Thursday, December 10, 2015

Is your life a wonderful life?

Okay, so probably about a month ago, I was talking with an old friend of mine. She had tickets this season to see a stage production of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” After marveling for a minute (or five) at how lucky I felt she was, she confessed, “I’ve never seen the movie.”  

Stop right there. Never seen the movie? At our age? Technically, she’s two years older than me, so that made me all the more surprised. I reflected back to the first time I had actually seen it. It was a Saturday night in early December of 1987. Tony had just turned two that week. I remember sitting on the living room floor, wrapping Christmas gifts, and crying at the end when the whole movie came together.   

Back to present day, I noticed that the movie was scheduled on NBC for 7 p.m. last Saturday night. When I saw the listing I shot my friend a text message and told her she could watch it, if she had the time. As long as Todd and I were home, I suggested we should watch it again too. For me, the movie’s message never gets old. 

The story’s main character, George Bailey (played by James Stewart) says, “I suppose it’d  been better if I’d never been born.” It allows the viewer to look back and see how his life pieced together – decision by decision – and how each one shaped, not only George’s own life, but so many other people around him as well. If George had never been born, so many of life’s circumstances would never have happened, or would have happened completely differently – most for the worst, in this case.  

My annual viewing made me stop and think about my own life and the lives of those I love. How have the decisions that I’ve made, or not made, impacted the people around me? Yes, there are the obvious things that stand out – marriage, children, etc. But within all of that, in the nitty gritty of life, what differences were made by my simply “existing?” The truth is that I/we might never know the difference we make in another person’s life. 

Take my children for example… One of my daughter’s favorite songs – it’s more of her ‘theme song’ really – is Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down.” Even as a little girl, Megan would dig her heels in and have hefty opinions. At times, as her mother, that trait drove me crazy. But as a young teen and young adult, her opinions were extremely valid and admirable. In matters that really counted, she didn’t back down, and that fact made me very proud. She’s still that way when she sees something askew or wrong. Because she spoke out for herself and for others, did she ever change someone’s heart or mind? If she hadn’t been there at a particular time, would someone have chosen differently? I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not… I hope that whatever she did/said mattered. 

And Tony – born without his left forearm and hand, taught himself the guitar, and regularly exercised his lovable sense of humor. How has his life changed others? I told him in a recent phone conversation how adaptable he is in life's many circumstances. It doesn’t matter who he’s with or who he’s supposed to play for – he smiles and adapts. How many school age children have benefited by his and Lesleigh’s music clinics and concerts? Because they so often work together, how has their marriage reflected out into the world? How many teenagers who face difficulties have met Tony and thought If he can do that with one hand, maybe I could do it too… I don’t really know. Maybe many, or maybe just one or two - but certainly someone. Of that I’m very sure.

And me – if I’d never met and married Todd, if we’d never given birth to our next generation, if we’d never gone through all of our parenting sorrows and joys, if I’d never written “Five Fingers…”  Well, who even knows? Something interesting happened a while ago. I was at a high school, speaking with a Family Living class about our story. Afterwards, a young male student came up to me, shook my hand, and asked me a few questions. Later, the teacher came over to me and said, “He hasn’t said anything all semester. Today he spoke with you…” Honestly, I’ll probably never see that young man again. It was a brief moment in time. Did I make a difference that day? I don’t know. Maybe… I hope so. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that when you look at your life and see all of the people you’ve been in contact with and possibly influenced for the good – take a moment to appreciate your life, your gifts and talents, your personality. Thank God you were born, and that you have/had every opportunity – the good as well as the ones we perceive as negative. None of us ever knows who’s watching or what they’re thinking. None of us ever knows the difference we might be making, just by being exactly who we are.  

At 9:58 last Saturday night, my friend texted me back. “That was a really good movie!” she said.  

I’d have to agree with her on that. I’d even go so far as to say it’s a wonderful movie about a wonderful life. 

Now go out and have a wonderful day…!
 

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of “Five Fingers, Ten Toes – A Mother’s Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference.” For more information, visit her website at www.katiekolbergmemmel.com 

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