Stop right there. Never
seen the movie? At our age? Technically, she’s two years older than me, so
that made me all the more surprised. I reflected back to the first time I had
actually seen it. It was a Saturday night in early December of 1987. Tony had
just turned two that week. I remember sitting on the living room floor,
wrapping Christmas gifts, and crying at the end when the whole movie came
together.
Back to present day, I noticed that the movie was scheduled
on NBC for 7 p.m. last Saturday night. When I saw the listing I shot my friend
a text message and told her she could watch it, if she had the time. As long as
Todd and I were home, I suggested we should watch it again too. For me, the
movie’s message never gets old.
The story’s main character, George Bailey (played by James
Stewart) says, “I suppose it’d been better if I’d never been born.” It
allows the viewer to look back and see how his life pieced together – decision
by decision – and how each one shaped, not only George’s own life, but so many other people around him as well. If George
had never been born, so many of life’s circumstances would never have happened,
or would have happened completely differently – most for the worst, in this
case.
My annual viewing made me stop and think about my own life
and the lives of those I love. How have the decisions that I’ve made, or not
made, impacted the people around me? Yes, there are the obvious things that
stand out – marriage, children, etc. But within all of that, in the nitty
gritty of life, what differences were made by my simply “existing?” The truth
is that I/we might never know the difference we make in another person’s life.
Take my children for example… One of my daughter’s favorite
songs – it’s more of her ‘theme song’ really – is Tom Petty’s “I
Won’t Back Down.” Even as a little girl, Megan would dig her heels in
and have hefty opinions. At times, as her mother, that trait drove me crazy.
But as a young teen and young adult, her opinions were extremely valid and
admirable. In matters that really counted, she didn’t back down, and that fact made me very proud. She’s still
that way when she sees something askew or wrong. Because she spoke out for
herself and for others, did she ever change someone’s heart or mind? If she
hadn’t been there at a particular time, would someone have chosen differently?
I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not… I hope that whatever she did/said mattered.
And Tony – born without his left forearm and hand, taught
himself the guitar, and regularly exercised his lovable sense of humor. How has
his life changed others? I told him
in a recent phone conversation how adaptable he is in life's many circumstances. It
doesn’t matter who he’s with or who he’s supposed to play for – he smiles and
adapts. How many school age children have benefited by his and Lesleigh’s music
clinics and concerts? Because they so often work together, how has their
marriage reflected out into the world? How many teenagers who face difficulties
have met Tony and thought If he can do
that with one hand, maybe I could do it too… I don’t really know. Maybe
many, or maybe just one or two - but certainly someone. Of that I’m very sure.
And me – if I’d never met and married Todd, if we’d never
given birth to our next generation, if we’d never gone through all of our
parenting sorrows and joys, if I’d never written “Five Fingers…” Well, who even knows? Something interesting
happened a while ago. I was at a high school, speaking with a Family Living
class about our story. Afterwards, a young male student came up to me, shook my
hand, and asked me a few questions. Later, the teacher came over to me and
said, “He hasn’t said anything all semester. Today he spoke with you…”
Honestly, I’ll probably never see that young man again. It was a brief moment
in time. Did I make a difference that day? I don’t know. Maybe… I hope so.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that when you look at your
life and see all of the people you’ve been in contact with and possibly
influenced for the good – take a moment to appreciate your life, your gifts and
talents, your personality. Thank God you were born, and that you have/had every
opportunity – the good as well as the ones we perceive as negative. None of us
ever knows who’s watching or what they’re thinking. None of us ever knows the
difference we might be making, just by being exactly who we are.
At 9:58 last Saturday night, my friend texted me back. “That
was a really good movie!” she said.
I’d have to agree with her on that. I’d even go so far as to
say it’s a wonderful movie about a wonderful life.
Now go out and have a wonderful
day…!
Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A
Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more
information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com
Wonderfully said. :)
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