Gettin' Together

When I was a young mom, Oh, 20-ish years ago, and my son and daughter (three years apart) were so little, I wondered how life would unfold as they got older, if they'd bond someday, if they'd like each other. When I was a young-ish mom, about 15 years ago, and I had pre-teens in my house, I saw exactly how life was unfolding and I wondered sometimes how we'd make it through all of the sibling squabbles: "Why do I hafta  ___ when he/she doesn't hafta ___???" Traditional questions like that. About ten years ago, (as a now-seasoned veteran mother figure), when my oldest was preparing for college and my youngest was in the heat of high school, I saw some serious bonding happening between the kids. He'd already been through a lot of what the teen years had to offer, and had done very well. Along with lots of fun and good friends, occasional friend dilemmas, peer pressures and challenges also presented. It made me so happy to know that sometimes Megan would ask Tony for advice, and that he would be kind, and offer it willingly.

Fast forward a few years. In January of 2009, Tony and his wife (Lesleigh) said "I do." In December of the same year, Megan and her husband (Joe) also walked down the aisle. Shortly after Megan's wedding - just a couple of weeks - Joe got a good job offer that would end up taking the kids out to the Philadelphia area. I had thought that when she went off to the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis that she was far away (five hours), but this was more like 15 hours... (Yikes!) Saying good-bye was hard to do, but we knew they had to go. They've done really well, and have now been transferred up to Connecticut, which is where they presently live.

When Tony and Lesleigh are out on tour, they always stop in and stay with Megan & Joe for a day or two. It does my heart good to know that all four of my favorite youngsters are together occasionally. Last year, on Easter Sunday, when it was just Todd and me sitting in church by ourselves, at one time it might have made me sad. But knowing that the four kids were celebrating Easter together changed any thought of sad into glad. They travelled to New York City for the day, worshipped at St. Patrick's Cathedral (where our whole family had spent time together in the past), and shared an Easter dinner of reuben sandwiches in a local pub. It made me feel very good inside. And today, since Tony travelled out to Massachusetts for the Helping Hands Winter Outing, I found out that Megan & Joe are going to drive up from Connecticut and see him for a few hours before he has to fly home tomorrow.

For those of you young moms and dads who wonder if their kids will ever stop fighting, who wonder if they'll ever get along... well, I don't know who will or who won't. Everyone's situations are different. BUT I CAN say that it is possible for siblings to love each other and want to spend time together. 

And from a mother's perspective, I can't think of anything nicer... If Todd and I can't personally be there, then I'm thrilled that they're together. Down the road, when Todd & I are long gone, they'll be looking to each other for holiday plans and trips here and there.  No one knows us like our immediate families. Sometimes that's a good thing, and sometimes, well, not so much. But when it's good, it's very very good.

Have a fun get-together, guys!

Katie Kolberg Memmel is the author of "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born with a Limb Difference."  For more information, go to her website at: www.katiekolbergmemmel.com