Three "Ch" words...

Good morning! How did it get to be Thursday already? I had a list of 'things to do' this week that stretched a mile long, and I'm maybe only a quarter mile of the way down the list. Funny how some weeks are like that - most weeks actually - where we need to roll 'to do' lists into the following days and weeks to come. (sigh) An ongoing issue over here - especially in matters such as laundry and cleaning.

Anyway, this morning, as I glanced through my Facebook feed, I saw three words that got me to thinking: Choice, Chance, and Change. For me, over the past few years, these three words have reformed my life. I'm not being silly or cliche' here - choice, chance and change have become something of a new train of thought for me... a brand new, blessed train of thought.

In my last blog post, I explained that because of some wonderful familial transitions that occurred in 2009, my then-present way of life was about to require some fine-tuning and adjusting. I made the choice to take a chance and attempt some change in my day-to-day living. As I mentioned, I signed up for a class.

When I made the choice to attend the Creative Writing course at WCTC, I never dreamed that I'd ever end up writing a book. Though I'd often kept journals through my life, I never thought I had "it" in me to actually write a book - a whole book - cover to cover. I've always lived my life as sort of a dreamer - the kind of person who sees the big picture, but has no idea whatsoever how to accomplish getting "there." As I sat thru the class sessions and our teacher suggested writing assignments such as, "Describe a person in your life in full detail," or "Describe a time in your life that you had a brush with the law..." I would sit at my computer and write about people I loved, or didn't love, or people who were comical or who had broken my heart. I found my mind wandering day and night - sometimes right through usually-enjoyable television shows I was trying to watch - coming up with new and interesting scenarios for my assignments.

When an internet friend (a blog for another time) suggested I write a book I laughed at her. "Good one! Ya, sure, uh huh, someday..."  But the more assignments we received, the more I realized that all of the snipets of life I was already writing about WERE a story. OUR story. MY story. They were becoming chapters of - well - of something I wasn't completely aware of yet. But suddenly I felt determined to find out. Could I focus long-term? Could I build our story from the ground up? Would it make sense to anyone but me?

There was only one way to find out...

I took a chance. I rolled up my sleeves and got busy. The ideas our teacher weekly fed us now became a new mission for me. I would take the suggestions and start writing chapters of my real life. I had a story I'd lived for (at that time) more than 24 years. It was full of everything life offers - love, fury, passion, fear, happiness, worry, and deep joy. As I sat here typing there were days I smiled, really laughed at some of the silly experiences we'd lived. And of course there were days that the exact opposite happened. With a full box of tissues, I'd sit and stare out the window, tears streaming down my cheeks. I searched for just the right words to tell the tale of what the deepest part of my soul was feeling at that unsure moment of my life's time.

The book took shape, and as many of you know, (and have already read) I took a huge chance and put it out there for the world to see. I self-published "Five Fingers, Ten Toes - A Mother's Story of Raising a Child Born With a Limb Difference." I didn't just take a chance, I feel I personally took a HUGE personal chance. This wasn't just some dreamed-up work of fiction I was attempting to share. This was // This IS my life. This IS my husband's life. This IS my son's, my daughter's life. What if people are critical??? What if they're judgmental??? What if they don't like it??? What if they no longer like - well - me or us???

With the positive and encouraging words of each member of my family, I decided it was a chance I needed to take. My goodness... if I bared my soul to someone and they no longer liked me because of it, was that even someone I wanted or needed in my life? If I shared my deepest self and told people how hard some of my experiences had been, that I'd cried and paced and resented and wondered and felt deep pride and ... well, you know... would they judge me?  On the other hand, by taking this chance, what if the soul-baring prompted something else? What if other people who were struggling with similar issues that I'd endured felt a camaraderie? Not just with me, but with each other... what if my crying and pacing and resenting and wondering were emotions that others had faced in their own lives? What if by my sharing our story, other people might actually benefit???

Choices to take chances have created big changes in my recent life. And I must say, that the personal therapy that I have reaped by telling my story has been one of the hugest blessings in my life. The experiences we go through can really help people. Never doubt that. I've met so many wonderful families recently who have all been bonding together over their similarities - the world seems to be shrinking (in really excellent ways!) God bless the internet and its FABulous functions, like bonding families of children with limb differences to each other - letting each and every one of them know that they are not alone in their crying and pacing and resenting and wondering. God bless others who have reached out and by their own choices and the fact that they took chances, are making amazing changes... The Lucky Fin Project, Living One Handed, Helping Hands, Hands Down, My Special Hand, and so many others.

Writing this book was the right thing to do... come what may... and for sharing with those who are interested the fact - the FACT - that in a million and one ways, life can be so so wonderful for our children. Do not doubt that.

Find your own ways of making choices, taking the personal chances and make the changes in the worlds that surround each of you every single day.

God Bless us, every one!

Katie