on my cheek, talk with Megan, and listen to every last detail of her birthing experience. Todd will probably want to go off to fix, assemble, or build something – anything at all. We’re both hands-on, but in very different ways. Hey – we all play a role, am I right?

I spoke with Megan, as well as Joe’s mom, and we’ve got a date on the calendar for the baby shower. I’ve mailed the invitations, so now it’s time to start purchasing crepe paper streamers and cut-outs of storks - and planning the menu, of course. Nothing says, “Welcome Baby” like ham sandwiches, chips, cakes and cookies. Together, both of our families hope to usher in this sweet little one with plenty of soft onesies, t-shirts and sleepers, snuggly blankies and bottles. Ah, how soon we forget the amount of gear that one must tote during the infant and early toddler years.

Now that Megan is well into her second trimester, she’s feeling pretty good. Yes, she’s tired much of the time, but that’s normal. She’s experienced many of pregnancy’s expected milestones. She recently said, “I’m as hungry as a teenage boy.” And as her baby bump expands, her pants are feeling a little tighter. She’s begun to enjoy the feel of the baby’s tiny kicks, and has even experienced her twenty-week ultrasound.

To be honest, I felt anxious about the ultrasound too, but not just for the news it might bring about the baby’s gender. Certainly, finding out whether it’s a boy or a girl is quite wonderful; but I admit that the test also brought me a bit of anxiety. I’ve written about this before, but I’ll say it again. As a mom, I love my own kids more than I love myself – and I’ll openly admit that I’ve already added my unborn grandchild to that love list as well. So as the date of the ultrasound approached, I just hoped and prayed for a good outcome for the new parents, and that the baby would look healthy and happy on its snapshot.

…and it does…!

Megan called after the test and she sounded relieved and thrilled. She described how her morning had played out, how the tech had measured and scanned, etc. and that all appeared to be in order.

“Yes, the baby resembles Skeletor, but that’s to be expected right now,” she joked.

Tears (good ones) escaped from my eyes, and the inevitable shakiness that always seems to find its way into my speech, was unmistakable when I said, “I’m so happy for you and Joe!” Finally, we hung up so she could call her dad and give him the good news too.

# # #

Have I made you wait long enough? Now that you know everything looks good, and that the baby appears to be happy and healthy, do you want to know what I know?

Well… it’s a BOY!

And, although I’d say this if it was a girl too, we really could not be happier.

Here’s to the happiest and healthiest of babies! (Cheers!)

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference." For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

Rock 'n Roll Hit Him Hard!

Hello! Long time, no blog! I hope this writing finds you happy and healthy, enjoying our new year, 2015.

As many of you know, my son, Tony Memmel, is a musician – a Singer/Songwriter – born and raised in Wisconsin, and now working out of Nashville, Tennessee. He’s married to Lesleigh for (Gosh!) six years already. The two make a great team, both in marriage as well as in music.

When Tony lived here, in Wisconsin, we got together fairly often. H*ck, I even wrote a book about his/our story. For any of my readers that don’t know, the book is entitled, “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.”  Here’s the link to Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Five-Fingers-Ten-Toes-Difference/dp/1478368055/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414630699&sr=1-1&keywords=katie+kolberg+memmel

During the time that I was writing, Tony and I often met to discuss (often at length) our memories of the events that eventually made up the chapters of the book. It was a wonderful time of collaboration – truly.

Now that Tony and Lesleigh are in high demand, traveling here, there and just about everywhere, we don’t talk quite as often as we used to. Now, instead of telling me all about what he’s planning to do, he more often tells me what he’s/they’ve done. So imagine my excitement when he recently texted me at 10:00 p.m. to say that they’d just finished recording a brand new song, and filming its video. Wow! Since I was unaware they were planning to do any of that, it was so exciting to get the news. He told me how I could listen to/view it, and of course I did so - immediately.

The song is “Rock and Roll was New” and it was created for NPR’s Tiny Desk Contest. If you haven’t seen the video yet, watch it now so that you’ll know what I’m talking about. Here it is:

I love everything about this new song/video. I love, love, love Tony’s vocals – his voice sounds powerful, clear and is full of range. I love the images that Lesleigh caught on camera as she filmed – the angles, the sun, his smile, the passion on his face, his tapping toe, his harmonica and guitar. I loved the tiny desk they created for the contest – the creativity that these two display just makes me shake my head. Many people have commented to me, complimenting that cute tiny desk.

But you know what? His lyrics are the real key. He puts into word and melody exactly the way his life unfolded. This is a song that lets the listener into Tony’s real life story - what it was like for him to become a musician. (Note: I personally wrote about some of these experiences, from a parental standpoint, in my book. Check out Chapter 37 for the story about saving for his first guitar – all 100 percent true.)

Who would have ever thought that conversations we had as a family, deals that we made with our thirteen-year-old son, challenges we issued – would someday become lyrics to a song…? What a thrill it is for me to see Tony’s life playing out. He seems to have such a vision – much more vision than I possess. And he does not quit. If there’s something that he wants/wants to do, he takes the time to figure it out, and decide on a plan of action. It’s very cool!

“…started to dream when I was just 13
Saved my money in a jar, so I could buy my first guitar
I plugged it in and felt a spark
Rock ‘n Roll was new and hit me hard…”

And so – to those dear friend-parents out there who are reading this, and are smack dab in the thick of raising your kids… Here’s a little advice for you today. You can use it or toss it – that’s up to you. But for Todd and me, this worked – really well!      

We may never know the impact of something that we do, or something that we say, to our children. Try to make it worthy.

