Ebb'ing and Flowing

Ebb’ing and Flowing – a phrase we use from time to time. “Life ebbs and flows,” I say. “Marriage ebbs and flows,” I advise.

But what in the world does that MEAN? Have you ever stopped to really think about that phrase? I did today. I really did. I stopped and thought and even looked up the word, “Ebb” in the Dictionary. “Flow” I get. “Flow” I witness through day-to-day occurrences. But “Ebb?” Well… the news isn’t quite as positive (at least at first glance). Here are my findings:

According to Oxford American Desk Dictionary, the word “Flow” means: “Moves smoothly or steadily, movement in a stream, hang easily or gracefully (like hair or clothing)…”  Things like that.

According to the same source, the word “Ebb” means: “Movement of the tide out to sea, recede, decline, a turn in circumstance…”  Things like that.

Now, of the two, I’m all about the flow. I could have a nice, flowing feel to my life all day, week, or month long. I like it when life just glides along like water in a nice, peaceful, easy river. The sun is shining, creating a sparkle on my water. No hurry, no worry because I’m inside the boundaries.  Thinking about the fact that the Ebb needs to horn in on my peaceful water-y scenario is disturbing. I don’t really want anything in my life to ‘recede’ or ‘decline,’ much less to be ‘pulled back.’  No “Ebb-age,” thanks, I’m going with the flow.

But then I stopped to think again. (I know - lots of stopping, lots of thinking. Good thing I wasn’t driving at the time.) If life never ‘ebb-ed,’ if it never pulled back or receded, how would anything ever change – not only for the worse, but also for the better? If everything just went along perfectly all the time, how would we ever grow?  (Oooo, cringe…  “G-R-O-W…” There’s that four-letter word for improvement, for change…)

And let’s not forget that even when water is flowing in a calm stream, it doesn’t always remain a peaceful, grand event. Too much rain can send the river flowing out and all around, creating havoc in our once-quiet flowing stream. And likewise, when the ocean recedes, we can enjoy the Ebb by walking barefoot in the extra sand for a while. Reversing either scenario does have its lessons.

So, let’s try this again… “Life ebbs and flows. Marriage ebbs and flows…”  Yup. Everything does. And sometimes it’s wonderful and sometimes it’s awful.

But somehow, I believe, it’s exactly what was intended.