Guard yourselves from saying your child “won’t be able” to do something. Either your child will believe you (God forbid) and think he/she won’t be able to do whatever it is – not even try it, OR, they’ll prove you wrong and you’ll need to eat your words (which are never very tasty the second time around).

You don’t need to cave into your kid's every whim – rather, weigh out what they need and what they want. Find a way to determine your child’s commitment to a project. Instead of being right there with your credit card, challenge them and meet them half way. Work with them instead of doing everything for them. Watch them grow and learn and mature in ways that you may never have imagined.

Because as for me, I never, ever imagined how proud I’d be of my kids. (OR that one would write songs about his experiences...) 

God’s Blessings, my friends!

 Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference. For more information, please visit her website at:  www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

 

 

 

 

Megan, Joe, and their BIG announcement...

Megan, Joe, and Macie - January 17, 2015

 



So ummm… I have a bit of a confession to make. Our family has been keeping quite a secret for about seven weeks now – since Thanksgiving Day, actually.

I’ll come right out with the news, and then fill you in on all of the details. (Drum roll please) Our daughter, Megan, and her husband, Joe, are expecting a baby. Yes, it’s true. Our daughter’s going to be a mama. Her due date is in July. So… if you’ve done the math, this development is going to make Todd and me grandparents! Grampa Todd and Gramma Katie – can you even believe it???

Future Grandparents

To say we’re excited is an understatement. From the moment we heard the news we wanted to begin sharing with everyone; but it’s always good to see how things go for a bit, make sure all is well. The good news is that all seems to be going very well.   

What happened was this… During the week of Thanksgiving, I received a text message from Megan. It said that we should watch for an envelope to come in the mail, but if it was okay, just hold off opening it until we could talk. I didn’t think too much about it – we often ship things to each other, especially on holiday weeks, so I promised we wouldn’t open it. The envelope did arrive, and it was ‘squishy.’ I could tell it wasn’t a card or book or anything. We made a plan to Skype on Thanksgiving morning, when Todd and Joe would both be home.

A vague thought occurred to me. Could she be pregnant? Naaahhh… Probably not. She hasn’t said anything to make me think that – although she did recently ‘change doctors’ and ask me for an updated family medical history. Hmmm… I did not mention my suspicion to Todd, just in case I was very very wrong.

A vague thought occurred to Todd. Could she be pregnant? Naaahhh… Probably not. She hasn’t said anything to make us think that – although she did recently ‘change doctors’ and asked Kate for an updated family medical history. Hmmm… He did not mention his suspicions to me – just in case he was very very wrong.

During the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, we skyped with the kids. As our television displayed huge balloons floating above NYC, we were told to open the envelope. Todd turned to me and whispered, “I’m going to write my idea down, see if I’m right…” He picked up his pencil and wrote a single word on his nearby box of Swedish Fish candy…

We opened our package, and inside was a beautiful card, along with a tiny baby outfit, with turkeys stamped all over it. On the sleeper’s backside was a little puffy turkey, complete with fanned-out feathers. “Mom and Dad, we’re having a baby – You’re going to be grandparents.”  

The little turkey outfit :) 

Todd and I both felt so happy – sitting together on that special holiday morning, being able to see the excitement on the kids’ faces as they gave us the good news, all of us sharing the tears of joy that only accompany wonderful news such as this. Todd finally revealed that he’d written the word, “Pregnant” before they divulged their news, just so that we’d believe him if that was indeed the news.

Megan said they’d been to the doctor, and that things looked normal. She often felt tired, and a little nauseous, but so far, so good. It was funny because she suddenly seemed so different to me. With the simple delivery of their news, so much had changed. This was my child – preparing to have a child. I felt protective, wanted her to get plenty of rest, eat well, not lift anything heavy or accidentally slip on a snowy sidewalk. I’m sure it’s just the beginning of lots of feelings for all of us.

Megan and me - April, 2013

Since it was so early in the pregnancy, they asked us to keep their secret a secret, especially since they were coming home to Waukesha for Christmas. They wanted to see people in person, and give them the good news face-to-face. Of course we agreed to silence, but I’m not gonna lie - it’s been tough. As you know, I talk a great deal, and had to really guard myself against letting anything slip. But nothing did.

The exception to the silence was that each of the kids called their siblings, and gave the good news via telephone. Megan said that Tony and Lesleigh sounded very excited for them and asked lots of questions. Most of all, Tony encouraged them to name the baby “Anthony,” and if a girl, “Antoinette.”  …a simple request… (shrugs) ;) 

My fav four in NYC after the MABF competition - June, 2014

I must admit that our silence paid off because it was a true joy on Christmas morning to watch Megan and Joe tell my 92-year-old dad the good news, and to see his reaction. It was also fun to witness the hugs and hear the many well-wishes from aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

I’ve been planning this blog post for ooohhh, about seven weeks now, promising I wouldn’t do anything until the kids were ready to make their announcement “Facebook Official.”

And so, here we are at about thirteen weeks (but who’s counting???) With the kids living in Connecticut, we’re looking at logistics of how things might play out. Can we figure out a time for them to come back here for a baby shower? Will we travel there immediately post baby, or wait a bit? What makes the best sense? We don’t need to have every answer right now, but we’re thinking about it all, as you can imagine.

And that little turkey outfit? It’s been on a hanger in our living room since the day we found out. It makes us smile when we see it, makes us feel closer to the situation, helps to bridge the many miles between us.

As the weeks and months tick by, I’m sure there’ll be a lot more I’ll write about all of this; but for today, I ask this… Please keep Megan, Joe, and their little “Baby S” in your most positive thoughts and deepest prayers. Oh, and maybe, since this is new for us all, just throw our whole family into that mix, just for good measure!

As always, thanks for reading…

Until we blog again,

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information about the book and the author, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com